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I am a bad VBAC candidate... Feel like a failure. - Page 2

post #21 of 24

The idea that we have absolute control over out bodies and excecution of the physiological function as well as the state of general health is complete, utter and dangerous delusion. That idea make many people feel as failure for no good reason.


Plenty of vegans get cancer,

Plenty of athletes get heart disease.


Our bodies are nor designed perfectely for anything be it it running, pooping, peeing, birthing or living in general.


Nature is not gentle goddess In a green dress. She is bitch along with her sister Evolution in  a grimy lab. 


Yes, it is the survival of the fittest, or at leas it was this way until the advent of modern medicine.


The reason species develop is massive reproductive wastage.


Modern obstetrics decreased maternal and perinatal mortality by 90%.


Why should you feel like failure? . Simple physiology not longer dictate our survival. Narrow pelvises and babies born blue no  longer means a certain death.  


You are the triumph of human evolution. You have the brains and the sense to show  the two bitchy sisters, Nature and Evolution who is the boss. You are! You availed yourself to the best what modern  medical science has to offer and nowyou are a MOTHER, you infant will group to be an adult. Furthermore, you will have more children and pass on your very smart genes on to the future!




post #22 of 24
Originally Posted by MomRunner View Post

I am just so sad.  I feel like my body failed me.  From the dawn of mankind, all of my mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, etc. had been able to vaginally birth a live baby, except for me.  And based on my history it doesn't look like it can happen.  This was no classical case of cascade of interventions that led me to being flat on my back, with an epidural, stuck to a bed, not having any urge to push, and being pumped full of drugs that distressed my baby.  I should have been able to get him out, but I couldn't...  Any thoughts or encouraging stories?   




I don't have a happy ending VBAC story (yet - though I hope to VBAC my next baby). 


I had the exact same thought: all the women in my family were able to do this (including my 5' tall, 100lb mother). And then it hit me. Did my female ancestors birth a horde of babies each? Sure. But all of them, into the early 20th century, lost at least one child during birth or infancy. So while I'm ticked off to be another c-section statistic, I recognize that without it, my daughter might not be here. 


YOU DID NOT FAIL. You grew a baby and brought a healthy person into the world. You are going love that until your last breath. That sounds pretty successful to me. 

post #23 of 24

I agree with those who say it was probably poor positioning on baby's part. I pushed my first son, med-free, for three hours and he didn't budge at all. With my second, I delivered two hours after the first contraction hit (meaning my entire labour was shorter than my pushing stage with #1) and he was half a pound bigger than my first. He was simply in a better position. I credit my chiropractor for getting #2 into an optimal position. My friend had a very similar experience as well. I am sure you're an excellent vbac candidate.

post #24 of 24

I see no where in your birth story where you are a failure and you cannot have a vaginal birth.  Patience, trust, and a great care provider that will not rush the labor and birthing process.

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