tantrums

[organicviolin]

Ok so today I am just beyond frustrated.  I had a colleague of mine over today to read through some music.  ( We are both professional musicians) and my DS who will be 3 in March while we are trying to read music starts on this epic tantrum over NOTHING AND EVERYTHING!  It goes on for an hour, which is so uncharacteristic of him I just wanted to scream!  I ended up not reading at my best because DS was so busy shrieking and crying and screaming and being a monster.  I tried everything...hugging, I love you's but I need to do x, you can figure it out etc.  Nothing helped so I put him in a room where he could see me and was totally safe telling him he can sort it out.  Do you know how frustrating and how difficult it is to try to sight read and focus with your DS shrieking and crying in the next room?  The other thing to is that I need to show him that I can play as he does some serious contracting work and we are interested in starting a quartet together.......so it's not like a situation easily removed, nor would I want to.  We will be doing this again soon but how can I make sure that DS chills out and cooperates?
PS DS really likes my colleague....so not sure what that's about.

[akat]

I always have someone else watch my kid(s) if I'm going to be working, especially with a colleague.  I can sneak in a moment of work when the little one is occupied here and there, but not a big planned work session.  Toddlers tend to get upset if they know that all of your attention is focused elsewhere, especially on another human.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by akat 

I always have someone else watch my kid(s) if I'm going to be working, especially with a colleague.  I can sneak in a moment of work when the little one is occupied here and there, but not a big planned work session.  Toddlers tend to get upset if they know that all of your attention is focused elsewhere, especially on another human.

Yup, that. I don't think it's realistic to expect a 2yo to play quietly by himself while you give someone else your undivided attention for an hour or more. Five minutes, maybe (my DS won't even give me 30 seconds usually!) but certainly not an hour. What will you do if you start a quartet? I'm guessing then you'll get a babysitter or something? If that's a serious possibility, then I'd just start now with the sitter for situations like this. If you can't afford a sitter or a mother's helper or something (even a grade-school kid who just got home from school... you'll be right in the other room so all they need to do is play with him), see if a mom-friend would be willing to come over with her kid and supervise/entertain your DS while you play. Then you can reciprocate by watching her kid(s) while she cleans or crafts or whatever would help her. Even if you have the calmest, most independent & well-behaved kid on the planet, I think your expectations of him are unrealistic.

[organicviolin]

The weird thing is when last week I did the same thing with another female colleague of mine, he had no issues whatsoever.  It was odd and very uncharacteristic.  He also has been known to come along with me while I teach (for upwards of 1 or 2 hours) with absolutely no problems.  I think that's why it was triply frustrating.  I will definitely be having a sitter next time.  I think he's in a different stage now, as challenging as that is!  Thanks for the input.  Let's hope this colleague does actually want to do it again......sigh

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by organicviolin 

The weird thing is when last week I did the same thing with another female colleague of mine, he had no issues whatsoever.  It was odd and very uncharacteristic.  He also has been known to come along with me while I teach (for upwards of 1 or 2 hours) with absolutely no problems. 

<-- That's me right now, totally completely amazed that he is normally fine for that long!!! I can't even imagine!! LOL!! So if he's normally OK, I wonder if something else was going on?? Like could he have been coming down with a bug (DS is always more crazy when he's teething or getting sick or whatever)... or maybe he didn't like the music or something??? Or maybe it's better if you go somewhere, so there are distractions (new toys etc.) vs. being at your own house... Or maybe he's just in a new stage... at least you've managed to go this long without experiencing this lol... that's been my life every day since DS was born!! (in other words, I'm a little jealous!! )

[organicviolin]

lol I know I am SO blessed.  That's probably why it rattled me so much.  That and I really wanted to impress my colleague so he hires me and we can move stuff along.  sigh.  Fri am I am reading with my gf so hopefully he will cooperate (at her home) so we're going to experiment.  I will be getting a sitter next time with this guy that DS had the melt down with though!  I also got him his own music stand so he can play along on his little violin.  He was standing there crying while trying to play.....so pathetic and cute....

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 


<-- That's me right now, totally completely amazed that he is normally fine for that long!!! I can't even imagine!! LOL!! So if he's normally OK, I wonder if something else was going on?? Like could he have been coming down with a bug (DS is always more crazy when he's teething or getting sick or whatever)... or maybe he didn't like the music or something??? Or maybe it's better if you go somewhere, so there are distractions (new toys etc.) vs. being at your own house... Or maybe he's just in a new stage... at least you've managed to go this long without experiencing this lol... that's been my life every day since DS was born!! (in other words, I'm a little jealous!! )