Maintaining sense of self with language delay

[kayalizard]

This is my first time posting to the forums!!! And let me say, I MISS my Mothering magazines, first and foremost. What a great reference they were during my first couple years of being a mom. 

My boy is 2.5 and speech delayed - we've been seeing a speech therapist with little success for months, have combed resources on ideas for improving and modelling language, taken classes and discussed incessantly with every adult that crosses our path.  Funny that I assumed my son, being an avid "reader" of books who since being a year old would sit through 20 books (or more!) and having such high comprehension of everything we say, would begin speaking easily. We have all the same issues that are normal for speech delay - aggression, frustration, inability to communicate needs.

But I'm not writing in for advice on the usual speech issues I could find answers strewn across the internet. Rather, I feel my focus needs to switch. That in spending so much time and energy on speech concerns, I haven't been able to focus on his emerging sense of self. I've always felt I would encourage my children as people to be who they are. That I would respect his boundaries and his self, his ideas and interests. Of course this become more difficult without good communication but surely there are ways we can move to a more respecting place. While encouraging him and "keeping up with" the appointments, how can I discover and value him for who he is. Is there a lesson here for me as a mother?

Ideas, or experiences or anything at all would be much appreciated!

[RJ11]

I highly recommend this book called "Play to Talk"

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_8?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=play+to+talk+a+practical+guide+to+help+your+late-talking+child+join+the+conversation&sprefix=play+to+

It's not about teaching a child words it's about teaching the parents ways to respond that open the door for more interaction. Reading this book may relieve some stress about teaching him and let you just be with him and enjoy him where he is right now and not worry so much about where he is supposed to be.

[Peony]

I also have a 2.5y old DS who has a speech delay. He has been receiving ST for one year with few results so now I've cobbled things together so he sees someone 4 days a week. Like you I feel like I have invested so much into his speech that I feel I often lose sight of him as just a toddler. DS1 also has high receptive skills, just the actual speech isn't there. It is so different for every family. I have 4 children and DS1 is the 3rd child, because he is relatively easy compared to my other kids, he can and does get lost in the shuffle. I've made it a point that he gets to do something every day that HE enjoys. It can be going to the library, the pool, stopping by the train museum. I do work part time so it isn't always me that can take him, he adores our sitter and she says he is best little boy she has ever nannied for so I know the feeling is mutual. I've found that I enjoy planning out the days around DS1 instead attempting to fit something in "if we have time". I'm hoping that he is getting to experience that things that he does enjoy, taking walks in good weather for example  and be able to grow more of his personality instead the label of the easy 3rd child who has a speech delay path that we were on for a while. He still may be easier then my other kids, but I don't want that to be him, if that makes sense. Good luck.