Good fiction book for older children about a grandmother's death?

[LynnS6]

My MIL is dying of multiple myeloma. The cancer treatments have not worked and she's off all treatments. At first I thought we'd probably have 6 months or more, but it looks like she's declining rapidly. They're going to have a meeting with hospice as soon as my husband can fly out there. Our kids know that grandma is sick, but since the decline has been much more rapid than we had thought it would be, I've only just begun to prepare them for the idea that grandma will die.

Dd, in particular, processes things really well through reading about them in books. She's 7, but reading at a very high level and she can handle difficult emotional material (she just read "Becoming Naomi Leon" twice because she liked it, and that book has some pretty mature themes: parental abandonment, alcoholism, custody fight).

I'm looking for a good fiction book on the death of a grandparent that I can encourage dd to read and talk with me about (don't worry, she'll talk about it) in the next year to help her process her grief. Non-fiction isn't all that great, and picture books won't cut it.

(And any ideas for getting an introverted 10 year old boy to talk about the death of his grandmother would be appreciated too!)

[mum5]

I have no suggestions for you, but just wanted to offer my saddness that your family is going through this

[serenbat]

I like "life of pi"

you have different meanings as to the ending depending on your beliefs as it is can be total death it may not come across as simply that- and it's not a "dead grandparent" type of book either- if they are the level and if you know of the book this might be a good fit and invoke a meaning discussion 

Edited by serenbat - 12/7/11 at 8:21pm

[LynnS6]

thanks to you both -- it's a hard time for all of us. Dh left this morning to help his mom and sister look into hospice, talk to the doctors and the pastor of his mom's church (whom dh dislikes and he's going to have to really bit his tongue!). 

I've looked up the Life of Pi, and I think dd's not there yet. I don't think she'll get that much out of it right now. In about 5 years, I think we can have some really interesting discussions. Our 10 year old might, if I can talk him into reading it, but he won't discuss things unless I sit on him about it.

Any suggestions welcome! Apparently, there's a lot out there in picture book format, but not that much for juvenile fiction in chapter book format.

[serenbat]

Pi is the type of book you can read one way one time and another years later.

If your DS read it (it would really appeal to a 10 year old male, the boy in the book is 15) it might be good that he not talk about it and might take more in and process it if he is the type that does not express outwardly. I would just let it sit and see if he goes for it

"Rosanna of the Amish" (not really fiction, some "fiction" but mostly retelling) deals with loss and might be more for your DD???

Edited by serenbat - 12/7/11 at 8:22pm

[nextcommercial]

I'm so sorry about this.  I feel bad for her kids who have to go through this.  It's really hard to do this.

http://www.amazon.com/Invisible-String-Patrice-Karst/dp/0875167349/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323294674&sr=1-1

I think your kids might be too old for "The invisible string".  But, it's something to look at, also the other suggested reading under that might help too.

http://www.amazon.com/Long-Silk-Strand-Grandmothers-Granddaughter/dp/1563972360/ref=sr_1_24?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323294888&sr=1-24  

I know you can do a specific search on Amazon, but when I looked it all seemed sad.   :(  So, I think I used the wrong search words.

[meemee]

so lynn are you looking for a book that talks about a dying gma. 

when i first saw ur thread i thought about this book - but thought it wasnt the right book. its called death be not proud and i have included a review link i found from a 6th grader.

http://www.nisk.k12.ny.us/larow/novels97/DeathbeNotProud.html

i hope you all can go and be a part of the whole process. there is something to children seeing the death process.

i am so sorry. i know it can be so hard. i am so glad ur MIL is not fighting hospice. it will be of great support to your MIL and the family around. 

but i really wish your children could be some part of it. dd helped both her gparents die btw the ages of 4 and 5 and that profoundly affected her in a deep way. 

i dont know how good or how religious this list is http://www.amazon.com/grieving-child-bereavement-books-children/lm/R2DT16G1W2ONK5

here is another list. http://www.sudc.org/IfYouAreBereaved/BookList/ChildrenGriefSupportBookList/tabid/167/Default.aspx a couple look pretty interesting. 

[ollyoxenfree]

There is a beautiful chapter in Magic for Marigold, a novel by L.M. Montgomery (of Anne of Green Gables fame) about a little girl helping her great-grandmother as she dies. She helps the old woman to spend her last few hours in peace and beauty, while the great-grandmother describes her life. The passage is gentle and poignant and moving and it has some humour and a lot of wisdom. 

Other than that book, it's oddly difficult to think of a book about loss of a grandparent. Just in case any of these books might help:  

A Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (death of a friend) 

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (death of a mother) 

Heartbeat by Sharon Creech isn't specifically about the death of a grandparent, but it is about loss and the cycle of life. The grandfather is suffering from dementia. The book is written in blank verse. 

Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie by Jordan Sonnenblick is about a 13 y.o. boy with a 5 y.o. brother who has leukemia (the boy survives). 

I know you asked for novels, not picture books, but I highly recommend: 

Waiting for the Whales by Sheryl McFarlane (death of a grandfather, cycle of life) 

Granddad's Prayer's of the Earth by Douglas Wood and P.J. Lynch (spiritual but not referencing any particular religion)  

I am sorry for your loss. Peace to you and your family now and in the coming days. 

[naaa]

Hi, I'm not a mother, but I stumbled across this site while looking for a children's book.

Anyway, I think the best book would be Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola. (first published in 1973 but still really relevant)

It's about a little boy called Tommy who loves his grandmothers very much-Nana Upstairs is his great grandmother and Nana Downstairs-his grandmother, and visits them every week. But one day Nana Upstairs dies, and we see little tommy looking for nana upstairs but he can't find her. That's when his mother explains what happened to nana upstairs, and says that each falling star is a kiss from nana upstairs. So the book basically explores the concept of death through the eyes of a child.

It's written for ages 4 and up, so it's easy enough to understand literally, but the message that your loved ones will always be there for you even when they're not physically on earth is even easier to understand. Plus the death is not over dramatized.

I read it when I was 10 and it still makes me cry after reading it; it's a really sweet and comforting book, that says a lot without needing too many words.

Amazon.com ( http://www.amazon.com/Nana-Upstairs-Downstairs-Tomie-dePaola/product-reviews/0698118367/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1) has way better reviews, so I think you should take a look.

I hope this is useful and that you and your family will be alright.

[hildare]

we had checked out Fox Song, by Bruchac from the library just for the pictures (dd grabbed it off the shelf) and while it is a picture book (for older readers) i think it might be special for you guys to look at together.  in that book, the main character remembers her great grandmother and their relationship and the things they shared in the natural world.  it's beautiful and sweet.

i also came across another title, called wild girl and gran, for which the description sounded good, though i haven't seen it myself.

olly mentioned one sharon creech book, but i think also by her is the book walk two moons-- it's about the main character dealing with the death of her mother, and it goes along with the grieving process.  you might want to look at it first, but creech is a great author.  i read that book myself a long time ago, and i do think that the character's grandparents are active in the novel, so i don't know if that would make your child sad or not.

i am sorry for your loss, too.  it's hard to watch a loved one pass in that way. 

[meemee]

wow olly ur list blows my mind. 

[LynnS6]

Thank you for all the recommendations -- I'm bookmarking this for when I need them. Dd's working her way through the Little House series now, and when she finishes that in a few weeks, I'll look into some of these books to take with us on the plane, and for January/February.

[ollyoxenfree]

Lynn, in case you also would find some reading material helpful for yourself, you may be interested in Joan Didion's book The Year of Magical Thinking. It is an autobiographical exploration of the grieving and mourning (and she distinguishes between the two) that she experienced after the unexpected death of her husband and serious illness of her daughter (who subsequently died, shortly after the time period that the book covers). Didion writes honestly and powerfully about that period of her life. 

And, meemee, thanks, that's very kind of you to say.