Calling all VBAC hopeful ladies!! - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[XanaduMama]

Right--they don't want to lose your business, they don't want to get sued, they're covering their asses in case something goes "wrong." Plus, I think, they've been trained to believe that women's bodies really just don't work and that birth is inevitably going to go wrong. Do you have any other options in terms of providers? I've come to believe that the provider(s) one chooses contributes 90% to having the kind of birth you want, whether that's a VBAC or a drug-free birth or whatever. So shop around, if you can! Find someone who supports YOUR vision of the birth YOU want.

[beccabus]

Thanks XanaduMama... I feel like crying :(  It's so frustrating!  Thankfully I have a doula who is right behind me.  I would deliver at home but my husband won't even consider it.  He won't even consider a birthing center :(  I'm going to look into other providers and see what I can find...  I'm really just thinking that once I have my consult, everything will be fine...my case seems so obvious to me!!!!!  If I am approved for the VBAC, would my OB continue to fight with me about it the entire pregnancy??  That would be miserable...

[XanaduMama]

Is it the VBAC aspect of birthing at home or in a birthing center that your dh is worried about? Or is he opposed to out-of-hospital births in general? I think you should work on him. Show him the studies. Make him watch The Business of Being Born. Fight for this if it's something important to you--after all, it's your body that's potentially on the line here! He doesn't get to make that unilateral decision for you without consultation. Have you participated in the VBAC forum of Birth and Beyond? You might be able to get a broader range of perspectives/advice over there, and you might also want to ask around in the Maine "tribe" area, to see if others have recommendations for VBAC-supportive OBs or MWs.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by XanaduMama 

 Make him watch The Business of Being Born. 

At first, mine was like "Okay, well I trust you not to make this choice uninformed." but I could tell he wasn't 100% sure, even after talking to the midwife about it.

Then I had him watch The Business of Being Born and he was all for it.

But then, I wasn't VBAC.

But really, that documentary helps explain the choice so well!

[lbkw]

Originally Posted by beccabus 

  I would deliver at home but my husband won't even consider it.  He won't even consider a birthing center :(

I see where you are coming from. My husband has kind of questioned whether it makes sense to even VBAC. His mother had a repeat scheduled c-section after he was born by c-section when she didn't dilate over 28 hours of active labor (very suspicious...but I wasn't there). But he's kind of moved past it. If I wanted to birth at home, he would give me all sorts of guilt why he wants me to be safe in case I needed medical intervention. In our case, we haven't had to deal with it since we have really supportive providers and and very VBAC friendly hospital. I am also happy to go somewhere other than home to deliver. If you have a birth center option, is it close to a hospital for a transfer if needed? The only birth center I know of is across the street from a hospital.

[sjdragonfly]

There is another documentary that I saw on Netflix not long ago called Pregnant in America. I remember they talked about VBAC a bit on there and it was another very pro-homebirth documentary. It might be worth checking out to see if there's anything that would sway your husband a bit. That documentary is chock full of facts and stats that doctors and hospitals like to try and hide from you.

[beccabus]

Thanks a bunch for those movie recommendations.  I have wanted to watch the Business of Being Born, but haven't.  I think he'll watch it with me :)  The birthing center is near two hospitals, but neither of them are VBAC friendly.  I would imagine though that if you needed help they would help regardless of prior deliveries.  

I going to go with the movie to start and see where it goes :)

[sjdragonfly]

More Business of Being Born (the followup to The Business of Being Born) is now on iTunes to rent. It's split into 4 parts. I had been wanting to watch this ever since I heard they were making it. Part 4 is all about VBAC and you can rent the parts separately. I think it would definitely be worth a look for you!

[lbkw]

I was reading a facebook post about encouraging a VBAC mother in labor that she can deliver the baby. People posted all sorts of replies about trusting her body, etc.

Since I've had a vaginal birth and my c-section was scheduled for a breech baby I don't feel like I'm doubting my body or ability to birth any more than I would if I were not a VBAC mother. I feel like I'm in the same boat as any other woman who is having a subsequent child...that even if things went well for my first vaginal birth, I could have different presentation issues or anything that would complicate this birth unrelated to it being VBAC.

I feel like I fall in a different category from women who were sectioned after laboring - for myriad reasons. Clearly in the medical profession, my experience with birth puts my case in a different light since I have a "proven pelvis" from delivery. I just feel like having had a breech baby is what makes me nervous. When I was pregnant with DS, I thought NOTHING about what I could do to influence position and took it all for chance. I just got lucky, I guess. After finding DD breech, I did EVERYTHING I could to change her position and nothing worked. Now I'm trying to get through the rest of this pregnancy without being totally obsessed with positioning, but at the same time, trying to make choices that will encourage a head-down, not to mention, anterior baby.

[Altair]

I'm obsessed with positioning too.  I was last pregnancy, and he was always ROA, and this baby seems to be as well, but she also flips to transverse and all over the place and is harder to pinpoint where she is.