Bitter Sushi Ladies - December 2011

[wissa19]

Welcome to the December 2011 Thread

This is a thread for those who have been TTC for a long time, whether 6 months, 12 months, or more. At this point many of us are at or past 1 or 2 years, many have had losses, many are dealing with various forms of infertility, and some are just in a waiting period until they can TTC again.

The name? Well, all things considered we tend to be a little bitter sometimes. So read with care. And due to everything, our emotions run a little raw like sushi. Too many cycles of BFN and CD1 sushi & sake to console ourselves. This TTC business is something that seems to "just happen" for so many...but we just can't seem to get it right. So this is where we can be together, share and express anything.

Current Bitter Sushi Ladies
 

cbaa2010

TTC # 1 since Oct 2010

enigo

Has one beautiful son, trying to conceive after three losses

Gemmine

me(27) & DH (28) TTC #1 since July 2010 with 1 loss April 2011 (5 weeks)

IsisandOsiris

TTC #1 since August 2009

jennabella

TTC #2 since July 2009, with a loss in February 2010 and a loss in July 2010

kittenbritches

TTC #3 since May 2010

kparker

TTC #1 since 9/08 with male factor, IUI #4 ???

 lilmom

36, TTC #2 for 2 years with PCOS and rarely ovulating

littlest birds

TTC for 16+ months after VR

Objet_Trouve

TTC #1 since Jan 2010 with PCOS

rcr

TTC since December 2007 with 1 failed IVF, 5 failed injectable IUIs, and now on to 2nd IVF in Jan 2012. Trying to keep hope alive.

SkeeMama

TTC since end of '06. Last loss in Sept. 2011. Waiting on tests
Smilesarefree

36 year old mom of one wonderful dd trying for another since April 2010

Sourire

TTC #1 since August 2010

Wissa19

Wissa19 (33), DH (39) sweet buddy (12/07), TTC #2 since 06/09

yoyonana

34 , DH 31, TTC for 3 years, done all kinds of tests, unexplained infertilitty

In our thoughts, on hold, and/or waiting

milk8shake

 TTC#1 since April 2009 - taking a much needed break after five losses - saga to be continued mid 2012

AGreenMum10

silverbird

- ttc #1 since June 2010, after a two year delay for illness. Husband passed away 5/25/11

mi_dawn -

lost baby William (born still 4/09) and two m/c in 09.

BSL BFPs!!! Stick little babies, stick, stick, stick...

monkeyscience - due 8/2012

bootsvalentine - due 8/2012

kinza - due 7/2012

calycanth - due 6/23/11

LessTravaledBy - due 6/24/12

CA Country Girl - due 6/26/12

Praha - due 6/11/12

Sweetest77 - due 5/20/12

TandN - due 5/17/12

Kyamo - due 3/7/2012

MommyMatsumoto - due 1/2012

Emaya - due 1/2012

Sweet.Bee - due 1/15/2012

 Rachel88 - due 11/20/2011

Waiting on an update...

BSL BABIES

lavatea -   baby boy 12/11/11

Code Name Mama -Ailia Genevieve 11/24/11

miriam bat avraham- Talulah and Susannah 11/11/11

grahnola mum/GMUM - baby girl 10/6/11

Jane -  baby boy 9/30/11

borobaby - River Ann 9/19/11

justthinkin - baby boy 8/27/11

Maurine - Phin 7/20/11

Tear 78 - Anika 7/15/11

slylives - Cameron 6/15/11

kalamos23 - baby boy 4/28/11

xtara2003x - Emerson Rae 4/27/11

jenniferadurham - Ryan born 3/28/11

Nanette56 - Tristan and Cael born 3/18/11

finnegansmom - Henry born 2/11

jessica_s - Asher Kingston 1/20/11

LINK to our graduates thread - Winter 2011/2010 Edition!

Please let the threadkeeper (wissa19) know if your info needs to be updated.

New ladies are always welcome, but please join with care.

Please put all notes for changes or additions to this post in bold! Thank you!!

Edited by wissa19 - 12/19/11 at 4:24pm

[wissa19]

I know I said I wouldn't going to be the thread keeper.  However, I couldn't stand for the thread to disappear.  I will be a "silent" keeper this month.

So, I thought we could do an infertility take on "on you might be a redneck if"

Here's mine....You might have infertility if you check the expiration date on pregnancy tests before you buy them.

[wissa19]

Last thing - Kinza - Woohoo Twins!!! So very happy for you!! Will be hoping and praying for an easy pregnancy and great delivery.

[PoorUglyHappy]

I'm still here...

From my other thread stalking, I know we have a couple members with good news to share, so come out with it already!
 

[toothfairy2be]

Thank you Wissa, i hope you will change your mind about being silent, i will so miss your stories and opinions and hopefullness. I want good things for you and to share them with you when it happens. Also, i just legit LoL at your redneck quote...

You might have infertility if you know your CD but not the date..

[skeemama]

Please add me to your thread.

We have been TTC since the end of 06, 

most recent loss was end of September.

Doing a whole protocol of TCM & supplements.

Now, we are waiting to test...

days seem to drag on this side of O...

Thank you for being the keeper, albeit silent, sounds like I should stalk your history....

[rcr]

you might have IF if you are sick and tired of having sex with your husband.

you might have IF if you have jumped ship from all the crunchy natural stuff like Maca and herbs, and moved on to shots and interventions.

Thanks for keeping the thread alive, Wissa.

Welcome Skee.

As for my blurb, it looks like my IVF will be in Jan, not Dec, so you can change that if you want.

[wissa19]

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there semed to be no hope at all."
-- Dale Carnegie

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."
--Thomas A. Edison

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."  --Newt Gingrich 

"Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 2oth."
--Julie Andrews

    "Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles."
-- Samuel Smiles

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

 Even impossible says "i m possible"

--My favorite quote taken from an annomyous woman with IF -

"I know God would not give me anything that I could not handle, I just wish he would not trust me so much".

--Thought we might all need a little inspiration--

Very funny Cbaa & RCR on the IF if's.

Welcome Skee -- May your stay be short.

[Gemmine]

I lol'd at cbaa's since that very thing happened to me today at the doctor.

Met with OB today. She had my blood drawn for hormone testing, gave me paperwork to schedule DH's semen analysis, and we scheduled the HSG for this Friday. Well, originally I was supposed to call my next CD1 since it has to be between CD7-10 but I got crazy-eyed and said I'moncycleday6nowcanwedoitthiscyclekthanks and got it scheduled! Those who have been through it, how painful was it?

wissa: I mostly lurk here, post occasionally but I do hope you're not a silent threadkeeper. I enjoy your posts and everyone's here.

Milk: Please de-lurk :-)

[LessTraveledBy]

Okay ladies... I guess I lived here for long enough that I feel the need to say something about the recent happenings... It was a sad thing to witness.

I think it was just a good example of how easily we get hurt because, truly, we cannot understand another human being until be have been through the same thing. One of the endless topics here has been the dumb things people have said to us. Many of those things, no matter how bad they felt, were meant to be encouraging and nice. The person simply did not understand how the words would be received. I think the same is to be expected here: An older lady cannot know what it is like to be young and to feel defective. A young woman cannot know what it is like to be near the childbearing years, in other words, to truly be close to being without hope. The same way those of us with kids don't know what it feels like to not have any (unless someone had been infertile also before kids), and similarly those without kids cannot know what it is like to hope for a sibling for one's child. Some of these situations probably do hurt more than others, but I suppose the amount mainly depends on the person going though the hard time. Who should be hurting the most does not really matter, does it...

While I can only speak for myself, I do think people who are suffering can have the tendency to be very sensitive to certain things, and to take things the wrong way. In that case even a nice comment can be turned into "You don't seem to think I have the right to my sorrow." I know at least I lived years, always expecting to hear the wrong stuff come out of people's minds. Sometimes it happened, other times not. Sometimes it was probably my hurt that made the nice comment into something quite the opposite.

AFM, the foster baby left and we are now waiting to see if she will come back for some time or not. Meanwhile, I am trying to figure out whether we want to accept another child or if this is it with fostering for us. I was really sick for half of the time the baby was here and it was very hard. Yet, it was blessed and we really miss the baby. I will be 12 weeks pregnant in a couple of days. My body is not handling things very well (infertility, hypothyroidism, weight gain, etc.), so I am assuming this will be our second and last baby. I am quite okay with that, surprisingly, as this is just so hard on my body. I suppose I have already done the work of letting go of  my previous hopes and dreams, so it is not too hard to accept now. More than anything, both our children -however things may continue with this pregnancy- truly feel like miracles to me. 

[Emaya]

Beautifully written, LTB, thank you for taking the time to express so simply and well what I was feeling - but unable to organize into words - about the recent BSL difficulties. This has been such a wonderful place, folks, please make sure it continues. As a long-time-lurker before my first posting, I'd like to tell you other lurkers out there to step forward and join in -- bring new life to the BSL thread. I was shy at first, but you just have to make room for yourself.

Gemmie, good luck with the HSG today. I'm sure you've found that women have reported wildly differing experiences of how much it hurts. I found it to be only slightly uncomfortable. I'm sure you've also read that there's a slight increase in fertility in the 3 months after the proceedure. I remember those three months of BFNs being horrible -- I had promised myself not to get hopeful about that slight increase in chances, but somehow did anyway. Turns out I got my BFP on the fourth month after the HSG, but I don't think it had anything to do with it as the tubes looked clear during the proceedure. Let us know how it goes!

[PoorUglyHappy]

You might have IF if you are first jealous of all the preggo 17 y.o. girls in your OBGYN's waiting room then you quickly switch to daydreaming about asking them if you could adopt their baby.  (Happened to me yesterday)

You might have IF if that baby sweater you started knitting for "a friend" is still not finished 3 years later.

[CA Country Girl]

Hello ladies. Happy Holidays to all.

LTB- you said what I was thinking so much more eloquently.  I was sad about the hurt feelings here, even though I understood completely.  I did not know what to say to help and not just make feelings more raw.  We are tender here, and I believe most of the time have found it to be a blessing to have the other BSL ladies to talk to.  Sometimes the sensitivity can not help spilling over.  I also second Emaya's call to lurkers.  I am so glad that I joined the BSL thread.  It gave me such a feeling of comradery to talk to ladies who had been struggling to conceive.  Please keep it going and keep being sisters for each other (remember sisters do hurt each other's feelings from time to time).  

AFM, like LTB, I am about to reach 12 weeks day after tomorrow!  We shared the news with our 5 year old last night.  She has been longing for this for awhile, so she is excited.  I am finally starting to share with other family members as well, and I am getting my energy back just as the semester ends and work is cooling down for a few weeks.  I will be 36 on Friday, but hubby works weekends, so we will be laying low.  Also,  I *think* I have felt a little movement the last few evenings.  It is early, but I don't think I am imaging it.

Hugs and so muchto all you ladies.

[wissa19]

Congratulations to lavatea and her beautiful baby boy. !!! :)

Congratulations to bootsvalentine and monkeyscience on their December BFPs!!! 

Come on BSL we need more good news!!

LTB & CountryGirl - Hope all continues to go well with your pregnancies. 

[Gemmine]

Hi everyone! Hope everyone is doing ok.

Emaya: It wasn't that bad! Yes, the stuff I read about pain was all over the place. It was uncomfortable for sure, and hurt when they put in the catheter/dye, but it was over quickly. Hoping I'm included in that magical fertility increase for 3 cycles after HSG! Ha.

[PoorUglyHappy]

It sure is quiet these days on this thread!    Give me some updates everyone!  I am a super bitter BSL so I need you all to keep me hopeful.

rcr - can you give me a brief overview of your journey?  I haven't been around for long so I feel like I missed your story.

Gemmine - What were the results of your HSG?  

Welcome Skeemama!  This thread seems to have had some good luck for people TTC for a long time, so hopeful you catch some of that baby dust.

AFM, just finished with AF = Drinking my grapefruit juice and buying pineapples.

[Gemmine]

PoorUglyHappy: I'm a bit extra-bitter too so I need more happy posts! After the HSG they said my tubes were clear! I had spotting and saw some small clots when I wiped so I'm guessing the HSG actually did clean out some stuff. You just reminded me I need to get a pineapple; I should O tomorrow. Does the grapefruit juice work for you with EWCM?

[rcr]

Originally Posted by PoorUglyHappy 

rcr - can you give me a brief overview of your journey?  I haven't been around for long so I feel like I missed your story.

Sure. Sorry. I am so rarely around here I guess I forget that there is enough turnover that most people don't remember me when I do pop in. I have been TTC for 4 years - since Dec 2007. I started on the one thread, then the nursing mamas thread, then here, and then I moved on to the IVF and infertility threads. I mostly hang out on the IVF thread. I have done it all -  IVF once, 5 cycles of IUIs - all with injectibles, supplements, m/c, etc.. Now I am on to my second IVF cycle. DH has male factor, and my eggs suck. I am feeling confident that it will work out soon though, and I am a LOT less bitter than I used to be. I took a summer break, went to Australia with DS, didn't think about ttc (too much), and now I have renewed confidence. I left this thread when I started doing IVF, and I was less and less bitter, despite being the oldest member of the thread at this point (?). One person that I know of, that I joined this thread with in 2007 is now pregnant with her second. That kinda depressing, I guess. But it is nice to see that people do move on, so in a way Monkey's post about who was left from when she joined made me happy that people do seem to get pregnant and move on here, but also sad that I am not one of those people. I am fortunate to have good fertility insurance coverage, otherwise I would have pursued adoption a long time ago.  When I started TTC I was 4 years younger, so I am fighting age also at this point (I am 37). I get four IVF tries under my insurance, and i am saving the last one or two (?) for donor eggs. I have a DS, who was actually a mistake and conceived when DH and I were living in different states, and it was the only time we had sex in 6 months. Go figure. I'm not all that spiritual, but I do believe that there is a baby in me (actually 2, hopefully), just waiting for the right time.

[skeemama]

not my month.

Ready for 2012.

[PoorUglyHappy]

Gemmine:  I am glad to hear your HSG was clear.  Now you get 3 months of increased fertility!   I think it's like a roto-rooter for the tubes.   As far as the EWCM/grapefruit juice goes, I am not sure that it helps but I love the juice and it gives me an excuse to drink it everyday. 

rcr - wow, you have truly been through it!  It is great that you have IF infertility coverage.  My insurance is supposed to cover a lot of things, but they are very free with their "reject" stamp.  :)  So with your two future babies, are you hoping to knock it out with twins in the next IVF cycle?   Do you have the dr implant more than two embryos?

Skeemama - did the witch show?  Boooo! to her!

Wissa- give us some updates!

AFM - just 18 hours til Christmas break, I am more excited about the time off this year than the holidays themselves.