So I packed a suitcase grabed my kids and left him! Now what? - Page 2

[newmomlearning]

Just wanted to reply & support you. 

You said, "Thank you for reading and listening to me, no one else does..."  I want you to consider those words.  It took me a LOONNNGGG time to realize that I was telling people what I needed & it didn't get me anywhere.  Finally, it dawned on me that I... my own self ... wasn't even listening & doing anything about it.  Then, I moved into action..  and things are working out.

You listened to yourself!!!  You did it!!  You left!! It was unbearable to your soul & you left!!  You knew this man would lead the lives of you & your children to ruin & you Left!!

You are brave & strong.  You listened, which is the most important thing.

About your dog, you made the only decision you could at the time.  You did the right thing to get your children & self to safety.  You need to forgive yourself for leaving your dog behind.

Could you arrange to have the local animal officer pick-up the dog as an unwanted animal, can you prove ownership? 

You also need to weigh whether this is a good move, you need to ensure the safety of your children.

Edited by newmomlearning - 1/1/12 at 8:10pm

[Mom31]

how are things going mama?

[sahmof2girls]

[DogwoodFairy]

I want to weigh in on this, because I faced a similar situation 3 years ago. I left a controlling, manipulative man, took my son, and drove across the country to stay with family. I can't type out everything here that I want to say to the OP, but I will say this - get a lawyer, and get one fast. Your ex will strike, and he will strike hard if he's as much a control freak as he sounds. If he files for custody or takes you to court, you will be in a bad position. Call legal aid or whatever organization you can (women's shelters often have legal resources if you let them know you are leaving an abusive relationship). I will weigh in with more later. Please be well and keep yourself and your kids away from him. And not having his name on the birth certificate does NOT mean he gets out of child support, either. 

[sahmof2girls]

Manzanita, OP said that her dp does not have any legal rights to the kids...

[majazama]

just want to commend you for getting out of the bad relationship. I am not as strong as you and went back to an abusive relationship again and again and again. But it seems now that it is over for good, I live happily on my own with my three kids.

[Mom31]

majazama- good for you it is common to go back- I know I did. But good you finally broke free!