toys for the onlies vs siblings

[meemee]

i just realized that there is an inherent difference in the kind of toys we buy for our kids depending on family situation.

i notice dd and her bf - both onlies and both 9 have very different independent play toys than say their other friends who have siblings and so its more a teamwork set of toys.

i am not saying that a child with sibling never gets an independent toy or vice versa - but overall i find a difference in the kind of toys a child has being defined by family size. 

i wonder if you have a family with kids in the neighborhood who come over and play very often if that makes a difference. 

however family 'toys' are different. 

do you notice this around you guys too?

[FrugalGranolaMom]

This isn't something I've noticed among my circle of friends/family, although the kids are several years younger than your DD. Maybe it will change as they all get older. What specific types of toys are you referring to?

[nextcommercial]

I've noticed this too.  

But, as a kid, I played alone most of the time.  I would go in my room for hours and set up entire playset for myself that would stay up for days.  So, I was given mostly solo-play toys.  I had building toys too, but not many.

[One_Girl]

I haven't noticed that at all but that may be because I am not sure what a child could own that would be purely for independent play aside from legislation and puzzles (which are standard kid toys around here). What kinds of toy differences are you noticing?

[pianojazzgirl]

I think I know what you mean.  I'm an only, but I have 2 kids, and I do see a difference.  There are some toys I might buy for dd (that I know I would have enjoyed at her age), but I choose to give something else instead because most of the toys get played with by both kids at once. 

My kids end up getting a lot of stuff to share (big sets of Playmobil or Lego for ex).  Because it's for both of them they get a bigger set than I would buy for just one of them.  They have just a few types of toys that they really play with, but they have a lot of each of those types of toys (like Playmo, lego and wooden train set).  If I only had dd I bet she'd be getting a lot more "older kid" toys, but because she has a 4yo brother I tend to get more stuff that appeals to both ages.  I also am holding off on getting her any kind of electronics (gaming system, camera, etc) because I am not prepared to get her brother anything like that and I know that a) he'd be really upset if only she got one, and b) he'd probably end up playing with it sometimes and in his hands it'd be a lot more likely to get broken.

[34me]

I can see this as a "passing down" thing too.  Until my oldest was done growing she never had her "own bike"  She got it first but it was always a gender neutral color because she would be passing it down to her brothers.

[JudiAU]

I am curious what solo play and together play toys actually are. Everything we play with seems to be together play toys whether there is one or four people involved.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

I am curious what solo play and together play toys actually are. Everything we play with seems to be together play toys whether there is one or four people involved.

I guess solo toys might be craft kits (to make one particular item), one-person games (electronic or not) or activity books, equipment like bikes or scooters... those kinds of things.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

I am curious what solo play and together play toys actually are. Everything we play with seems to be together play toys whether there is one or four people involved.

For me, it was dolls, or play sets.  I loved tiny rubber animals, and tiny people.  I would set up little villages all the time.  (I reenacted Little House on the Prairie).   We had Lincoln Logs, but I stole them to use in my playsets.

I had stuffed animals that I played with every day, but my brother had no interest in at all.  If my brother showed an interest in my stuffed animals, it was only to tie a rope around it's neck and swing it in circles until I cried.

We had hotwheel tracks.  (MILES of it) and we spent several winter days and nights playing with that together.   Sleds and riding toys were non solo toys.  

[Polliwog]

I can honestly say that family size (two kids but we're waiting for new foster baby/toddler) doesn't factor into what I buy my kids.

[onlyzombiecat]

I don't feel there is a huge difference in actual toys but maybe the effort to promote independent play is different.

We have always made it a point to stock our home with things dd can enjoy independently. Having games and activities easily enjoyed by only one person makes it possible for dd to enjoy her toys pretty often. I feel the biggest difference is that those with multiple children or people who have a lot of visiting kids don't deliberately plan for independent play as much. Parents of multiple kids do often buy things that might be used alone but I feel it is more interest based and less so the kids will be able to play solo. 

Toys that are not easy for solo play- most sports equipment, any type of game that requires more than one player, a seesaw, a long jump rope

Toys that can easily be used for solo play- art or craft materials, puzzles, blocks or building toys, dolls/action figures, play dough, stuffed animals, cars or trains, some computer or video games, bike or ride on toys, dress up clothes, swing set, sand box, pogo stick, science experiment kits

[meemee]

hmm its let me see if i can explain right.

the focus in solo houses are toys that one child can happily play with. the focus in sibling houses are toys that can be played together. it isnt that the parents are trying to encourage independent play. perhaps it might be an subtle reason. but basically you are buying things that your child can play by themselves.

its mostly about buying by itself or in teams. not specifically any one kind of toy. like legos for instance. in one friend's house all his legos are single project legos that he builds. detailed difficult ones. actually its pretty much what pianojazzgirl pointed out. but at the sibling house the lego set is larger and not that difficult.

in solo houses there is usually one of the toy. say one set of pollypockets, or a smaller set of polly pockets.

in one house they have a tonne of dolls but not many accessories. the other house has some dolls and more accessories too.  

the solo child has a simple tricycle, a smaller red wagon, one set of baseball bats, mits... the sibling family has a dual tricycle where another child could stand in the back, a larger or a wagon that can seat 2, and more sports toys for 2. 

also there is more of the same toy or its a larger collection so more than one child can play. in solo houses too i find lots of variety of different types of toys. i dont find that variety in sibling houses. or obviously there is more of the same that the solo child likes. for instance the solo child who loves sea creatures has a huge collection of sea creature stuffed toys. there is no other kind of stuffed toy except for maybe a couple of easter bunnies.  but in sibling houses there are many pairs and more varieties of the stuffed toys. 

in fact as i think of this there is also a subtle difference in toys in families that have frequent visitors as opposed to not. i know i keep toys that i normally wouldnt have because i know dd's that friend enjoys it and when he is around dd enjoys it. i know dd's bf kept his play kitchen much longer than he wanted to coz while he was done playing with it by himself he enjoyed when dd was over and they played restaurant together. 

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by meemee 
in fact as i think of this there is also a subtle difference in toys in families that have frequent visitors as opposed to not.

Yeah, we have kept so many toddler and preschooler toys because of our friends who have kids in that age-range.

[Polliwog]

Originally Posted by meemee 

hmm its let me see if i can explain right.

the focus in solo houses are toys that one child can happily play with. the focus in sibling houses are toys that can be played together. it isnt that the parents are trying to encourage independent play. perhaps it might be an subtle reason. but basically you are buying things that your child can play by themselves.

its mostly about buying by itself or in teams. not specifically any one kind of toy. like legos for instance. in one friend's house all his legos are single project legos that he builds. detailed difficult ones. actually its pretty much what pianojazzgirl pointed out. but at the sibling house the lego set is larger and not that difficult.

in solo houses there is usually one of the toy. say one set of pollypockets, or a smaller set of polly pockets.

in one house they have a tonne of dolls but not many accessories. the other house has some dolls and more accessories too.  

the solo child has a simple tricycle, a smaller red wagon, one set of baseball bats, mits... the sibling family has a dual tricycle where another child could stand in the back, a larger or a wagon that can seat 2, and more sports toys for 2. 

also there is more of the same toy or its a larger collection so more than one child can play. in solo houses too i find lots of variety of different types of toys. i dont find that variety in sibling houses. or obviously there is more of the same that the solo child likes. for instance the solo child who loves sea creatures has a huge collection of sea creature stuffed toys. there is no other kind of stuffed toy except for maybe a couple of easter bunnies.  but in sibling houses there are many pairs and more varieties of the stuffed toys. 

in fact as i think of this there is also a subtle difference in toys in families that have frequent visitors as opposed to not. i know i keep toys that i normally wouldnt have because i know dd's that friend enjoys it and when he is around dd enjoys it. i know dd's bf kept his play kitchen much longer than he wanted to coz while he was done playing with it by himself he enjoyed when dd was over and they played restaurant together. 

I guess that I just don't shop like the people you know. I buy for the individual children who live here and their interests. I don't buy more or less of anything because I have two kids. My kids like to play together but they also like to play apart. We don't have a large amount of any particular toys, except Magna-Tiles because they are awesome and I started collecting sets of those when I was teaching.

As for the part that I bolded, I think that has nothing to do with having siblings. I think you are trying to create a connection that doesn't generally exist.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

As for the part that I bolded, I think that has nothing to do with having siblings. I think you are trying to create a connection that doesn't generally exist.

that was just one example. i definitely think there is a difference in toys and it makes sense. dd has both onlies and sibling friends. and if its not something you notice its hard to notice. its very subtle - not obvious at all. plus it is all similar toys, so its hard to see. your house may have both kinds of toys, but in single houses you will see more 'single' games, than community games. or toys. or other things. maybe i should do a poll here. 
 

its v. apparent in a 13 year old's house. 

[Tjej]

I don't know that many only kids, but I don't see the differences you have said either.  I see differences in toys by the wealth of the family, their extended family size, their tolerance for clutter, etc. etc. 

I think that only kids do tend to get the toys they particularly choose more often, because siblings end up playing with each other's toys as well.  My DS probably would never have enjoyed Polly Pocket if it weren't for having an older sister.  I can see how sports equipment might be different, but otherwise I don't see it.  Perhaps the differences are more striking when children are older and I'm not there yet.

Tjej

[Polliwog]

I agree with your list. I'd also add in gender of the siblings, age of the siblings, size of home, parental interest in a specific toy, etc.

Originally Posted by Tjej 

I don't know that many only kids, but I don't see the differences you have said either.  I see differences in toys by the wealth of the family, their extended family size, their tolerance for clutter, etc. etc. 

Maybe because you are studying anthropology, you are seeing a correlation that isn't actually there. For example, my kids have a big bin of Legos instead of a bunch of complicated (or easy) sets. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have two kids. It's because I value open-ended play, "I" have ADHD and complicated directions overwhelm "me," we have very little disposable income (which has nothing do with family size, we don't have storage for big completed projects to live, etc. Just one example of many.

Quote:

its mostly about buying by itself or in teams. not specifically any one kind of toy. like legos for instance. in one friend's house all his legos are single project legos that he builds. detailed difficult ones. actually its pretty much what pianojazzgirl pointed out. but at the sibling house the lego set is larger and not that difficult.

in solo houses there is usually one of the toy. say one set of pollypockets, or a smaller set of polly pockets.

in one house they have a tonne of dolls but not many accessories. the other house has some dolls and more accessories too.  

[pianojazzgirl]

I do think that sometimes younger sibs pick up interests from their older sibs that they might never have graduated towards if they were onlies.  I see that in my house, anyway.  For ex, I tend to buy more open-ended "gender neutral" kind of toys, however dd (7yo) gets given things like Barbies, Littlest Petshop, "kid" makeup, etc from friends at her b-days.  She loves that stuff.  And now so does ds (4yo).  I just don't gravitate towards that kind of stuff at all so it's nothing I would have chosen as gifts for her (unless she really really wanted it), and likewise it's the kind of stuff I wouldn't have gotten for ds.  But ds, being a boy, probably wouldn't have been given that stuff from friends at b-day parties either.  So if it weren't for having a big sister he might never have had any interest in vet Barbie, "real" makeup, or any of the other stuff like that that's on his Christmas wish list.  I'm sure this happens between same-gendered sibs too (transfer of interests), but it's maybe more obvious in my example.

meemee - I think what you notice in toy differences might apply more in families where the kids are (relatively) closely spaced in age.  When there's a larger gap (like with my best friends kids who are 7.5 years apart) I don't really see it.

[One_Girl]

I think the differences you listed are more likely due to the type of okay kids enjoy. My DD values open ended play and even at nine she won't use boxed kits the way they are intended. It probably also has a lot to do with how many kids come over, what peers have, how much parents play with their kids and finances. If siblings influence decisions it is probably in regards to allowing small toys in the house when the sibling is very little, and even then I think the decision would be more likely to depend on whether kids are allowed personal possessions and space of their own or not.

[meemee]

yup. yup. there are many factors involved. 

all the kids that we have play dates with all have their own bedroom. some prefer to play in their room usually, some like to bring their toys out from the bedroom into the living room.