Where do you sleep with your baby? « Back to Group Discussions

[jill the pill]

Just wondering if anyone is having the same trouble I'm having at night with their babies.  Audrey won't sleep laying flat on her back in her cradle, I've tried her swing, in bed with me, etc.  We end up sleeping on the couch with her on my chest and I know that is not the safest place for her to sleep.   After a month of this I am so tired and frustrated and I'm not really getting any sleep. DH and DD sleep in my room and I feel like I can't sleep in there with the baby because she grunts and groans all night long and they need their sleep too.   Any ideas to get her to sleep without being directly on me?  She sleeps during the day in her swing just fine, it's just at night she won't sleep by herself.

[IwannaBanRN]

That's odd that she won't co-sleep with you if she likes being on your chest too. I wish I knew what to tell you.

[MrsKatie]

Ugh, how frustrating!  I'm sure you've tried this already, but won't she nurse to sleep?  My Katie falls asleep while we are nursing in the side-lying position... the only issue there is that I often need to wake her to burp her, but then I'll put her back on the nipple for comfort and she'll nurse for a minute or 2 then go back to sleep.  She sleeps mostly on her side tucked up against me, often with her face resting against my breast.

I have a grunty sleeper too so I can relate to issues with other kids needing sleep.  Can you get a white noise machine in your room that will drown out the grunty baby noises, so everyone can sleep in the same room?

[jill the pill]

She does nurse to sleep but as soon as I try to put her down her eyes pop open.  I know once I can nurse side-lying It will help since I won't have to move her.  My nipples are still so sore I can't nurse her that way yet...I've tried.  White noise machine is a good suggestion!

 

Originally Posted by MrsKatie 

Ugh, how frustrating!  I'm sure you've tried this already, but won't she nurse to sleep?  My Katie falls asleep while we are nursing in the side-lying position... the only issue there is that I often need to wake her to burp her, but then I'll put her back on the nipple for comfort and she'll nurse for a minute or 2 then go back to sleep.  She sleeps mostly on her side tucked up against me, often with her face resting against my breast.

I have a grunty sleeper too so I can relate to issues with other kids needing sleep.  Can you get a white noise machine in your room that will drown out the grunty baby noises, so everyone can sleep in the same room?

[Abraisme]

One thing that I have noticed with my babies is that they tend to get congested at night.  A congested baby is going to sleep much better elevated on your chest rather than laying down.  If she's grunting because it's congested you might try to clean her nose with some saline/breastmilk neti-pot style (with a nasal aspirator or nosefrida).  That, in combination with a wedged pillow was the only way that my DD1 would sleep very well at night.

Last night Coralie started to get congested too.  Every 1-2 hours I had to pick her up so that her nose would drain and she could fall back to sleep.  It seems to be a normal thing for newborns really.

[MrsKatie]

Originally Posted by jill the pill 

She does nurse to sleep but as soon as I try to put her down her eyes pop open.  I know once I can nurse side-lying It will help since I won't have to move her.  My nipples are still so sore I can't nurse her that way yet...I've tried.  White noise machine is a good suggestion!

 

Yeah, the side-lying thing is super hard to master!  We're not totally there yet.  We have some painless nights, then some nights where I take her off the nipple and re-latch her a thousand times and I'm STILL in pain.  I have to admit that many a night, I get her in a position where it still hurts but not too badly, and just let her nurse cause I'm so sleepy and I just want her to fall asleep.  We're getting better at side-lying and I'm sure it'll be second nature before I know it... hopefully for both of us!

[jbk21]

Dylan sleeps on my chest or kind of off to one side.  I am propped up with pillows.  I am so exhausted that I sleep fine like that, but I am sometimes really sore in my back or hips in the morning.  I don't know if we could get him to sleep on his back or not.  He does fine on his back sometimes, or swaddled, but he really prefers to stomach sleep.  His older brother was the same way.  For DS1 we had him sleep in his carseat (he liked feeling tucked up a bit- a swing would be similar) and he did that until he was 4 months old.  At that point we felt it was fine for him to sleep on his tummy since he could roll over anyway.  He would nap on his belly during the day though.  Dylan also naps on his belly during the day, and I am fine with that since I am right next to him (I'll lay him down on the couch while I am eating or on the computer, or he will sleep on me or DH.)  At night I am more nervous about him sleeping on his belly NOT on me because I know that if he is on me and can hear my heartbeat and feel my chest rising that it will keep his respiration regular.  But I feel anxious about him not sleeping on me, even if it is right next to me.  He has good head control already so I don't know if I am worried for nothing.  I just like to be as safe as possible.  I could try getting him to a deep sleep and then laying him on his back, but I also just want to do what is fastest in the middle of the night, you know?  That usually means just having him sleep on my chest....

I'd second a white noise machine- though you might be surprised by how well your older child sleeps through baby grunting- my DS1 is a light sleeper and has never woken up through Dylan's crying, and the doors are all open and the rooms are right next to each other (our house is 900 sq.ft)  so I know it carries into his room.  You could try it first and if it is a problem then work out a solution?  

[MrsKatie]

J - KJ (for "Katie Jr" - dad started calling her this and now everyone does, so I might as well start, too!) has had excellent head control from the start, too, but I won't let her sleep on her belly, either (unless she's sleeping on my or DH's chest).  I mean, there's no way I could sleep if I knew she were on her belly on the bed, I'd worry too much, anyway.  Likely we are being "overly" cautious, but that's how moms should be, right?

[jbk21]

Agreed.  Once he can roll I'll be cool with it but I just don't know if I can do it until then.  I can handle 4 months of crappy sleep haha.  He probably sleeps better on me anyway, so whatever.  I'll take longer stretches over my own comfort.  
 

Originally Posted by MrsKatie 

J - KJ (for "Katie Jr" - dad started calling her this and now everyone does, so I might as well start, too!) has had excellent head control from the start, too, but I won't let her sleep on her belly, either (unless she's sleeping on my or DH's chest).  I mean, there's no way I could sleep if I knew she were on her belly on the bed, I'd worry too much, anyway.  Likely we are being "overly" cautious, but that's how moms should be, right?

[Paigekitten]

We've got side lying nursing down more or less, but Éowyn will only sleep if she has the nipple in her mouth, or if it's touching her face.  Hopefully she'll grow out of that.  Today she stayed asleep for about 5 minutes while I got up to use the bathroom.  It was awesome!

The first couple nights my two year old woke up from the crying, but now she sleeps through it.  My older daughter sleeps through anything once she's actually asleep.

[KayPea]

When your baby is sleeping on your chest, are you lying flat on your back? Or are you propped up on pillows? Having baby sleep on me makes me nervous, but I think we have to go that way since we are getting so little sleep around here. Oren wakes up immediately when we put him down, and he can bust out of any swaddle I've put him in. So mostly DH and I take turns holding him in the rocking chair and watching TV. It's awful. I can't side-lie with a newborn because I have enormous soft smothery breasts, and I am used to popping a boob in and going immediately back to sleep with DD, so I know I'd risk smothering the baby if I tried sidelying now. I miss it though. 

I'm trying hard not to compare my kids, but I can't help but think fondly back to my DD, who was sleeping a 4-hour stretch by this time. And a 6-hour stretch by 6 weeks. Oh that would be heavenly. 

[jill the pill]

I've been sleeping on the couch with DD on my chest laying flat on my back.  Is that bad?  Its the only way she will sleep right now.  I tried climbing into bed with my DH and DD1 last night with the baby and she grunted and groaned and kept everyone awake.  Needless to say I ended up on the couch again but we all got some sleep.  I know this won't last forever and I guess we all have to do what we can to get as much sleep as possible.  I tried side lying last night and our latch hurt so much I had to get up and nurse her sitting up. 
 

Originally Posted by KayPea 

When your baby is sleeping on your chest, are you lying flat on your back? Or are you propped up on pillows? Having baby sleep on me makes me nervous, but I think we have to go that way since we are getting so little sleep around here. Oren wakes up immediately when we put him down, and he can bust out of any swaddle I've put him in. So mostly DH and I take turns holding him in the rocking chair and watching TV. It's awful. I can't side-lie with a newborn because I have enormous soft smothery breasts, and I am used to popping a boob in and going immediately back to sleep with DD, so I know I'd risk smothering the baby if I tried sidelying now. I miss it though. 

I'm trying hard not to compare my kids, but I can't help but think fondly back to my DD, who was sleeping a 4-hour stretch by this time. And a 6-hour stretch by 6 weeks. Oh that would be heavenly. 

[EonJourney]

I am sleeping on a twin bed with a baby on each side. If one wakes up before the other I will nurse sidelying. If they both wake up at the same time I sit up and feed them both on my nursing pillow. They are both so congested that nursing at night is challenging right now. I am getting more sleep now than compared to being pregnant so I am doing ok. My DS is upset though that I am not cuddling next to him which is tough on both of us.

[seraf]

The way I got used to nursing side lying with this baby was to latch him on and then lay down and move him into position still latched on. 

My guy grunts lots but the kids got used to it very quickly and they sleep through anything now. My daughter sleeps about 7 feet from him. 

In answer to your question, we sleep on the bed. 

[IwannaBanRN]

I've just been able to have him latch on laying down. I did it with DD and it was amazing to not have to sit and nurse. I hate sitting and nursing. It's much more peaceful to lay and nurse.

[Code Name Mama]

Haven't read all of the replies, but I'm having the "congested baby" problems - Ailia can only sleep if she's slightly elevated. We also were stuck on the couch for a week or so, but now I'm able to be back in bed with pillows under my arms - so she's kind of nestled up on my chest with my arm under her for support. Sometimes she'll sleep for awhile side lying - if I can get her into a deep sleep on her side with my arm underneath her, occasionally I can slip my arm back out.

[Mal85]

We're kind of at a crossroads right now with her night time sleep. We've had company in the last few days, so I think that has something to do with it. Our usual bedtime routine has been thrown off. I'm hoping we'll get back to it now that our company is gone. Greta seems to sleep better slightly propped up too, she's also a little congested. We're doing well with side-lying nursing. She can usually find it okay, sometimes I just have to turn on the light for a second to find her mouth when she's not quite awake. However, when she nurses lying down and goes right back to sleep laying flat, she ends up puking all over the place. Like enough to need to change her clothes and usually my shirt too. Then, she's wide awake and it takes a while to get her back to sleep. 

So, I had been putting her in our sleeper (I have one of those Rock 'N Play sleepers instead of a Pack 'n Play. it keeps her elevated). She was starting the night there and would go about 3-4 hours in that at the beginning of the night. I could sometimes put her back in it after she nursed the first time. The last few nights though, she has only wanted to be in bed with me. She will sleep right next to me instead of on me, but for some reason I'm more paranoid about co-sleeping this time and I'm not sleeping well since I'm constantly waking up to check on her. Last night, I was so tired I slept harder than I usually do. When I woke up, my back was to her and she rolled onto her belly with her face up against my back. She was fine, but I had absolutely no memory of rolling over, so it really worried me. Things like that make co-sleeping difficult for me...

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by KayPea 

When your baby is sleeping on your chest, are you lying flat on your back? Or are you propped up on pillows? Having baby sleep on me makes me nervous, but I think we have to go that way since we are getting so little sleep around here. Oren wakes up immediately when we put him down, and he can bust out of any swaddle I've put him in. So mostly DH and I take turns holding him in the rocking chair and watching TV. It's awful. I can't side-lie with a newborn because I have enormous soft smothery breasts, and I am used to popping a boob in and going immediately back to sleep with DD, so I know I'd risk smothering the baby if I tried sidelying now. I miss it though. 

I'm trying hard not to compare my kids, but I can't help but think fondly back to my DD, who was sleeping a 4-hour stretch by this time. And a 6-hour stretch by 6 weeks. Oh that would be heavenly. 

I am sort of propped up- I sleep with a pillow plus my boppy pillow on top of it.  So it's kind of like a huge travel pillow, you know?  I put one side over a shoulder so I can lay my head to the side on it, then I tuck the other side under my opposite shoulder so I'm not flat on my back but sort of propped a bit to one side as well.  It's really cozy!  I also have a pillow on either side, under each elbow and tucked under my sides so they don't slide out.  I ALSO have a pillow under my knees, or between my knees if I'm slightly to one side (my pelvis gives me huge issues if I don't have a pillow between my knees)  So in total I have 5 pillows!  Then he is on my chest or I slide him over a bit to one side- but my arms are propped up by those pillows so he's still basically on my chest just centered over one boob and I'm tilted a bit so his nose is facing the ceiling, can you imagine that?  This is hard to describe... But it works really well.  It's almost like sleeping in a recliner.  I don't like him lying next to me on the bed because it makes me nervous and we have a cushy mattress.  So I support him with my own body almost 100%.  That way I know if he moves or I move I would notice.  He's not laying on any pillows or anything, so I feel really comfortable with this arrangement.  He is gaining weight quickly though (10 lbs already at 2 weeks old!) so I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up.... 

Originally Posted by EonJourney 

I am sleeping on a twin bed with a baby on each side. If one wakes up before the other I will nurse sidelying. If they both wake up at the same time I sit up and feed them both on my nursing pillow. They are both so congested that nursing at night is challenging right now. I am getting more sleep now than compared to being pregnant so I am doing ok. My DS is upset though that I am not cuddling next to him which is tough on both of us.

You are supermom, seriously.  I'm so impressed!

Originally Posted by Mal85 

We're kind of at a crossroads right now with her night time sleep. We've had company in the last few days, so I think that has something to do with it. Our usual bedtime routine has been thrown off. I'm hoping we'll get back to it now that our company is gone. Greta seems to sleep better slightly propped up too, she's also a little congested. We're doing well with side-lying nursing. She can usually find it okay, sometimes I just have to turn on the light for a second to find her mouth when she's not quite awake. However, when she nurses lying down and goes right back to sleep laying flat, she ends up puking all over the place. Like enough to need to change her clothes and usually my shirt too. Then, she's wide awake and it takes a while to get her back to sleep. 

So, I had been putting her in our sleeper (I have one of those Rock 'N Play sleepers instead of a Pack 'n Play. it keeps her elevated). She was starting the night there and would go about 3-4 hours in that at the beginning of the night. I could sometimes put her back in it after she nursed the first time. The last few nights though, she has only wanted to be in bed with me. She will sleep right next to me instead of on me, but for some reason I'm more paranoid about co-sleeping this time and I'm not sleeping well since I'm constantly waking up to check on her. Last night, I was so tired I slept harder than I usually do. When I woke up, my back was to her and she rolled onto her belly with her face up against my back. She was fine, but I had absolutely no memory of rolling over, so it really worried me. Things like that make co-sleeping difficult for me...

Those rock n play things are awesome!  I almost bought one but we don't have enough space.  We have the snuggle nest that goes in the bed but we haven't really used it yet!  I think MrsKatie was asking about something that would keep KJ upright- the rock n play would be a great option!  I know what you mean about being nervous about co-sleeping.  I am a super light sleeper but I know there is always the chance that I would not notice if baby was snuggled face-in to me or something, so I am so cautious with our sleep arrangement.  I think it's good to be a little paranoid, lol!  Keeps us alert and aware....

[Mal85]

The Rock and Play actually doesn't take up too much space if you're interested. That's why I got one, really. Takes up a ton less space than a pack and play, and it folds up really easily. We've actually been folding it up and taking it everywhere with us. Every family gathering we have or just out visiting friends, it's so easy to take along. I highly recommend it!

I did do a little reading on them though and apparently the earlier models didn't have quite as much padding and some babies were getting flat head from the plastic shell behind the padding. I have a newer model and the issue is supposed to be taken care of, but being the paranoid mama I am, I still stuck a blanket in between the cover and the plastic shell so she has a buffer from the hard plastic. Personally, I think it would be a better product without the plastic shell entirely, but Greta likes it well enough that it hasn't kept me from using it by any means! They do meet all the same safety standards as bassinets, so they are approved for night time sleep. That makes me feel a lot better about it.

[Krystal323]

Ollie sleeps on his belly or side exclusively.  None of my kids would ever sleep on their backs, and honestly, I don't even think it's good for their development.  I mean, a baby on his belly will wake and the random arm/leg movements he makes will naturally evolve into crawling very quickly.  Kittens and horses don't sleep on their backs, soft organs exposed, essentially helpless like an upturned beetle, right?  Also, while I know there's risks no matter what position baby sleeps in, I personally feel like the ones associated with back-sleeping are more pressing.  Plus, belly sleepers often burp more easily and with less assistance, so it's good for babes with gas/reflux issues.

Ollie sleeps in his moses basket during the day (either on his belly or side), which is never any further than a few feet away from wherever I am.  We don't have anything else to put him down in like a swing or bouncer, so I'm glad he likes the basket!

At night, we either both fall asleep on our sides after side-lying nursing (I prop his head up on my arm, and kind of cradle him there)--or I have to sit/slouch while cradle-holding him so he's semi-upright.  The latter position allows me to scoot to where I'm laying down again without really disturbing him, and then he sleeps lying across my chest/belly.  I also sometimes sleep chest-to-chest with me on my back.  

For the first week or so I was just sleeping anywhere and everywhere I could--half-reclined on the couch, sitting up in bed, etc.  It was awful!