Empty-Nesting Moms? « Back to Group Discussions

[MariaMadly]

This is my first school year with both our kids out of the house.  DS1 (22) is in his junior year of college, and DS2 (almost 19) is almost through his first semester.  Both of them are on the other side of the country, so we went cold turkey -- no weekends home with a trunk full of laundry or even Thanksgiving.  They come home for a few weeks over winter break (end of next week, yippee!), we go out for the family weekend events once a year, and that's about it.  They have done or plan to do things away over the summer vacations, too, so they're pretty much living away even though they're still technically residents here.  And, yes, we kept their rooms "theirs."  I'm that big a sucker for my kids.  :-)

It's been a huge adjustment around here, mostly for my day-to-day routine since I'm a SAHM . . . which feels very odd, because I'm a mom to kids who aren't around, but I self-identify as a mom, I kind of go in circles about it.  Everyone's in a place they want to be, though, and we're all taking care to be good to one another.  Still finding my way, or starting to, and grateful for the opportunity.

How are the rest of you mamas who are remote parenting?

[enkmom]

My daughter moved with her fiance to Lawrence, Ks and my son lives and works in his college town, so we are essentially empty nesters.  I still keep their rooms for them, and love it when they come, but we have adjusted nicely to being on our own.  I do miss the day to day interaction with the kids, but I don't miss going to school events and having the kids' friends over as much as I thought I would.  I do love that my time is almost 100% my own now.  I am making new friends and breathing new life back into old friendships, and being empty nesters has done wonderful things for my marriage, too.

I like this part of my life. 

[MariaMadly]

Originally Posted by enkmom 

My daughter moved with her fiance to Lawrence, Ks and my son lives and works in his college town, so we are essentially empty nesters.  I still keep their rooms for them, and love it when they come, but we have adjusted nicely to being on our own.  I do miss the day to day interaction with the kids, but I don't miss going to school events and having the kids' friends over as much as I thought I would.  I do love that my time is almost 100% my own now.  I am making new friends and breathing new life back into old friendships, and being empty nesters has done wonderful things for my marriage, too.

I like this part of my life. 

I do love the flexibility I have now.  We have nasty winters here, too, and being able to just push over having to get out of the house is a luxury for me.

They're coming back for winter break in a couple of days.  Both boys on a conventional undergrad schedule, so the nest will be repopulated for the better part of a month.  We're already in the adjustment with DS1 and are looking forward to living with how DS2 is changing.

At this point I'm reminded a bit of the dichotomy my life seemed to have when DH and I were first married and he was active duty:  on the one hand, his career drove our location, use of time, my own opportunities, so it was a somewhat dependent situation.  On the other hand, with him away as much as he was, it took a lot of independence and resourcefulness to thrive.  Or, some days, just keep my head above water.  Feels a bit similar with our kids -- they're both high-interaction, and they respond best to a mysterious balance between availability and our engagement in a world that doesn't revolve around them.