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When do you keep your kids home?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 

This school year, I have been struggling with the issue of when to keep my kids home sick and when to send them to school. DD1 is in middle school and DD2 is in elementary. DD2 suffers from a dustmite allergy, and the last couple of years, the school was a part of that problem (carpets, couches, etc. in classrooms). That has now improved since they pulled up the carpets. She does take medication for this. However, she still frequently suffers from morning headaches & we are trying to track down the cause with the allergist. She often feels not so great in the morning, but has no fever, is not throwing up, etc. DD1 currently has a virus of some sort causing sinus issues - doc says she's fine to go to school, but she just feels bad in the mornings (about 2 wks. now). Same thing - no fever, no throwing up. When I see them in the afternoon, they are generally fine. I vacillate between just keeping them home and sending them. This morning I told them to tell the teachers if they are feeling poorly later in the day, but the answer I got from both is that the nurse would send them back to class if they didn't have a fever. So, back to square one.

 

Do you have some sort of guideline on when to send your kids to school and when to keep them home?

post #2 of 28

You know, if the kids feel yucky, I keep them home whether they have a fever or not. They aren't ones to abuse it and they actually worry about missing too much. 

 

Have you ruled out any problems at school? Often kids with non-descript aches and pains are anxious about something going on at school.

 

 

post #3 of 28

Interestingly I just encountered this with my Kindergartener.

Yesterday he said he wasn't feeling well enough to go to school. No fever, just a cold.

Normally, I'd send him to school even with a cold. But hey, if my kindergartener who wishes he were the Grinch so he could steal weekends (because he loves school so much), tells me he feels to yucky to go to school, I'd believe him. So here we are on day 2 of staying home even without a fever.

post #4 of 28

Fever or throwing up keeps them home.  Feeling yucky enough without fever or throwing up keeps them home.  There have been times where they have felt fine in the morning and then I get a call from the school later in the day telling me they feel sick so I go get them.  I trust the school and their teachers to do this.  It would be much more difficult if the nurse wasn't listening to them and just sent them back to class.  

post #5 of 28

For DD2 I would get a 504 in place and take her in later on the mornings when she is feeling bad; at the 504 meeting I would straighten out how she will make up the work on days she is late; you'll need a doctor's support for this.

 

Quote:
When Schools Punish Sick Children Who Miss School. Public schools are required by law to accommodate the health needs of students. The plan to accommodate health needs may be called a health plan or a 504 plan.

 

Aside from the fever/diarrhea givens, other factors for me are if their illness kept them from getting enough sleep that night, or if they just need a day or two of not getting up at 6 a.m. to get better. Ds stayed home one day this year so far, though it probably should have been 2; dd stay home 3 days though it probably should have been an entire week.

 


Edited by Emmeline II - 12/9/11 at 5:11pm
post #6 of 28
Thread Starter 

Thanks for those ideas. I do usually err on the side of keeping them home, thinking that a day of reading, resting, etc. is better than developing a full-blown illness. Seeing Race to Nowhere last night, confirmed for me that erring on the side of staying home is the right decision! nod.gif

post #7 of 28

I keep my dd home if she has strep, a fever, diarrhea, or vomits.  If she doesn't though I send her home.  When my dd wakes up with a headache I have her drink a big cup of water and rest for a little longer, if that doesn't help I give her ibuprofen and send her to school.  Her school has ibuprofen for when she gets a headache there and they agreed to have her drink a big cup of water and rest for fifteen minutes before taking it. 

 

My dd gets sporadic headaches that her doctor said are probably linked to puberty so they aren't part of a disease that others can catch, if they were I would keep her home.  The women in our family tend to be migraine prone so keeping her home everyday she has a headache doesn't seem like a good way to help her learn to deal with what will probably be a lifelong issue that she will have to learn to work around. 

 

Have you consulted a neurologist?  I had daily headaches when I was a teenager and the neurologist was able to rule out the worry of a physical cause.  If you can't find an allergy related cause I suggest consulting a neurologist to rule out another cause or put your mind at ease.

 

post #8 of 28

When they have a fever, an infection (usually strep), have vomited in the last 24 hours or have diarrhea they stay home, it's a no brainer. (Except for last Wednesday when ds had a temp of 99.1, and I dosed him with Tylenol and sent him to school -- he wasn't that sick, dh is out of town, and I had a final exam and a talk I had to give. bag.gif He was fine when he came home. No fever, just the sniffles like he had when he left.)

 

If they've got a bad cold and it's kept them up the night before, we usually let them stay home for a day or so.

 

Dd is always slow moving in the AM and would gladly skip the first 2 hours if we let her. the problem is that she doesn't go to sleep at a reasonable time. We do NOT let her stay home because she's tired. But it's not a medical issue.

 

For your daughter, OP, I'd wonder about :sleep (is she getting enough? I always have a headache when I don't sleep enough), medications (if she's on any) and diet, in addition to the allergy.

post #9 of 28

I generally keep my kids home for a fever,diarrhea,and vomiting. The rules say 24 hours home until the last eposide.Then I might add a day so they are not going to school with a weak immune system ripe for another bug.

 

If they are in discomfort I may keep them home,but if I was in your situation I know I could not do it that often.Truancy rules hang over us like a cloud.Even sick days are truant days unless you provide a note from the doctor.

 

Some days  when the kids are feeling not so great I will send a note in to the teacher telling them my child not not feeling well,and that if THEY(my child) are unable to complete the school day I should be called to get them. The kids have always made it through the day. If I found out that they told the teacher they wanted to go home,and no one called me, then I would start keeping them at home.

 

It is unfortunate that your child can not attend school for half the day,because as you say your one feels better later in the day.We have allergy issues due to dust and possible mold.It stinks living off allergy pills just to function.

 

If my kids needed to be home more often than not then I would be looking into a temporary alternative. Some kids that are sickly are able to do their public school studies at home.Look into that as a temp solution.Probably should get a letter from the doctor and talk to the principal so truancy is not an issue.

post #10 of 28

Overly tired gets to stay home and sleep in with DH.  Sick means, tummy, fever or anything coming out either end.  Just because... we do that too.  Well DH does it more than I do.  I usually keep the girls home on holidays they are not given at school.  Like Veterans day.  DH will find any excuse to let them stay home.  We've had to curb it a bit because he wanted to keep them home at least once a month just to hang out.  I think that's a little much. 

post #11 of 28

dd had anxiety. staying home often when she 'doesnt feel like going' from K to grade 2 helped her not miss a day in grade 3 or so far in 4. 

 

sometimes too i have noticed if i keep her on when i suspect something is coming on she is well by the next day and able to go to school.

 

if i push her and she goes, she definitely comes down with something. 

post #12 of 28

It depends on the child. When the H1N1 was going around a few years ago, we I am sure had it but no one got a fever while several people we knew were spiking fevers. DD1 went to school and during the day developed a sore throat. No fever, the nurse sent her back to class. She is not one to want to stay home so if she tells me she dosent feel good, I let her stay home. It happens very infrequently, so its not the end of the world. So now, if she is not feeling good, wants to go home and dosent have a fever, she has learned to tell the nurse she needs to throw up and then they call me to pick her up. Both times I have picked her up in the last two years, she went home, napped all afternoon and had a low fever by evening. I would rather she trust her body and how she feels than send her since I can do that.

 

Another time it was late spring and had several things going on. She was crabby, tired, etc. So one morning, I gave her a mental health day. We dropped her sister off at school, went to a farmers market and then had lunch. We dropped her off after the lunch hour at school and all was fine. Sometimes just a time out works wonders.

 

I got a call in early fall, my youngest spiked a fever at school. I took her home, she napped all day and by morning did not have a fever but rules say, fever free for 24 hours. So she had a free day home with Mom.

post #13 of 28


What did Race to Nowhere have to do with illness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragana View Post

Thanks for those ideas. I do usually err on the side of keeping them home, thinking that a day of reading, resting, etc. is better than developing a full-blown illness. Seeing Race to Nowhere last night, confirmed for me that erring on the side of staying home is the right decision! nod.gif



 

post #14 of 28

 I have not seen Race to Nowhere,but I am guessing some parents/teachers are frantic if the kid misses a few days of learning due to illness.God forbid a child misses days for any reason it could lead to less college choices one day!

post #15 of 28

I don't think it's as big of deal in, say, Kindergarten--but at some point missing a chunk of school does have an impact on the kid's learning (at least at our school).  I kept my kids home even if they asked with no symptoms when they were younger, but now it's individualized to the child.  There are some things that definitely keep them home (fever, vomiting, diarrhea--I keep them home until they are symptom free for 24 hours), but there's one that I would keep home immediately if he requested, even in the absence of symptoms; one that I would do so only if he continued to want to stay home when I explained there would be no TV or video games; and my DD I'd need to check the classroom calendar first to make sure it wasn't a quiz or project day first that was causing some tummy butterflies (which she gets over, and is better about communicating that's what she's feeling now).

 

Even when they might want to avoid something (like a test or homework turn in day that they hadn't bothered to prepare for, and thus were understandably nervous about the potential results, or feeling nervous about a presentation), my kids are often reluctant to miss school;  their classes do a lot of group projects and experiential/hands-on learning, so if you're out for the day you really DO miss out and there's not really make-up work that can be done, it's not like they can do a bunch of worksheets or whatever and be where the rest of the class is.

 

I kind of hate institutional school, but even I can see the value in class time, at least for our program.  If it wasn't so hands on and discussion oriented, I probably really wouldn't care how much school they missed.

post #16 of 28

It so much depends on the kid, and the age. Frequent tummy aches or headaches (which can be faked) might be a sign of test anxiety, social anxiety, bullying - or the pains could very well be real, and still a sign of one of those things. Definitely talk to teachers if you suspect there might be something going on. One of my sons has serious anxiety issues, and they first manifested themselves as tummy upset.

 

Colds - again, depends on the kid. One who tries to milk a sniffle or cough into 3 days in front of the TV or computer - I'll send that one off with a reminder that he doesn't need to feel 100% to go to school. A kid who hates to miss school - I'll probably be more lenient about letting him stay home if he's feeling crappy.

post #17 of 28

We are having this issue with my ds. DD never wants to stay home- Ds pulls my chain then thinks he can just chill all day on computer or whatever. He misses alot and I am trying to make some changes.  His biggest trick is saying he has diarrhea- now I ask to see it if I don't see it he is going to school. I wish I had a honest son.  He really enjoys his days home with me but I can't keep him out of school just cause he wants to.

post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Polliwog View Post


What did Race to Nowhere have to do with illness?



 



Just the idea that taking a step back and looking at the big picture is a good idea. Missing a day or two here and there won't be the end of the world. We have, in fact, missed days for important family trips and visits, so I am not a complete stickler about sending them to school no matter what. I originally posted because sometimes my kids are dragging in the morning, but are generally fine by midday, so I am trying to get better in distinguishing that from truly being sick, esp. with a kid who has allergies.

post #19 of 28

uh, fun ruiner!  Can I tell your son about the chocolate pudding and granola trick?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom31 View Post

We are having this issue with my ds. DD never wants to stay home- Ds pulls my chain then thinks he can just chill all day on computer or whatever. He misses alot and I am trying to make some changes.  His biggest trick is saying he has diarrhea- now I ask to see it if I don't see it he is going to school. I wish I had a honest son.  He really enjoys his days home with me but I can't keep him out of school just cause he wants to.



 

post #20 of 28

LOL ha ha.... I would not put it past him to fig it out on his own!  So far this week he has gone every day.

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