My ODS is 3y3m. He has coslept from birth. It was a decision I made because it allowed me more sleep. He was in his twos when I became pregnant with ds2. Hubby and I were apprehensive about a toddler who moved around a lot and a newborn in the same bed. I asked my hubby to make a plan to get our ds1 sleeping on his own with the exception of leaving him to CIO. (Okay some of this is guessing as my hubby has not fully articulated his side to me but basically he bristled against being told that crying is bad because "everyone" leaves their kids to cry so he decided that my condition made the task impossible and didn't try anything.) When the birth of ds2 happened, ds1 was still cosleeping with myself and my hubby. Hubby took ds1 into another bedroom and while I coslept with the newborn. (Still our sleeping arrangements.) Again and again I've mentioned making a plan to follow to have our ds1 sleeping independentally. Hubby does bedtime with ds1 and he claims this can only be accomplished by them falling asleep together. Hubby and I get no one-on-one time. (Although when he wants to be intimate, he manages to come back down after ds1 falls asleep.) Hubby complains that he is tired because of ds1 sleeping closely to him. (I think it's actually in large part because he has sleep apnea.)
I can see that telling hubby to make a plan is not going to happen. He is unhappy with his sleeping arrangements. He is blaming me because I make all the parenting decisions. All of this is complicated because we recently visited friends who let their slightly older child CIO in her room. We stayed at their place overnight and their daughter started crying late in the evening and woke up our kids in the next room (us adults were watching a movie). I went in to take care of the baby but the friends didn't even realize their child was crying. Hubby made a comment recently about how the friends get plenty of sleep.
Anyway. Are there any plans out there not based on CIO? You know, like there's Dr Gordon's nightweaning plan.