My best friend has really gotten excited about me being pregnant. He is gay, has a good job, and is in a stable relationship so he is really on board with starting a family and seemed really happy for my husband and I. He insisted on taking me to one of my prenatal appointments (though we had to take my car because his was almost out of gas and instead of talking to me in the waiting room, he texting all his other friend about how he was sitting at a doctor's office with his pregnant best friend. We then went to lunch after the appointment where I was upset because I was re-diagnosed with bacterial vaginosis again, and he insisted that we split the $12 check? Not that I expected him to pay for my lunch, but if the table was turned I would have bought his) and he has been talking non-stop about looking at baby clothes and about the arrival of my little one. Before I got pregnant (he knew we were going to start trying soon) he demanded that I let him throw me a baby shower as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I let him know the day I found out and just assumed he was planning something. A few months later my mom asked me what I wanted to do about a baby shower and I told her about my best friend's wishes. She called him and he never called her back so she, my sister, and I kind of planned it ourselves (it is a duel baby shower for myself and my sister who is 5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy). It is a pretty fancy venue with a $30/plate holiday tea and luncheon. My sister spared no expense on anything for it.
Well, the shower is this Saturday and my mom and I were discussing the guest list (best friend was invited, RSVPed yes and seemed, again, excited). I was telling her how excited I was to see what my best friend was going to get us. He has been going on and on about the nursery and how happy he is for us, I guess I just assumed he was excited about the shower, though he dropped the ball on the promise of throwing the shower himself. My mom, trying to be an optimist, assured me that he was probably going to get us something really nice (my friend is like a second son to my mom. We have been friends since we were 12).
Well, he just messaged me on Facebook asking if it was ok to not bring a gift to the shower. I was kind of confused because he mentioned me saying a month or so ago (when asked what I wanted for Xmas) that I wanted baby stuff for Xmas. He they asked if it was ok to just give me my shower gift for Xmas. I said, I guess that was fine, but then he clarified that I would be receiving my shower gift as my Xmas present. So I guess he was planning on just not giving us a shower gift at all.
I mean, I don't want to sound greedy or anything, but what the heck? Does this seem like odd behavior? Oh yes, he will certainly come to an expensive luncheon to be fed but he won't bring a gift for his best friend and her first child? I already feel bad that I couldn't help my sister and mom with the shower expenses (money is really tight for my husband and I right now) but now I am really embarrassed that he's coming with no gift for me or even my sister (he knows her just as well as me!) The guest list had to be small for the venue (<30 people for 2 new moms) and my sister had to not invite one of her friends so that I could include him. Now I feel like he has been so rude and impolite about everything that I don't even want him there. Is it wrong that I feel that way?
Needless to say, when my mom found out, she was less than enthused and a little hurt by his behavior.
I guess I just needed to vent. He hasn't really been the best of friends over the years, but I really thought he was excited about the baby. I'm just kind of hurt and embarrassed over all this.