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Mamas who TTC'd for a year or more thread - Page 2

post #21 of 30

Hello! I saw this post and I just had to comment. This is my first post in this DDG. I think I might have the record currently for ttc in this thread. We have been trying for almost 3 years. My son was conceived on the first try of clomid in 2007 and was born in feb 2008. We stopped preventing (i.e. throw out the condoms) in Feb 2009 and have been trying since. I have PCOS and very rarely ovulate on my own. In the beginning of 2011 we started fertility treatments (after finally being able to afford decent insurance). This past year alone we did 4 rounds of clomid, two of which included injections and one that also included an IUI (we did do another 2 rounds of clomid in 2010 that didn't work). I ovulated 3 out of the 4 times last year (some months with 3 or 4 follicles) but not one resulted in a preg. We were waiting for my period to show up this past Dec so that we could try another round of treatments since my recent blood work showed I was either going to ovulate (HA!) or get my period. We waited, and waited and waited. And it didn't show up. I only POAS so I had could tell the fertility place the results. Well I just about fall over when I saw two lines. I of course thought there was something wrong with the test. But there wasn't! I am 9 weeks now and so very happy (and still very much in shock!). We look forward to our newest addition in Aug. We are foster parents and currently have a 5 months old placement we've had since almost birth. How we managed to get pregnant on our own (seriously, I rarely ovulate on my own) and with an infant in the house still shocks me!

post #22 of 30

We TTC for just over 2 years before I got pregnant. In that time I also had 2 losses. I was due last Aug, and also the Feb before that. Praying this one is a sticky and the end of our TTC journey (at least until the next one :) )

post #23 of 30

Well I definitely belong here.  We started TTC #2 right after we had our first in 12/08 (thanks to IVF #1 and 2 long years of heartache)  We TTC naturally hoping for that lucky freebie after our first, but no such luck.  We did a FET that failed in 11/10 then we had a really rough miscarriage 6/11 after IVF #2 and thankfully got pregnant after IVF #3 just this November.  We truely feel blessed and are really hoping this is our take home baby.  This baby will complete our family although we may consider foster further down the road.  IF is brutal and I feel for anyone that has to go thru it.  Hugs to everyone here.

post #24 of 30

Welcome, everyone! I really like to see other women who have dealt with infertility and hear their stories. I'm impressed with everyone's strength and perseverance. We thought we were really in for a long road and Clomid worked on the first shot, we got a "free" baby right after doing all the initial fertility clinic stuff. We are so pleased but I never, ever forget how lucky we are and how much longer the wait can be for some.

 

post #25 of 30
Uggghggh, last night I made a fb status update that was like "doing a shot of floradix & going straight to bed. living dangerously, pregnant style". I woke up this morning to a status update from a friend with infertility that basically said "when women with infertility get pregnant they don't make status updates about their pregnancy every second, because even though they're excited they remember how much it sucks to see that." Maybe this wasn't directed at me, but the timing makes me think it was, so now I feel like shit. And I'm also kinda pissed because that's a pretty passive-aggressive response and also implies I didn't deal with infertility and that all infertile women who get pregnant act exactly the same. I don't post to fb much at all, though when I do it's sometimes pregnancy-related... I am stressed out a lot about my pregnancy lately and live in fear of something going wrong at any moment (which I DON'T post about on fb), and now I have to feel bad for making a silly offhand comment and just... pretend I'm not pregnant when I'm on fb?? I don't know, I may be in the wrong here, but I'm having a hard time dealing with it right now.
post #26 of 30

eleuthia, I'm really sorry your friend made such a passive-aggressive move.  It is totally not your fault, and it's really unfair for her to blame you or post about this stuff in a public forum.  I am sensitive to the difficulties of infertility -- though my husband and I didn't try for very long, at one point I was told I wasn't ovulating and we seriously started considering adoption.  My best friend had just had her baby, and I was torn between love and absolute jealousy.  But I always knew that this was my problem, not hers.  Infertility, like other kinds of tragedies, are no reason for people not to share their joys in life with others.  I can understand being sensitive to the needs of other people, but if a woman can't stand to see Facebook updates from her pregnant friends, she needs to hide those friends and go into counseling.  In the same way that someone who is wracked with grief about the loss of a family member cannot expect no one on FB to mention their mothers or fathers.  I can understand that for the people involved infertility is a kind of hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone.  But like any tragedy, the world doesn't stop turning and other people's lives don't stop.  Go ahead and post pregnancy status updates (within the bounds of good taste, obviously!) and work on getting yourself through a stressful time.  You don't need to take on her drama as well. 

post #27 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

Any other mamas out there who dealt with infertility before becoming pregnant? Please come hang out with me!

 

I don't wish any ill on those who got pregnant on their first try, or who are having a "surprise" baby, but those of us who tried for a long time sometimes need our own place to be!

 

My story:

 

I was diagnosed with PCOS in April 2010, a month and a half before my wedding. As I have had irregular periods from the beginning, and knew from charting that I very rarely ovulated, this wasn't a big surprise. We decided not to prevent from the get-go, since we figured we shouldn't be picky about when we had a baby, as we might not get one at all! We started seeing an RE in January of 2011 (I hadn't ovulated at all up to this point), and final started a cycle of Femara in April 2011. My cycle coincided with my grandfather passing away, and traveling for his funeral. This was not super-conducive to BD, and though we did try, nothing came of it. BFN on Mother's Day 2011, and it was crushing. We had both been so sure that if I could just ovulate (dh has "excellent fertility" according to the urologist), I would get pregnant. We discontinued treatment after our BFN both for financial reasons and because we disliked our RE. In August, I miraculously ovulated on my own again, and was completely crushed when it was another BFN. Another ovulation in October, another BFN.

 

At the beginning of November, I saw a new OB/GYN about my PCOS. I was concerned because I gained about 15 lbs in 3 months, and no amount of exercise seemed to be touching it. He recommended the South Beach Diet and BCPs. I started the diet, but the BCPs never happened because I ovulated on November 22nd and got my BFP on December 3rd!! So after a long year and a half of (mostly fruitless) TTC, I am excited to be here and hopeful I can stay!

 

Hoping to find some other mamas who've been waiting awhile for their new little one!



South beach FTW!!!!!! 

We started TTC, ummmmm lemme think here. like in 2008 with my son. nothing nothing nothing nothing. we were playing BC roulette for a while though so we weren't "trying" trying with charting and such. Ironically, once we started TRYING like charting.... my periods went off the wall wonky. Like 90 day cycles. 18 months in, I went to a fertility doc who is a good family friend. Doc suggested South Beach and we were going to skip the clomid and go straight to the hard stuff- the shots. *gulp* 

He gave me a month and 1/2 - for 2 reasons. I was uninsured (husband switched jobs, that 60 day thing before starting the new insurance)  and our insurance started back up in a month and 1/2, and he wanted to see if the diet would work. At my appointment a month and 1/2 later, 27 lbs lighter, (I went nuts in the gym along with the diet, seriously, NUTS. 2 hours daily, 1 full hour of cardio and 1 hour of light weightlifting) I came in with 2 positive pee sticks saying "um, I don't think I need the shots".

On the ultrasound to check dating, there were cysts ALL OVER my ovaries. What was weird though was I have NO symptoms of PCOS when my weight is down. No hair loss or hair in places it should not be. No rapid weight gain (the weight i had on me and still do is from eating like crap). We TTC'd for #2 for 6 months. Same story, cysts all over. I don't think I ovulate regularly. As a result, as soon as baby #2 is weaned, I'm going back on South Beach, and gym membership too- if I can get down to 150 as opposed to 210, I think I will be a lot healthier overall- There's a lot of heart and weight related issues in my family i'd like to avoid in old and middle age. 

 

post #28 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by eleuthia View Post

Uggghggh, last night I made a fb status update that was like "doing a shot of floradix & going straight to bed. living dangerously, pregnant style". I woke up this morning to a status update from a friend with infertility that basically said "when women with infertility get pregnant they don't make status updates about their pregnancy every second, because even though they're excited they remember how much it sucks to see that." Maybe this wasn't directed at me, but the timing makes me think it was, so now I feel like shit. And I'm also kinda pissed because that's a pretty passive-aggressive response and also implies I didn't deal with infertility and that all infertile women who get pregnant act exactly the same. I don't post to fb much at all, though when I do it's sometimes pregnancy-related... I am stressed out a lot about my pregnancy lately and live in fear of something going wrong at any moment (which I DON'T post about on fb), and now I have to feel bad for making a silly offhand comment and just... pretend I'm not pregnant when I'm on fb?? I don't know, I may be in the wrong here, but I'm having a hard time dealing with it right now.

 

 

HA you tell her I struggled with infertility, and I update PERPETUALLY about my pregnancies. Yeah I remember what it felt like, but if I knew a friend was hiding their stuff to shield my feelings? i'd tell them not to worry about it. 

I asked one of my friends who has been trying almost in the double digits of years and she said "its easy hon, no offense, i blocked your feed, then if I'm in a mood where if I saw it it would trigger a melt down, I dont' see it, but I do check in to see how you and the baby are doing-, that's why you'll see like 10 comments on different statuses from me all at once" 

post #29 of 30

eleuthia Dh and I haven't taken artificial birth control in many years.  Before my BFP late last year I had taken countless negative pregnancy tests over a span of years.  That didn't mean I couldn't be happy for others though.  While she is only coming from a place of pain and is very sad I would just delete your friend's comment and maybe even prevent her from seeing most of your status updates so she doesn't continue to get hurt, since she let you know your posts really get to her.  Hopefully she will choose the option to block your status updates while she is in a hard place.  Your comment was harmless.  I am always cautious about posting due to this issue, I really do feel so upset for others struggling, but at the same time I do want to share with those I care about, you can make groups where you share certain parts of your life and others can't read them if that might help? 


Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 5/23/12 at 12:21pm
post #30 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyTiger View Post In the same way that someone who is wracked with grief about the loss of a family member cannot expect no one on FB to mention their mothers or fathers.  I can understand that for the people involved infertility is a kind of hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone.  But like any tragedy, the world doesn't stop turning and other people's lives don't stop. 

 

I agree with this.

 

I do post about the baby, I am not aware of anyone else on my facebook who is struggling with infertility but it doesn't mean that they're not out there! As a teacher, I always remember that 99% of issues people deal with, you really don't know about.  I dealt with looking at posts from pregnant friends when we were TTC, hid posts, or stayed away from facebook, I never thought to blame the friend for sharing their lives. God knows pregnancy isn't easy, and looking for support and validation from others while pregnant is totally legit.

 

In fact, our close friends who had been struggling with IF got pregnant a few months after we did. It's DHs childhood best friend and his wife. They haven't really shared their full story but I know they tried for four or five years. She made sure to send me a private message of congratulations on facebook and it meant SO much to not feel like we were flying in their faces, and then they got their BFP. :)

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