My son will be four in February and we are still having so much trouble with potty learning. I haven't had much time to be on these forums, so I feel a bit guilty for posting and asking advice but I am at the end of my rope. He is a really great kid, he has his moments like every three-year-old, but this potty business is just getting ridiculous - and is seriously getting on my last nerve!
He never had an easy time with potty training. Until this September (3 1/2 +) he would not even go near the potty! He just decided that he wasn't going to, and was in diapers or training underwear for months. Now he is in underwear all the time, and for a while things seemed to be going okay. The only issue is that he didn't want to go in public washrooms, which I found understandable because they can be loud and he has always disliked loud noises. But the more I tried to make him comfortable, the more resistant he has become to potty training in general. He had a couple of accidents at preschool because of his refusal to use the bathroom anywhere but at home, so the teachers asked me to encourage him more, so I was trying to take him into the bathroom every morning when I dropped him off. They also insinuated that if he peed himself again he would have to wear diapers to school :( Even the 2.5 year olds at his school are potty trained - not that I should be comparing. He is only there for 2.5 hours and would generally hold it and wait until we got home, but I tried explaining to him that pee was what our body no longer needed, that it wasn't healthy to hold it in, etc. etc. Now instead of going potty during the day at home, he just holds his pee and poop in ALL DAY LONG! Today he went to the washroom at around 8am no problem, and then REFUSED to go again! I told him that if he wouldn't go when I asked, the it was his responsibility to go when he felt like he needed to pee. Around 5pm he of course had an accident. I got very upset, but tried to be calm and asked him to go to the bathroom and undress while I went to get him some new clothes. He refused to get undressed! I told him he could stay in the bathroom until he undressed, then I would help him wash up and put his new, clean clothes on. He stayed in the bathroom until his Dad came home an hour later (shortly after 6pm).
What am I supposed to do with this strong willed child? I just get so mad at him, say and do things I regret, and then sink into a depression for the rest of the day. Obviously not a cycle I wish to continue with. I just can't be June Cleaver and clean up his pee and poo all day every day! He is starting Kindergarten in September, and my god I just want him to have a good childhood. I worry about him being picked on :(
I also wonder if this is a medical thing? But... if he is holding it for so long, surely he knows he has to pee? It's just that EVERY stage of this process has been so much harder than I have ever heard before. Maybe the next step is the see a doctor about it? Even if it isn't physical, maybe she can help with the psychological barriers?
Any help is appreciated. I feel so discouraged and hopeless, and all over something so basic.