I talked about my partner's new job for almost a whole month before telling my parents. My 5 year old wanted to be the one to tell them, and my mom was so mad that she just said "I have to go... bye" and basically hung up on my 5 yr old. Then she acted like it never happened for about a week. When my daughter brought it up again, my mom seemed upset again, and my poor daughter could clearly see it and said "don't you like having grandkids? don't you like me and my brother?" It was heartbreaking. Then I got a voice message from my mom saying "you need to call you father, he wishes to speak with you." Like I'm a little kid in trouble right? I didn't call because it didn't sound like it was worth the stress. So tonight I got a nasty email from my dad. A couple things he said:
"" I thought you were
> going to concentrate on your health issues once (youngest child) was somewhat
> independent. I don't see that happening now, and your long-term health is
> questionable to say the least. ""
I honestly don't know what to think about this...he sounds like he thinks I'm dying. I have a fracture in my tibia thats not healing, it's not a big deal, it's been stable for years and I have a metal rod in it. I can walk on it just fine. I also have leaky gut and yeast overgrowth issues from taking a lot of antibiotics from when the bone was infected. I'm working with a really smart doctor on both issues and we;re making good progress. I am not too worried about. It's curable and I'm already healing. Apparently he thinks it's very serious? idk...
also: "Living on the edge of poverty, with no plan for
> that to change, and having major unresolved health issues indicates to us
> that you are not thinking about what is in the best interest of the children
> you already have OR those yet to be born."
I guess he didn't listen to all the times I mentioned the great job that was started a month ago. We're not even close to poverty level now. The job pays $100/hour and even though it's part time it's more than enough to cover our expenses and have plenty left over.
Sorry about this complaining.. It's just so upsetting and I don't know who to talk to about it. I don't think I will be talking to them for awhile. His closing line of the email is "you have a difficult road to travel now, and it just got a lot tougher." Uhhh.. thanks dad? I don't want this kind of negativity in my life.
My partner and I are not worried about this baby at all. We were charting to avoid so this was a surprise- we did plan on getting me healthier and getting our finances in really good shape before having another baby- but somehow this happened. We aren't upset. We have room for another baby, the other 2 kids are getting so much easier now that they are more independent, we can provide for another baby, I feel like our life and relationship is very stable, etc. We're both excited. It wasn't the plan but it's definitely not a big deal like my dad makes it sound like.
So again, sorry for the rant. Just so upsetting. What would you guys do? Just not talk to them for awhile? We live pretty far apart and only visit a couple times a year, so avoiding them is easy. The hardest part will be that my 5 year old and my mom are very close.