Alone at Christmas... non-vaxing and a "menace" - Page 4

[sosurreal09]

So when are babies "fully vaccinated" at a year? You think they will really keep their kid in the house a whole year with no other contacts or fresh air to protect from "VPDs"? That is insane. I bet she's already done all her holiday shopping with the baby in tote!

[nia82]

Wow reading those stories... I am sorry. Stay strong mamas, you are doing the right thing for your kids. I can see family dynamics and narcissistic personalities in those stories. It's a shame if a family really breaks up over this issue, but honestly - if someone really, really cared for each other, they wouldn't let this issue break up a family (e.g. crazy screaming brothers and sister in laws, mothers - they wouldn't let it come that far). Hugs to you! OP, move, move away, I would - it seems your DH will have a better schedule and you can start over in a friendlier community without the threat of your family looming over you, so to speak. And I know how hard it is to be alone. We have different circumstances, but both families live thousands of miles away, and DH works on Christmas. I'll be alone with the kdis, and I was upset at first, but now we decided it's Christmas when we are all together, just like home is wherever we are together, kwim? 

I can see how my life would be much harder if I lived closer to my parents and sister. My sister is a MD, rabidly pro-vaccine, yet has never read a package insert or any studies of any kind. I mean she literally knows nothing about vaccines but the stuff she learned through her one day seminar about vaccines in med school, sponsored by Merck. I don't mean to say people can have different views, but at least one should read up on it. Anyways, she's doing stuff behind my back about vaccines, telling my parents how nuts I am and such things, how my kids will die and blablabla. My mom is all pro-harmony and my sister is a my way or highway personality, so it's tough. I decided to lie. Yes, I lie about it. It keeps them off my back. I can live with the decision (I said DS had all DTaPs and Hib - he had one HiB which is all they need at 2 years and one DTaP - they know I wouldn't vax a child under 24 months ever, plus my nephew has had all vaccines under the sun, with extra doses, and some new experimental ones my sis signed him up for).

Edited by nia82 - 12/21/11 at 12:40pm

[miriam]

.

Edited by miriam - 5/27/12 at 4:09pm

[bygones75]

Thank you so much to you all.

The family drama continues, but I am ending today grateful for all the other good things in my life.  Hubby, children, wonderful friends, this board.  You're been such a source of strength for me during a really hard time, and I am incredibly grateful.

I wish you all a very blessed holiday.

[Imakcerka]

I hope you have a peaceful day tomorrow and a beautiful new year.
 

Originally Posted by bygones75 

Thank you so much to you all.

The family drama continues, but I am ending today grateful for all the other good things in my life.  Hubby, children, wonderful friends, this board.  You're been such a source of strength for me during a really hard time, and I am incredibly grateful.

I wish you all a very blessed holiday.

[seawitch]

Chiming in really late but I also want to say that if it wasn't the vaxing it would be something. It seems to me to be more of a control issue than anything else.

[Mama2ChicknLil]

 Boundaries anyone? How is it possible that they can know you rchildren and chose not to have relationships with them because of a personal decision you have made? It's as absurd as you one day deciding your brothers children are dangerous because they ARE vaccinated!  You are a great mama, who has taken the time out to carefully consider what is best for your family. You are strong and wonderful. Build a community mama. FWIW I'm proud of you.

Happy 2012!!

Edited by Mama2ChicknLil - 1/3/12 at 5:31pm

[Mosaic]

Hi all, please remember that we can disagree with others' opinions, but it's against the UA to call people fools, idiots, etc. Please edit your posts accordingly so the conversation can continue!

[bygones75]

Thanks to you all again. We got through the holidays very well. I had my moments of being upset, but overall, I was proud of my boys and myself. And very thankful for friends (both vaxing and non-vaxing) who've supported us through all this.

One of the great parts of Mothering.com is that how it allows moms to glory in their strengths, to make decisions for their children that may not be popular, but that we believe in our guts are right for our kids.  I try to take that feeling with me as we continue to navigate this family messiness.  I still have a lot of anxiety.  It's hard to be ridiculed and turned into an outcast in any situation, but with one's family, it's just heart-wrenching.  But everyone's support and the words of wisdom help.  I'm trying to focus on what I'm grateful for.  And that list is very long. 

My son is seeing a new naturopathic doc who's helping with the vaccine damage, which is a blessing.  And my SIL wrote this message when I asked her if she and her husband were ever uncomfortable with our decision to not vaccinate when our boys are around her girls.  (I was trying to understand my brother better; SIL fully vaxes her kids.)  This was her response:

I never really questioned your decision to stop vaxing - between Thomas''
reactions and your research on vaccinations - we knew that you made
a decision that was best for your family.  Coincidentally, we
slowed down our vaccination schedule for our girls - stretching everything
out.  Who in their right mind (well actually a lot of people) would do 5
shots to a baby in one sitting???!!!

And it made me feel so, so much better.  Because I knew that I wasn't "crazy", "selfish", "thoughtless", and all the other adjectives described for what I was putting my family through.  Here is a family member -- and a very blunt one! -- who was completely reasonable about our decision.  I needed that.  Just like I needed all your support.  Thank you again.  Happy New Year.