Hola everyone! I've been kinda isolated and haven't visited the forums much, a lot of things have happened this year and my life is crazy, but I'm hanging in there. I broke up with DD's dad back in April and we still live together. I've been working for the past 4 months, trying to get rid of my debt and I just started to seriously look for an apartment. I'm supposed to go see one this weekend, but I have other options lined up. I feel like I'll be much happier once I have my own place and is just me and my daughter. I'm constantly stressed out and this rubs off on DD, which makes me feel so guilty. I've been trying to work a lot on myself, I'm back going to therapy every week, once I do move out and feel more ok about everything, I want to look into going to school. I don't feel like a very good mom lately, I've been working so much, so much overtime and my mood is not the greatest that I feel like I'm not spending a lot of quality time with DD. I really really want to wean her, breastfeeding is not something that I enjoy at all anymore, but apparently I don't know how to go about that. Thanksgiving was kinda depressing, I worked from home and it was just DD and me. I think Christmas will probably be the same. I probably won't buy any presents for DD considering that I need to save money to be able to pay the deposit for whatever apt. I move in. I might get her snow boots though, if I can find any at the thrift store. I guess the hardest thing to deal with these days is knowing there's no one around I can truly rely on, everytime I leave DD with her dad I find her soaked in pee or with a poop diaper and a rash while he's sleeping (maybe not everytime, but frequently). He seems to not understand that kids need to eat. I sometimes consider moving back to Santo Domingo, but everyone that's there talks on how much worse the country has gotten over the years that I really don't want to go back. DD is really big and very smart, talks all the time, she has a very strong personality, way too intense at times. Her teacher at her nursery school loves her, she's always singing all these new songs and brings home her arts and crafts. I miss her, I miss spending all my time with her and listening to every silly thing she says, but then when I'm with her, I feel so tired that I don't make up for the time spent away. I try to remind myself that this is only temporary, but I feel like my life keeps getting more complicated as the years pass, instead of having any sort of idea that things are falling into place. I didn't mean to come with this pity party, but I guess that's just me catching up and the way things are right now.
How are you mamas? How are your DC? We should all post pictures to see how much they grown. I hope everyone is doing well and that you all enjoy the holidays with your families.
Much Love <3