Tandem nursing with a 3-year-old. Tips? Advice?

[Caitlin0919]

I'm currently tandem nursing my newborn DS and 3-year-old DD and I'm just looking for any tips or advice any of you ladies might have. I've read a lot of posts from women who are tandem nursing with younger toddlers, but I haven't seen many from mamas who have an older toddler. DD nursed through my pregnancy and I always intended to tandem nurse once the baby arrived. DS was born about a week and a half ago and things have been going okay as far as nursing. DS doesn't have any issues with latch or anything and DD doesn't mind nursing at the same time. The problem is that DD wants to nurse CONSTANTLY now and it's driving me crazy. She used to nurse 2, maybe 3 times per day. She would come into our bed in the morning and nurse and snuggle for about half an hour before getting ready for preschool and I would nurse her for a bit at night before bed. Occasionally, she would nurse once after I picked her up from preschool. Now that DS is in the picture, she's a lot more needy. DD loves her little brother and hasn't shown any animosity toward him so I'm not concerned about that. We've been trying to make sure that she gets individual attention and when she nurses before bed, it's always just her and me without DS so she does get some one-on-one time with "boob".I guess I'm just looking for some advice and maybe some reassurance that things will work out.

[eleonoreh]

Hi Caitlin! Glad I am tandem nursing my 3-year-old DS and 22 month old DD, so I have a somewhat different situation, but I nursed DS through my pregnancy too. When his sister was first born, he nursed every time she did, which was more often than he had before she was born. I think it's normal for there to be sort of an adjustment period, wanting to bond with the sibling and also needing to breastfeed more to adjust to the newness of having a new baby in the household. At least that's how it was for us. I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Now DS nurses when he feels like it, which usually around 3 times a day, usually at least once by himself. My kids both nurse more often when introduced to a new situation (ie. when we've moved a couple times in the past few years.) It's hard to find people who choose to breastfeed older toddlers so I hope my experience can be of some help.Congratulations on your new bundle of joy and good luck with everything! 

[Caitlin0919]

Thanks for your response! I had a feeling that this was probably just a phase for DD, but I wanted to hear about someone else's experience with it. I still occasionally tell her no when she wants to nurse just because she'll ask after I already have DS latched and settled, but I've been letting her get in on the action most of the time when she asks. It's just that a lot of the time when I'm tandem nursing, I'm miserable. I thought it would be this great, beautiful, bonding experience for the 3 of us and instead I sit there waiting very anxiously for one of them to stop so I can have at least one breast not attached to a child. I keep telling myself that it's what's best for both of them and that it's temporary, but it gets hard sometimes. It's nice to know that I probably won't have to deal with constant tandem sessions for very long. Thanks again!

[eleonoreh]

Yeah no problem! I completely understand how you feel, I felt much the same way. Glad to be of help