I have no Christmas spirit, in fact, my mindset is becoming close to that of Scrooge. I am recently divorced and I have 3 kids. They are spending this first Christmas with their father 2+ hours away (except for my little one will be with me). My ex has systematically destroyed every Christmas for me for the last 11 years and I was actually excited to be having a Christmas without trying to get him to engage with the kids on Christmas morning. This was going to be MY year to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I've made Chex mix, decorated a tree, watched a couple Christmas movies and bought a few presents. My heart is NOT in it. I just frankly don't care. I'm trying to care...because I think I should...but I'd just as soon skip it all together. In fact, the ONLY reason I'm having anything to do with it is for the kids, who would probably be devistated if I just said, "no Christmas"
I don't think I'm particularly sad about Christmas--it's not a longing for what should have been. There is something of being stressed about money, but my family is kicking in. I just don't care. I would like to care. I would like it to matter to me. Everyone else is SO EXCITED about Christmas and I want to join in their fun.
I was going to go to my moms with the little one for Christmas eve/day, but I'm thinking about just staying home--my toddler wouldn't know the difference and we're doing Christmas with my older two and family two days after Christmas. But then everyone wants to "save me" because I "shouldn't" spend Christmas alone.
hmmm. any ideas? advice? thoughts? anything?