I posted this in the toddler forum, but wondering if more appropriate here:
So my husband brings home this book from the library about polar bears and whales. Looks harmless from the front and it's not so bad, but my daughter is only 2.5 years old and some of the content I felt was inappropriate for her. She is very verbal and bright so perhaps the book is intended for kids more in the kindergarten range but she likes it. Anyway, DH brought it home without reading it and I was the first to read it. As I was reading it I told him that it talked about whaling ships killing whales and how there was one after the whales in the book. I decided it wasn't appropriate for her and I just skipped that part and made up parts of the story, which goes just fine with the pictures. Problem averted, right? Nope.
My husband decides to read it to her word for word. After the first reading, she is walking around parroting, "Killing whales!" In the car on our way somewhere she starts spouting off about "killing whales!" again. My husband heard it all and eventually I had to explain to her that killing whales is about giving whales big booboos and it makes the whales sad. That it's not a funny word. She was saying it in kind of a smiley way.
So, my husband continues to read her the book word for word. I decide that he must have a reason and let him go. He hates when I tell him what to do in terms of parenting so I just decide he is smart enough to decide what to do with the information. Well, part three comes in just now as my daughter runs up to me and says, "I'm killing you!" as in she is some type of animal killing another. We both say that is not a nice word and she starts crying. Basically she has figured out what this word means and she is trying to understand it by acting it out. I didn't know what to do but to hold her while she cried. It may have just been from both of us reprimanding her at once, but maybe also from just being confused trying to make sense of the things we are reading to her and showing to her.
I'm pissed at my husband to be honest. At least if you introduce something that you decide is appropriate for a child, then you make sense of it for them or explain it or whatever! He just sits there! I'm left with all the explaining from his mess.
In addition to all this, she watches the series "Planet Earth" with my husband all the time which he had decided was appropriate for her as he thought it was cool for her to learn about nature. That's all well and good but certain parts are just violent and I have always thought too much for her to process and handle. He has fought me on it and I let it go, but now I'm feeling like it is all too much. I would rather censor those parts where the crocodiles attack wildebeasts and the like.
Can anyone offer some wisdom here? I'm happy for you to take his side too. I just need help making sense of this all for my daughter.