Kneading and Pinching :( How to get my 13 mo twins to understand that this HURTS!!

[marquess78]

Im about ready to be done nursing. I love nursing and theres nothing i would rather do than to let them wean themselves.

BUT...

They pinch and knead my breasts constantly while nursing. and if only one of them is nursing, they pinch the other nipple. I have welts and red marks and bruises from it. its sooooooooooooooooooooo painful. ive tried taking them off the breast, sternly telling them no, i understand that they are babies but i need them to stop!!

any advice? ive had to break out the nuk ice packs for after each nursing session :( i almost never nurse in public now because more than half the time i end up in tears.

please help.

[ThreeTwoFive]

Can you give them something else to do with their hands?  A toy to play with?  A nursing necklace?

Empathy doesn't kick in until much later, so getting them to understand that it hurts is unlikely.

[MCorbett76]

I would try a nursing necklace or maybe a small (not hard) toy they could hold in the other hand. I also don't nurse with both breasts bare, as I can't stand the nipple twiddling. If it makes you feel any better, my almost 1yo is doing the same thing and it drives me up the wall. I have red marks all over my breasts from where he does it. Our nursing necklace helps some, when I remember to wear it!

[lifeguard]

I wish I could say I found a good solution. Ds not only pinched right until he weaned (2.5 years) he still does it when we're cuddling & he often is completely unaware he's doing it. The only thing that worked was for me to hold his hands still.

[Spring Lily]

My twins did the same thing! That was AWFUL during tandem sessions, so overwhelming to be constantly grabbing their hands away on both sides at once.

My solution was to give them a soft doll or animal to hold while we nurse. I place it in between their hands and my skin as a buffer. When they start the pinching, kneading, etc, I gently take their hands and move them to the toy instead. They take to that well and fiddle with the toy, instead. I don't usually even say anything. When they're older, you can talk to them about it hurting you, but for now redirecting that energy to an appropriate object will work better.

[QMtwins]

My 20 month old girls do/did the same thing.  If their nails are long at all it leaves welts too!  Ahhh!  Sorry for your pain and glad to know I'm not alone!  I have stressed, "gentle hands," a lot.  Thanked them profusely when they were using gentle hands, etc. IT does work, but took some time.  Also, I did give them something to hold sometimes...a tiny stuffed animal or whatever they seemed to like at the time.  It did pass and I still need to remind of gentle hands sometimes.

[elefante]

I'm sorry, mama. Nursing necklaces worked for us. I hope you find something that works for you, too.

[MrsGregory]

My little one abuses the heck out of her nunnie.  She is already biting (no teeth!  Oh boy I can't wait for teeth!  </sarcasm>) and she pinches and rolls my flesh...  I say "OUCH!" super-loud when she does it, and she stops and stares at me like "Crazy lady, do you not see me eating here?"...  I have no idea if this is actually working or not as I just started yesterday, having gotten the advice and finally decided I was tired of bruised breasts. 

I have seen it advocated that you take the breast away from a child who bites or pinches.  I tried that.  Her face crumpled and she sobbed.  I lasted exactly .5 seconds.

So I am sticking to yelling "OUCH!".

[marquess78]

just wanted to update, nothing is working :( in fact the more i tried, the worse it has gotten. i have welts and cuts and bruises all over my breasts. they used to hold each others hands when they nursed. now one pulls the others hair while the other pokes an eye, that sort of fun stuff. and the other 2 hands pinch me.

i love nursing them, and i know they are not even close to wanting to wean. but i am miserable. ive considered just pumping but i never get completely empty. they nurse at least 6 times a day and trystan co-sleeps (scarlett prefers her own space for some reason. she hasnt co slept very well since she was about 9 mths) most nights so i get extra attention at night.

im thinking that once they are 18 mths i am going to try to wean them. i make sure they get cows milk during the day for meals, and water whenever they want. but when its time for mama's milk, they know it and nothing else will work.

wish me luck

[QMtwins]

Do they do the same thing when they breastfeed by themselves?  We almost never breastfeed with only one, as soon as one starts and the other sees they run over!  It might help?!  Also, not sure how horrible it might be to put an end the session when they begin the rough hands.  Eventually, maybe they will get the idea that when their hands are rough the breastfeeding stops? 

Wish it was easier for you!

Good luck and I'm sorry they are so rough. 

[marquess78]

i can occasionally nurse one at a time. not often. especially if its scarlett nursing alone. trystan is quite possessive of his momma's milk. i wonder is that normal? hes not picky, left or right. he doesnt always want to share. sometimes he pushes her off whichever side she is nursing on and 'steals' it from her. i tell him not to be greedy and that i have milk enough for both of them. silly boy.

but yes, to answer the question, individually they do it too. but i can usually cover better when its just one. even when theyre half asleep(and sometimes when they are asleep on teh breast) they do it. its crazy.

i take them off when they bite and when they are rough with their hands. at this point its more common than uncommon. my bruises have bruises :(  they started holding or playing with each others hands (whichever ones are in teh middle...the free outer hand tortures me)

[MrsGregory]

Update:

She still punches and pinches and slaps her nunnies, but when she bites and I yell "OUCH!" she lets go now, and looks at me all wide-eyed.  Then she re-latches and is, generally, less inclined to bite again.  I guess if she associates biting with being startled, that will suffice.  I have welts.  If she gets any worse, I may wind up pumping for her day feedings - for some reason she is much more gentle at night.  I am assuming I can pump enough to keep up with my little jabba once solid food is also introduced.

[milk_maker]

At 13 months that's definitely old enough for you to end the nursing session when she does that.