Military Divorce?

[Violeta]

well, dh is a verbal abuser in the military and i would like to leave but i don't know what to do...i am a SAHM, and everything is in his name: the cars, the house, the accounts, EVERYTHING...i have no money saved..two toddlers to take care and am tired of taking care of a 30 year old man who can't seem to take care of himself...we found out that we are going to Guam by June 30 and i don't really want to go...i was planning on leaving him, and i know that i can't file for divorce while he is overseas, but i don't feel that i have the resources to just uproot myself and go...we don't live in a community property state so that doesn't help...i feel as though i am either going to commit adultery, because i am so emotionally starved or kill myself just to get out...that's why I figured divorce would be the best option...dh is going to fight me for the kids though..he has made comments like "over my dead body" will you get the kids...i take his threats seriously because he is a little psycho...what do i do?:

[lilmiss'mama]

Do you have family that could help you?

[Violeta]

my family is 8 hours away and would like it if i could be with them in their state and i would too, but it seems as if i will have to file in my state or i could be charged with kidnapping and/or abandonement.

[Trishy]

Go talk to the chaplain and see what he suggest you should do. Chaplains can help a lot.

[fishy]

the chaplain may be a good idea, but also, do you have any type of legal service available to you thru the military? or maybe you could just get a consultation with someone for free? a lot of times you need to talk to someone very knowledgable in the law to see what your options are.

i just want to say...it is scary and it is hard, but it you really feel like you need to leave, there IS a way. verbal (or any other type) of abuse is never acceptable and you should take you and your child out of that situation as soon as you can.

could you arrange a visit to your family and get some help to at least figure some things out? have you talked to your husband about your lack of desire to go to guam? have you talked to him about just how unhappy you are? maybe you could suggest going to counseling. it may not help your marraige, but it could provide you a safe place to tell him how you are really feeling.

you do not deserve to be abused in any fashion. and your children should not see that behavior as acceptable. it is so important to change what is going on here before it gets worse. please listen to you gut and make some plans.

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