Birth Choices - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Willovia]

I have been obsessed with all things birth related over the last 1-2 years, so I have a good sense of what my ideal birth would look like.

We have a tour tonight for a birth center where the midwives also attend homebirths. If we birth at the center, it could be covered in full by insurance. If we birth at home, we would have to pay out of pocket. Potentially $3-4k. I've got the money saved, and DH is adament that we stay out of a hospital, but once he learned that it may be covered in full by insurance, he thinks that the $3-4k would be a nice cushion for other things. We'll see. I have my heart set on a home birth, but after seeing pictures of the birthing tubs at the center, it may be enough to pursuade me. My only other hesitation is that it's 30-40 mins away, and it's a little inconvenient to be laboring far away from home, especially if we end up needing to pass the time doing other things.

Either way, we're going to be taking a Bradley Birthing class starting in March at the birth center. My husband is *so* excited about being my birthing coach (he actually wants a t-shirt made with the name "COACH" written on the back), but I kinda do want to have a doula as well. This is our first experience with natural birth, so I think we could use all the help we can get.

And, this wasn't really asked, but just thought I'd share: I fully intend to encapsulate my placenta and am hoping to find a doula who offers this service. I'm so grateful to live in the age of the internet where I could find all of the information, benefits and success stories of other mothers. It's definitely normalized a lot of things that I never would have envisioned doing.

[monkeyscience]

eleuthia - I don't think I've said it yet, but that really, really stinks about the issues with the birth center. Maybe you could sign some sort of release of liability with a doula? Or is there any chance the birth center would let you just have a list of friends you could call if you need a non-emergency transfer? I mean, isn't the idea of a non-emergency transfer that time isn't of the essence? Not sure if any of these ideas would work, but it really seems like a bummer for you to not be able to birth there over such a relatively minor issue.

CM - Thanks for answering my questions. It does seem like it ought to be possible for a midwife to monitor you, but I guess I could also see why they might be hesitant to take that on, considering how relatively hostile a lot of places are towards midwives.

[Knitting Mama]

Yeah it really bums me out, but we're not in a position to move somewhere more midwife friendly, and I certainly can't afford to fly a midwife in! 

[LilyTiger]

I think we're going to do a birth center.  Our situation is a lot like monkeyscience's above, in that my husband is adamantly against home birth while I would like to try it.  That being said, we have a great birth center a half mile up the road from me, so it's pretty much an ideal situation.  I'm also Rh negative and husband is Rh+, and while I don't think that does anything whacky with the birth, just in case it would be good to be near medical folks. 

I am, however, so scared of unnecessary interventions, so I think we're going to do a doula too.  We're still discussing things, obviously. 

[ceriserenee]

Because of our unique situation we are having a scheduled C-section...but I keep having visions of giving birth vaginally and everything being okay...I think that over the next 9 months it will change and I am not sure how everything will end up...I am just taking it one day at a time. 

[major_mama11]

I am so sorry for your loss, ceriserenee.

We are planning on our first hospital birth this time. DD and DS were both born in a birth center. I left the CNMs' care this past spring, shortly after I realized some bad things about the way they mismanaged my PPH. The birth center closed down this year, so it wouldn't have been an option anyway. The only hospital near me with a still-open OB unit is the one where I work. So it's a good thing I'm comfortable with going there. (There is a CNM in my area who does home births, but that's not for me, especially not living 25 min from a hospital).

My OB is pretty awesome. She is usually supportive of whatever her moms want to do, including going without IV and without pain meds (although I may well go for the epidural this time, we'll see). She does all her own call, which is another reason I picked her over another doc I like.

[eveningstarmom]

We're planning on a midwife assisted natural birth at a local community hospital, and hoping things go as smoothly and quickly as last time.  We are switching hospitals and midwives since last time the labor was so quick we almost didn't make it to the hospital (it didn't help that it was a Walk for Hunger Sunday and several of the faster routes we could have taken were closed).  We are at a slightly closer, and significantly more convenient hospital this time.  Also, I'm excited about being with a small independent midwifery practice.  I had great pre and post natal care with the previous group, but I didn't know any of the midwives who actually were at the delivery or did the follow up care while we were still at the hospital.  The new practice only as 4 midwives, so hopefully I'll at least get to meet them all before the birth.

Willovia -- Where did you find a free standing birth center?  Do you have to go to NH?  That was my original ideal, but DH wouldn't hear of going all the way to NH, and I guess given the labor I had it was the right call for us.  Of course if you found one in MA I would love to know about it -- maybe I could convince DH that we could rent a hotel room near by .

[~Demeter~]

I'm waffling right now... I'd like to go unassisted again but think in the case of transfer I would really like to have some sort of relationship with someone at the hospital. The obvious compromise is going with a midwife but I have concerns that the only midwife in my area is more medically inclined than I care to be treated, lol. I'm a difficult patient apparently. Lots to think about... good thing 9 months is a long time. ;)

[ainh]

I've had both my boys at "the baby factory"...not the most natural friendly environment.  But it has made me a believer that you can have a good and natural birth experience anywhere.  My first was 24 hours total and I finally begged for an epidural at 9 cm.  My second was 5 hours and I was begging the receptionist for an epidural when I got to the hospital, but it turned out I had the baby within 10 minutes of getting there, so it was too late ;).  Apparently I have panic attacks during transition!! 

After I had the second one naturally, my husband said "aren't you glad you did it without drugs?" and I was like "no! that was the stupidest thing I've ever done".  But now that I have some distance from it I guess I'm glad I did it naturally the second time...perhaps?  It was the afterbirth pummeling of my stomach that really hurt and made it hard to enjoy the first hour with my baby...whereas with the epidural I was spared all the post birth contractions and pummeling.

I suppose I would be a great homebirth candidate in many ways, but hubby and I just can't manage that.  I wish we lived in a state that had a birth center...the one here in Atlanta isn't scheduled to open until 2012 or later.  My dream is to move to California before this birth, but I know that won't happen...

[BaileyB]

I am planning a UP/UC. I am for sure doing my own prenatals and will decide whether or not to UC as I get further along, although I already ordered all my supplies. haha. I am glad to see other UCers here!

[Honey693]

I'm planning a home birth.  Our family practitioner knows I'm home birthing, so if anything goes less than perfect I'll go with her.  If I need an OB or transfer my midwife has hospital privileges and she's fairly well known.

[averysmomma05]

I was hoping for a home birth but to VBA2C but the funds didn't come through for the midwife so far as I had hoped so might end up back at the *baby factory*. Taking it one day at a time right now.

[Lisanne]

I live in the middle of nowhere so it's a hospital for me. The plan is to be unmedicated and in and out as fast as I can. I loved my home birth with my second baby and I wish that was an option here.

[Geigerin]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

This is not a fun thread for me.  I have no choice but to birth in a hospital. I have diabetes, and no midwives take diabetic patients. I could do an unassisted home birth, but my husband is very adamantly against that-- and I agree (though less adamantly), because my blood pressure spiked dangerously during labor last time around. Which, of course, led to a cascade of interventions that ended in an episiotomy and vacuum assisted vaginal birth. I am praying for a better delivery this time. I desperately want to be able to home birth, and I really get pity-party over not having a choice.

 I'm so sorry you're frustrated by lack of options. I hope you feel a bit more in control this time.

Originally Posted by texasfarmom 

 Geigerin I'm happy to see you here! I was hoping some of you from Brestfeeding while TTC would make it on over!

There are not a lot of options for us in this area either. It is a fairly rural area with long distances between towns and the "big" citites. There are two hospitals about an hour away, no birth centers for hundreds of miles, and midwives are few and far between.

The doula I used last time with my hospital birth is also a midwife so it was the plan to use her until she moved to CA. The other midwife I know in town moved to CO around the same time. So, I interviewed the only midwife left in town. I would really like her. Luckily, I did! So, this birth will be at home with a midwife. It may even end up being a , but we'll see how I'm feeling about location and positioning during labor and delivery.

Glad to see you here, too! And it sounds like you're comfortable with your options. :)

Originally Posted by Lizbiz 

Oh boy. I have no idea what we're going to do! I would like to give birth at home again... I've had one at home with a midwife and one unassisted.  I gave birth unassisted in part because we live in China and you can't really do a homebirth any other way - and it was a far cry better choice than a Chinese hospital given that I'm low risk, etc.  And we had no insurance and no way to go back home for the birth that wouldn't have put us into tremendous debt.

However, in my current job - which provides us housing here in China - we are asked to vacate our apartments twice a year - in January and in August.  So, I'll be homeless when I give birth, most likely.  Ha ha! :)

Luckily, we're insured this time, so we'll have more options.  That said, I'd strongly consider birthing unassisted again, as would my husband.  We're going to see how the pregnancy goes, and make a call as time goes on.  I know if we'd like to homebirth - we'll figure out a place to call home and just give birth there.  It just can't be a hotel room with my other two kids!  Double ha ha!! :)

I'm not really worried though.  We'll figure something out.

This sounds like a wild ride, but I love how chill you are about the whole thing. Awesome.

Originally Posted by ceriserenee 

Because of our unique situation we are having a scheduled C-section...but I keep having visions of giving birth vaginally and everything being okay...I think that over the next 9 months it will change and I am not sure how everything will end up...I am just taking it one day at a time. 

I am so sorry for your loss. One of my BFFs is having her CBA3C in June. She hires a postpartum doula to help with the first weeks at home. It's not her wish to have surgery, but she doesn't have a choice. One day at a time sounds like a wise path to walk right now.

[Willovia]

Originally Posted by eveningstarmom 

Willovia -- Where did you find a free standing birth center?  Do you have to go to NH?  That was my original ideal, but DH wouldn't hear of going all the way to NH, and I guess given the labor I had it was the right call for us.  Of course if you found one in MA I would love to know about it -- maybe I could convince DH that we could rent a hotel room near by .

Yes, it's in NH. We are going to the Birth Cottage in Milford, NH. We live in Lowell, so it's only about 35 mins for us...but Milton would be a lot further. Unfortunately, MA just doesn't have the resources. It's so frustrating! As an aside, we found that we are just outside the range for a homebirth. So we'll be heading up there for the birth. First prenatal appointment is 12/28!

[lactomom]

I really wanted an unassisted birth, but DH just isn't up for that (and I'm not having bad birth vibes around during birth time), so we are going to have our second home birth (first was a traumatic hospital birth). The midwife we used last time (very hands off) got married and stopped practicing  so we had to find a new one. Luckily I spent 3 days, as a doula, with a great LM last August. We have hired her and she is also hands off. The only thing I really miss about my previous CPM was her advanced herb and essential oil knowledge. 

Our current MW is 2 hours away and my births are fast, so I my just get my unassisted birth! 

I would also love a water birth this time around, but I guess we'll just have to see. My DS didn't like it when I was in the water, he wanted me up and walking. My last home birth was very calm, peaceful and pain free (except for my lower back being out, which counter pressure took care of), so I'm looking forward for that again. 

[eveningstarmom]

Originally Posted by Willovia 

Yes, it's in NH. We are going to the Birth Cottage in Milford, NH. We live in Lowell, so it's only about 35 mins for us...but Milton would be a lot further. Unfortunately, MA just doesn't have the resources. It's so frustrating! As an aside, we found that we are just outside the range for a homebirth. So we'll be heading up there for the birth. First prenatal appointment is 12/28!

Aww shucks!  I figured that was probably the case, and there is no way we could plan to make that drive without risking the good possibility of a roadside birth.  I hope you have a wonderful experience there though!  
 

[DFWBaby]

We are planning a midwife assisted homebirth.  We might switch to a birth center.  I'm still trying to decide whether setting up the birth tub at home is going to be too much of a pain because our tub is definitely not big enough and I want another waterbirth.  That is the thing that keeps me considering a birth center -- just turning on the faucet and being done with it.

[Willovia]

Originally Posted by DFWBaby 

We are planning a midwife assisted homebirth.  We might switch to a birth center.  I'm still trying to decide whether setting up the birth tub at home is going to be too much of a pain because our tub is definitely not big enough and I want another waterbirth.  That is the thing that keeps me considering a birth center -- just turning on the faucet and being done with it.

That's the only thing that makes me at peace with birthing at the birth center, instead of at home. Their tubs are gynormous. And really, that's all I want.

[lactomom]

Originally Posted by DFWBaby 

We are planning a midwife assisted homebirth.  We might switch to a birth center.  I'm still trying to decide whether setting up the birth tub at home is going to be too much of a pain because our tub is definitely not big enough and I want another waterbirth.  That is the thing that keeps me considering a birth center -- just turning on the faucet and being done with it.

Originally Posted by Willovia 

Quote: /> That's the only thing that makes me at peace with birthing at the birth center, instead of at home. Their tubs are gynormous. And really, that's all I want.

The decision should really come down to where you will be most comfortable, because that's where you will have the best birth experience!

Also, you may want a water birth, but baby doesn't want you in the water. That happened during my last birth. I would get in the water and my baby said "Heck no, Mom. Get out and walk."

You also don't have to wait until birth time to set up the birth pool.If renting on from your midwife, she will typically drop it off about 37-38 weeks. Of you have a place it can go, and the household can still function, put it up then. That way at birth time, all you have to do is fill it. Your midwife will take it down.

Later time we just used our large tub, but it's not big enough for my husband and I when I'm not pregnant. I'm considering renting the birth pool... I just need to decided where I would put it.

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