DD is 26 months old, and we've been co-sleeping since we brought her home from the hospital. We have been back and forth with loving it, and finding it tiring and frustrating (usually due to her waking up frequently to nurse and crying for a loooong time if I try to tell her "no"). All the time, however, I never wanted to put her in her own bed. As frustrating as it can be, I love having her beside me, snuggling, and giggling when we wake up in the morning.
I won't go into everything, but over the past two+ years we've had our share of difficulty. My husband hurt his back at work and had to have two surgeries (the first one came only months after giving birth to Maya), and so for the first year of her life I was pretty much caring for her AND him. He struggled with insomnia, drug dependency (from pain management prescriptions and pain-killers after the surgeries), and later he was diagnosed with PTSD.
Now, he is not taking any of the drugs, he isn't experiencing nearly as many PTSD-related symptoms, and he got a job a few weeks ago! Up until he found employment, the three of us were together pretty much 24/7 (I work from home part-time, so I never had to put DD in daycare).
I'm wondering if DH going back to work has affected Maya in a way that has caused her to regress a bit as far as frequency of nursing. I felt like we had been making good progress with partial night-weaning (I didn't want to do it originally, but it was too much... every two hours!), but right around the time he started working, she started nursing more. I noticed it more during the day at first, but after a week she was nursing frequently at night again, too.
This causes some stress between DH and I, because we have gone back and forth with him sleeping in a different room, and Maya and I sleeping together in our bed because of DH's sleep issues. I miss all of us sleeping together, and the other night I told him so... he said that honestly he was done with co-sleeping and he wants Maya to have her own bed. He gets frustrated with how often she wakes up in the middle of night (which wakes HIM up), and he doesn't handle it very well when she starts crying if I try to tell her it's not time to nurse.
I am not ready to give up co-sleeping! The thought of trying to put her in her own bed makes me so sad, and I KNOW she isn't ready yet. DH's attitude towards it makes me a bit resentful, and the fact that he sometimes gets up out of bed (or just sleeps on the couch instead of coming to bed at all) makes me upset. I feel as though it forces me to take care of Maya solely during the night, if she happens to have a potty accident, or if she's crying because I want her to try to go back to sleep without nursing, or if I have to go to the bathroom (which is downstairs... where DH sleeps) and she's upset because I have to leave the room to do so... I end up having to get her up out of bed and taking her with me.
I just don't know what to do! Has anyone else ever been in this situation? What did you do? Are there any suggestions for ways that we could make this work in the most loving and fair manner possible???