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Concerns about sleeping arrangements once baby #2 arrives

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

My dd just turned 3 and we have always had challenges with her sleeping.  We coslept until Feb when we moved her into her own room.  Typically she will wake up at some point and i'll finish the night in bed with her.  She has slept through the night in her own bed only about 5-10 times since Feb.


I'm 33 weeks pregnant and have been really struggling with lack of sleep - it's not uncommon for her to be awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night, and she is a restless sleeper in the early morning hours so sometimes I wake up and have a hard time falling asleep.  She gave up naps a long time ago so most days I can't take naps, and I'm so exhausted recently.


DH works night shifts 5 days a week so about 2 weeks ago I started bringing dd into my bed when I'm ready for bed and letting her sleep there the rest of the night.  We both sleep SO much better - she sleeps through the night more than half the nights when she's in my bed, I don't have to physically get out of bed, and when she does wake up she tends to go back to sleep a lot faster. 


I realize I really need sleep for both my health and the baby's health and so I've been keeping her in my bed because I need to do what works and we've been trying since feb to get her used to sleeping alone and it hasn't worked.  Now there is only about 7 weeks left until the baby comes and I'm worried about what will happen when the baby is here.  If I keep her in bed with me and the baby, will the baby be waking her up constantly?  Will she see the baby breastfeeding at night and get upset (we nightweaned when I first got pregnant)?  for the 2 nights a week DH is at home, it will be a tight squeeze (we have a queen and buying a new bed is not an option because we are likely moving to another continent next year so it doesn't make sense - we do have a cosleeper for the baby so that will give us a little more room)


Should I just continue to do what gets us both the most sleep?  Or should I do whatever I can in the next 7 weeks to get dd in her own bed to make things easier when the baby comes (although she might possibly regress anyway and end up back in our bed regardless of what happens in the next 7 weeks)


Any experience cosleeping with a newborn and toddler?  Any tips?

post #2 of 5

I would probably put her bed in your room if it will fit, possibly even push it up to your bed if you want.

post #3 of 5

we had a newborn and a toddler, and let me tell you, i worried so much about the new baby waking up ds1, but it never happened! not once. with all the newborn crying, me getting out of bed to "walk" the baby or to nurse (i needed the light in the living room) or me complaining to dh that ds2 was up for the umpteenth time, the very first time ds2 woke up ds1 was when he had been crying nonstop for over 2 hours, at around 3 months. 


we also have a queen size, but we had a sidecar for my toddler to sleep in, baby slept in the middle (dh was very baby-aware, we felt comfortable having him in the middle.) 


having your dds bed pushed up next to yours sounds pretty good. sleep is so important right now! i would do whatever makes everyone happy. 


and for the record, we slept like that for over a year, until i got pregnant again. now ds1 sleep with my dh in another room while i have ds2 and my pregnant belly are in our room. all this until we get mattresses for the boys to put them in one room together so we can start the process over again with baby #3 :)

post #4 of 5

It may take trying a few different arrangements until finding the right fit for your family but trust that you will find one.  My oldest children are a year apart in age and I recall my eldest waking with the baby only 2 or 3 nights before sleeping through the night.

post #5 of 5

My DD just turned 3, and DS is almost 5 months, so a little bit closer in age than yours might be. I nightweaned DD at 23 months, early in the pregnancy, and she totally weaned at 8 months pregnant, when she was 2 1/2, so I was worried about her seeing the new baby get milkies. That was only an issue for a little while. By about the third night, she was "holding them for him". We have a family bed, all of us in a king size. DS hasn't woken up DD once. However, DD has woken DS many many times :(  She was STTN from 23 months, until a few days after he was born, and then, serious regression, waking often, restless sleeping, waking for an hour or two at a time, etc. I'm hopeful that we're starting to work it out now. DH works half night shifts, so one of my big worries was that I would be alone in the bed with a newborn and toddler, but that has been absolutely fine. I would say, do whatever works to get you sleep now, because all bets are off that your big girl will stay in her room once the new LO is here. You need to do what's easiest for you, and gets you the most sleep. And what gets you the most sleep might change...

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