I cry when I wake up in the middle of the night and have to eat or I'll puke. I. Don't. Want. To. Eat. In the middle of the night! It is super frustrating, I just want to sleep. But before my ob prescribed me Zofran, I had to wake up 10 times to puke AND then eat after puking all night b/c puking stomach acid was killing me. I also cried like crazy watching The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Like I sobbed so hard I gave myself a headache. Why were those people so mean to Caesar?
What made you cry today? - Page 4
I cried last night over the phone because my husband is taking a huge symphony audition today and I am so proud/overwhelmingly excited for him and we are not together (I'm working out of town, he's taking the audition in a dif't country and our kiddos are in a dif't state altogether with my inlaws). It's been a huge process for him getting ready for this and he's worked so diligently hard - I'm amazed by him - amazed to tears! :) The audition is this afternoon and I'm sitting in agitatingly slow meetings all day (everything is translated into either Chinese or English so it takes FOREVER to discuss anything ;)).
I also just saw a picture on Facebook of a little orphan boy in Iraq who had drawn a larger than life picture of his mother on the floor so that he could lie in the crook of her arm. Unbelievably moving - probably would have cried over that pregnant or not.
I'm not just pregnant right now - I'm also jetlagged and very overtired and I tell you what - being pregnant and going through jetlag is brutal. This is the second time I've done it and I'm just not adjusting to the time difference as quickly as if I weren't pregnant. It is not the time to make any rash decisions ;). I am just not stable.
It's making me an emotional basketcase! Agh! HELP! :) Where did my rational self wander off to?
I just got a handwritten note from the parent of a child I used to teach (with a Starbucks card!). He said that he and his daughter were talking recently about her favorite teachers, and mundane was one she mentioned. He thanked me for being such a great role model, and said that they hope I'm enjoying staying home with my daughter. I am just so humbled that they remembered me and thought to send the card (it's been almost 2 years since I last taught).
Last night I had a total breakdown and was questioning man kind as a whole.
I noticed an elderly woman in the parking lot of the market. She was parked in a handicapped spot (on a slope) & was clearly struggling. I was walking in from a distance, and I noticed that not one of the workers at the market stopped to help her. She couldn't hold on to her basket and put the groceries in at the same time, so she spilled her bags. Groceries went everywhere. I was so annoyed that no one noticed this. There were folks everywhere.
I helped her load up the car, and ran away crying because I just couldn't bare the thought. Normally I would have just thought how rude of others, but last night it was a whole different offense.
I said to DH "I don' t remember being so overwhelmed with these emotions last time." He just patted my leg & said, "I do."
...exactly something my husband would say/do The other day I was having a slight meltdown at a restaurant and he unfolded the paper napkin and passed it across the table to me with a pencil, saying "here, why don't you draw me a picture of how being pregnant feels."
I came very close to crying when DH got mad at me for leaving stuff in the sink. I was so pissed because I just got back from giving a lecture to the faculty (which was stressful enough) and earlier today I had cleaned up the kitchen before work and even pulled in the garbage can and recycling bin from the street so he wouldn't have to do it, and here he was berating me (nicely, but still) for leaving dust (I guess from the vacuum?) in the sink. I get really frustrated because we just have different standards of cleanliness in the kitchen and I also feel like I should get a pregnancy pass for some of this stuff. I really tried hard not to cry because I knew if I started I would not stop. So I managed to hold it off, but I'm still right on the verge right now. Ugh. This is one of the only things we ever argue about, but I feel like it's the same exact argument every single time, and I'm just too emotionally unstable right now to handle it. So I'm hiding in the bedroom right now. :(
Love the Dh stories!
I cried when a guy who was catching snakes in the field (then releasing them) for a show called 7 deadly snakes saw a snake in the desert who seemed very hot and almost overheated like. He stopped everything and gave the snake some water. The snake was happy to take the water from him for a long time and seemed grateful and her condition improved. He was very touched as it was not a common moment. So I was touched and then I started crying. Gah.
LilyTiger: our fight last night was about kitchen cleanliness too! Only in our case, he's the one who has a much lower standard of cleanliness than me, so I was asking him to step it up a bit. He actually responded quite well, but then immediately got up to start cleaning and that made me burst into full-body sobbing because...well, I'm not sure. Yikes.
Sol_y_Paz: I totally just started cracking up about crying over a snake. Mostly because I would TOTALLY do that too!
Wow, snake story made me want to cry! Poor little snakey - glad it got some help!
pennywhistle, how awesome of your dh with the picture thing. That almost made me cry, too!
I just about started crying today, too, because of dh and cleaning. I was so proud of myself because I made cookies and washed the laundry (things dh has wanted me to do for several days), plus dropped cookies off anonymously for some people who I thought could use them, because I've barely done anything lately. But dh came home and saw the laundry sitting everywhere waiting to be folded and all the dishes I ran out of time to do because I slept till almost noon because I was bizarrely exhausted, and was upset about it. (And some other things mixed in - some miscommunications and work stress.) So I almost cried because I felt like he didn't see any of the good stuff I'd done, just all the stuff I'd meant to accomplish but hadn't. But then he cleaned everything up while I was gone, which was wonderful of him. But I still felt bad because he was supposed to be studying tonight. Sigh.
My toddler made me cry today. He just kept screaming at me like a howler monkey yelling for "DAHDEE" the whole time. It all started because I told him "not right now" when he wanted to nurse. (its either wean him or cut him down to 3x daily. Poor kid we'd BOTH prefer 3 daily, especially because my favorite session is night time when he gets all cuddly and squishy). I broke down and started bawling. It startled him and he stopped crying. Even when I had tried to cuddle him all afternoon to no avail apparently mommy tears stop toddler tears.
This is what happens when we skip our nap. I'm sick w/ an upper respiratory infection, and NOT SLEEPING and having a lot of anxiety about thing#2's birth and i'm only 13 weeks along. So... when he won't nap, and I can't nap, I want to bawl.
I don't know what came over me last night, but I just broke down in the middle of the night. I think part of it was that I am just absolutely exhausted from working eleven hour days all week, and I don't want to go in this morning. Part of it was that it is my 30th birthday and DP was absolutely sweet and wonderful and I felt like I didn't deserve it because I'm a lazy slug lately, and part was that I just really don't know what I'm doing. I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of having a baby and I feel like my body has been taken over. I'm not myself, I feel gross all the time, I throw up, and I get constipated and I haven't worked out in forever. DP and I usually work out together, and between working all the time, and not going to the gym anymore together, I feel like I am so disconnected from him (my absolute disinterest in intimacy at this point also contributes) and disconnected from my normal outgoing vibrant self. I woke him up balling wondering if we were making a mistake. Then I feel bad for feeling unsure. I know I will love this kid, but I felt so scared of what is going to happen to my life by adding him or her to it. I know I should be happy, and a lot of the time I am, but sometimes I'm just scared. Poor DP, he just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay and it would go back to normal. Luckily I only have to work 4 hours today, and then I can spend some time with my twin for our birthday, and be around my awesome nieces, and DP and friends, and I'm sure I'll feel better.
Oh man Veritas I could have written that whole post myself. I've had a few panicky cry-fests lately where I'm convinced we've made a horrible mistake and I start blaming myself for ruining our lives (for some reason I'm always convinced it was MY fault that I got pregnant...don't ask me why). I feel so gross and unattractive and there's not much my husband can do to convince me otherwise, especially since I haven't wanted to..."be intimate" shall we say...in weeks. Last night I wanted to start taking weekly pictures, and then kept crying and deleting all of them because I hated how I looked in them. I am SO OVER all these hormones! I hope you have a great birthday, and that you start feeling better soon!
Veritas and Penny, so glad other people are experiencing the same thing! My mom said that when she was pregnant with us she wasn't really excited so much as she knew she should be excited. I don't feel that way yet, but I've definitely had these moments of panic like, what have we done? What are we doing? A big part of it I know is that I don't feel like my normal self, my sleep is all jacked up, and I feel exactly like you Penny about weight and everything. I know I'm supposed to be gaining, but I just feel fat right now. I had a dream last night that my husband cheated on me because we haven't been having sex, and that (needless to say) didn't help anything. I really can't wait for the second trimester bliss (that's what happens, right? It's just awesome?) to kick in. The only time I feel good is during or right after workouts, but I'm so tired that I only get those in three times a week.