planning #2?

[theonlykimi]

i have a 5 month old and i'm trying to figure out how when to "plan" #2 i wanna breastfeed him for at least the first 2 years but i know when i get pregnant my milk could dry up so just breastfeeding-wise when would be the earliest we could safely start trying without potentially depriving him of good breastmilk nutrition??

[etsdtm99]

i have yet to get this right and i have 3 kids..  my milk dries up at about 12 weeks.. so in theory i have about 2 more months of milk after i find out i'm pregnant.. i've gotten pregnnat at 17 and 20 months .. this time, i'd like to make it to 22 months so that DD will have breastmilk until 2 .. my DS (#2) is still nursing though at 3.5 so my milk drying up during pregnancy did not mess up our nursing relationship - but from a nutrition stand point i'd like 2 years of breastmilk if that is your goal, waiting until close to 2 years to get pregnant would be ideal

[foreverinbluejeans]

If you want to breastfeed at least 2 years then you may not be able to decide until after that time. The WHO and UNICEF recommend waiting to ttc until your baby is 2.5 - 3 years

[Tjej]

I think it really depends on how totally important it is to you.  You may be able to BF after you have conceived, or it may not work out ( pain too much of an issue for you, your child doesn't like the change in taste, etc.).  If it is 100% important to you to make it to 2 yrs, then don't try before then.  If it is 75%, then you have some room to consider TTC earlier...

Tjej

[theonlykimi]

now i'm totally confused, i didn't think i'd want another so quickly...?

i just want like 6, whats wrong with me?

[Megan73]

Nothing! I think it's great for good parents to have lots of kids.
But how you feel now with a five-month-old may be different than when you have a more demanding and mobile toddler.
Also, you are absolutely right that you may dry up. I got pregnant when my older son was 18 months old - I'm older and didn't have time to wait - and both dried up and couldn't bear the feeling of his "dry nursing." I still feel badly that he was weaned so young.
Edited by Megan73 - 12/18/11 at 12:45pm

[OdinsMommy0409]

My milk dried up by 8 weeks pregnant. My supply is very sensitive to progesterone apparently. Anyways, we waited until DS was two years old before I even considered getting pregnant. If I had know my supply would disappear so early, we would have waited longer to TTC as DS was still a very frequent nurser. Fortunately, he adapted very well, but I had hoped to breastfeed him until he was at least 2.5 and closer to 3 then let pregnancy determine if I could go for longer. I expected to have supply issues closer to 20 weeks, which would have meant DS would have been 2.5. 

So, don't plan to be able to breastfeed through pregnancy and make your decision based upon that. Baby #3 will probably be at least 2.5 before we stop prevention methods (unless he naturally weans himself earlier).

[foreverinbluejeans]

There are LLL Leaders that have large families with their kids being around 3 years apart. They keep having kids in their 40s. Sometimes they have grandchildren that are older then their children. I had 3 children and my gaps were 3.5 years and 5 years. I had 3 miscarriages or the 5 year gap wouldn't have been as long and I would have had at least 4 (one of my miscarriages was when my youngest was 3 and I had medical reasons to not have any more pregnancies). I think I would have kept having babies every 3-4 years if I could have.

It's common to have "baby fever" once you find out how much you love being a mother. It may be a biological drive. The love a mother has for her baby can be so intense. The best may be yet to come. My favorite time nursing was 1-2+ years.

To get all of the jaw and facial development benefits of breastfeeding a child may need to breastfeed until age 3. If you want your child to have all the benefits of breastfeeding I think 3 is a good goal. You will see that many other mothers who nurse their toddlers talk about nursing only a couple of times a day. The mother may say (and believe) that is all the toddler wants to nurse. However she may not want to nurse in public, has a hectic lifestyle, will put the toddler off when he wants to nurse, puts him in a crib and lets him "self-sooth" to sleep, ect.

A toddler that still has a symbiotic relationship with his mother may still nurse 8 or more times a day. The milk changes composition to meet the toddler's needs. For example the milk for a toddler has more infection fighting components because the toddler is exposed to so many things crawling and walking.  

I'm not saying everyone has to breastfeed 3 years to be a good mother. I'm answering the question, how long does a child need to be breastfed to get all the benefits of breastfeeding? It is common for children in the US to self wean between 2.5 and 3 years.

Six is a lot of kids and you would need a big house and a big vehicle. I don't know how old you are and if it is practical to have a baby every 3.5 years. Once you start your periods you could start taking your temp every morning and plotting it on BBT charts so you know when you are ovulating. You can use it for birth control if you wanted and then when you wanted to get pregnant you can use charting to know when to ttc. It is a low tech, no side effect, empowering way of controlling when you get pregnant. You will also be able to tell from your chart if you are pregnant. This is how I always got pregnant (in the 70s and 80s).  

Your baby is only 5 months old so you have a lot of time to think about it. I encourage you to go to a state LLL conference. They aren't very expensive and can be a life changing experiece. You will see hundreds (usually) of women that are very strong breastfeeding advocates. Many have babies and kids with them and have large families. There are different sessions you can pick from. Most conferences have a famous speaker. It is like a different world. You can find info about conferences on your state's LLL web site. Men can usually go too. I think going with me to my first conference made my husband more of a breastfeeding advocate and open to the idea of having more children.

I hope this is of help.

[Norabella]

I agree with the PP's that if you are committed to BFing until your LO is 2, don't get pregnant until then. My sister had an unexpected pregnancy when her 1st was 15.5mos. Her milk dried up almost immediately and since she had intended to BF until at least 2, she has struggled with feeling guilty. In her case, the pregnancy is the result of BC failure, so though she wishes he could have BF longer, she also acknowledges that it was out of her control. But, since you just never know whether BFing during PG will work for you or not, it seems wise to assume that it won't, if the BF goal is really important to you. (And I think it is wonderful if it is, my dd BF until 2.5)

[etsdtm99]

I just wanted to add that there is nothing wrong with you! I went through the same thing when my first was about 6 months old - i wanted a bunch more kids ! I didn't have the information you had and i'm so lucky that things worked out as well as they did for us..  We ended up ttc when DD was 6 mo (had a m/c at 12 mo) and didn't get pg with DS until 17 mo -  knowing what i know now, i'm so glad that i didn't get pregnant right away - DD would have had to have formula and would have almost certainly weaned before early....   its all about what you want for your family -  i am very happy with my 2-2.5 yr age gaps .. my kids play so well together .. i think 3 years would be the biggest gap i'd want.. (that is what we're shooting for this time around)   how old you are and what age you want to be done having kids is important to consider too ..but i think the best advice i've gotten there is to take it one kid at a time..

[aHikaru]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans 

The WHO and UNICEF recommend waiting to ttc until your baby is 2.5 - 3 years

I just learned about this the other day, which makes me glad I waited, AE will be 3 in two months and we just started talking about the possibility of having another :), regardless of knowing this information I still waited till I felt 100% myself again before thinking of having another.

[Sonnenblume]

It is not true that your milk supply is bound to dry up. I nursed my one-and-a-half year old daughter through my entire fourth pregnancy. Only the last few weeks did I have barely any milk left for her. And I loved it when she would help me with the excess milk I had once the new little one was born! I just found out I am pregnant again with number 6. I am very excited, and I am not at all planning to stop nursing my 12-month-old. I highly recommend the book "Adventures in tandem nursing - breastfeeding during pregnancy and beyond" by Hilary Flower / the La Leche League. It addresses all kinds of preconceived notions that are simply not true.

Whenever I feel that I might have less milk than the baby would like (regardless of pregnancy) I follow two simple rules. Drink lots of water and tea, and rest during the day. This always does the trick.

One word of caution - be careful when planning too much. It is not guaranteed you will become pregnant right away when you wish to. Some women conceived the first one very easily, and tried for a long time with the next one. It is heartbreaking!

All the best to you and your family!

[Norabella]

I don't think anyone said that milk supply is bound to dry up with pregnancy, but it IS a real possibility. Just because water and tea worked to help you maintain your supply does not mean it will work for everyone. Losing milk supply during pregnancy isn't a "myth," it is a reality experienced by enough women for it to be a factor to consider.

[Megan73]

Originally Posted by Norabella 

I don't think anyone said that milk supply is bound to dry up with pregnancy, but it IS a real possibility. Just because water and tea worked to help you maintain your supply does not mean it will work for everyone. Losing milk supply during pregnancy isn't a "myth," it is a reality experienced by enough women for it to be a factor to consider.

ITA. The figure I've read is that 70% of moms will experience a decrease in supply - including some drying up entirely. No amount of tea or water is going to turn the tide of pregnancy hormones for most women. Not to mention the fact that many moms - I was one - feel angry and resentful "dry" nursing with sore pregnant nipples.
It's just something to consider...

[Tjej]

Yeah, I wasn't trying to say or imply that you WILL lose your supply, I was just saying that you CAN lose your supply, so think about what is really important to you about it and go from there.

[azhie]

Why does milk supply dry up in pregnancy? Do most mothers usually wean when they're pregnant?

I hope to nurse dd until 2 or as long as she likes. But dh and I also want another child (or two). I thought we could start trying once my periods start. DD is 6 months and no sign of period yet. She's still nursing around the clock. Knowing about tandem nursing has encouraged me a bit, as in dd could still nurse in the case we do have another baby... but it seems like a baby is likely to wean during mother's pregnancy?

[theonlykimi]

foreverinbluejeans: thank you this was super helpful!  i dont remember reading that about their jaw development before and i do wanna try to go to a lll state confrence that sounds nice i couldnt find it online but will ask a leader

sonnenblume: i am actually working on reading "Adventures in tandem nursing - breastfeeding during pregnancy and beyond" by Hilary Flower / the La Leche League at the moment and it kinda encouraged me thinking that i could do it but after reading everything you guys said to i am thinking i might have to readjust my thinking and plan on not having another until he is 3ish  i think a lot of you were right i just have baby fever because i had one and everything went great and i'm loving it and just wanna do it again and again and have lots but i probably just need to stick with this one for a while and make sure he gets all the momma milk he can get and then think about doing it all over again

[OdinsMommy0409]

Milk supply can diminish or just change in pregnancy due to a variety of reasons. My milk supply is very progesterone sensitive so dried up the first trimester during the progesterone surge of pregnancy. Also, the milk itself can change. In my case, my milk (well colostrum came in around 22 weeks), and my dry nursing son completely stopped nursing. He gives me this look like "what the hell is that coming out?!?" So, between changes in supply related to hormones and perhaps dehydration from pregnancy sickness and changes in the milk itself, some children will wean. I always expected to tandem nurse, and I never expected my milk to dry up with a frequent nurser. 
 

Originally Posted by azhie 

Why does milk supply dry up in pregnancy? Do most mothers usually wean when they're pregnant?

I hope to nurse dd until 2 or as long as she likes. But dh and I also want another child (or two). I thought we could start trying once my periods start. DD is 6 months and no sign of period yet. She's still nursing around the clock. Knowing about tandem nursing has encouraged me a bit, as in dd could still nurse in the case we do have another baby... but it seems like a baby is likely to wean during mother's pregnancy?