DD is getting close to 8, and a recurring problem is her inability to stop when she gets riled up, particularly at bed time.
We have tried everything. We stop all tv and stuff early in the evening, and we have tried all types of end-of-day slowing down or routines or habits. It seems to never fail that when it's actually time to GO to bed, she gets insane. Silliness, tickling little sister, farting, screaming, running, etc - about half the time, she ends up spewing hateful things at us, but the other half, she just gets wound up and gets crazier and louder. When we try to get her attention to stop, she acts like she can't hear us (yes, we've had her hearing tested). We end up grabbing her, or yelling, or otherwise responding in anger after awhile. She does this at various times during the day, but not every day. It seems more predictable at the end of the day, regardless of whether or not it's been an easy day, hard day, long day, active day, fun day, crabby day, busy day, slow day, good eating day, junk food day, playing day, etc.
I have read "how to talk to kids" and "unconditional parenting" - those books just make me feel like a failure because the methods don't work. I've tried punishment or rewards only. I've tried ignoring - I've tried getting on her level - I've tried addressing her needs before she gets wild - nothing works! We've consulted a family therapist, and her methods didn't work. The family doctor prescribed homeopathic remedies, but when she's angry, she won't do them. Then, once she has spouted her anger and used up her energy (usually less than 15 minutes), she turns back into the sweet, well mannered, thoughtful child that she is most of the time.
It just makes everyone get angry, and I'm at my wits' end.
So, my question is: is this just normal?