I don't know, I honestly don't.
Except that your DH doesn't "need" you--not like the kids need you--he's an adult. I'm sure he's tired at the end of the day, but so are you. If you are a bit unavailable sometimes, he can deal. You can email/call/text while you're apart to try and keep that connection going. But I'd rather my marriage suffer than my kids suffer or I run myself totally ragged, kwim? So your DH may have to do some stuff you would normally do, or not have your attention/companionship for an hour here and there so that you can go recharge yourself.
Also, getting the older kid out of the house and around other kids during the day helps a lot if you can manage it.
When you NEED that time to yourself, you've just got to take it! Hand DH the baby after nursing, give the toddler a snack/activity and walk out the door. Say you'll be back in one hour. Go to Starbucks and read a book or something. Or lock the bathroom door, put on headphones and take a hot bath.
Again, I am really not the best person to ask about this, but that's what I think. Everyone keeps saying it gets easier when they get older, so I'm clinging to that!
Oh yeah and avoid pregnancy for the time being!
