DS is going on 3 & I feel like his attention span is just getting worse and worse. I feel like it's nearly impossible to engage him in any kind of activity. Coloring -- he'll make one mark on the paper (always with black!!) and he's done. Crafts -- 2mins tops. Fine motor activities (his favorite) I can get almost 3mins out of him. Things like puzzles usually involve me doing most of the puzzle while he pretends he doesn't know where the pieces go (seriously... he obviously knows where they go) and he'll set up games and play them for one round before making a mess of the game board. Running around outside - 30 seconds. Taking a walk - 2mins. You get the idea... No matter what we do, it never lasts more than a minute or two. And he has virtually no ability to entertain himself (doesn't really play) so I just can't figure out what to do with him all day. We end up reading a lot, I don't understand how he can sit & listen to books for an hour straight but won't do anything else. Oh and listening to music, that's about the only other thing he will focus on. I end up feeling really frustrated because he just won't DO anything. I'd love for some independent activity but that's so out of reach, I just want him to engage in a joint activity for 5 or 10mins!! I feel like he's bored and when I introduce new activities, he seems interested at first, but it never lasts. Sometimes the activities are a bit too easy so I come up with really hard ones and that will give us an extra minute but that's it & if it's too hard he won't even try. Maybe my expectations are completely unrealistic... how long is your ~3yo's attention span???
And I can't figure out discipline at all. Redirection doesn't work anymore, reasoning only works 25% of the time, logical consequences & natural consequences are only about 10% effective, if that. Lately I've been making crazy & unreasonable threats (like, "If you can't be quiet, we are never coming back to the library again!") and obviously they don't work but it's just my frustration level is so high that I don't know what else to do. Time-outs would traumatize him because he is terrified of being away from me (when the discipline involves him being rough with me or something, DH will take him into another room to get him away from me... he can't seem to be in a room by himself even for a few seconds, he is truly too scared). Time-ins just make him silly, he thinks it's a game. Reading calms him down almost instantly but in many situations just doesn't feel appropriate (too much of a reward, I guess?) He won't get dressed, won't brush his teeth, won't stop damaging & destroying the house, won't stop screaming, won't stop climbing on me, won't stop doing dangerous things, I feel like we have absolutely no ability to keep him somewhat well-behaved & respectful of personal boundaries & property. It's hard to feel connected with him because I feel like he's operating on some completely different plane. He is highly verbal & has great comprehension and an amazing ability to read between the lines & decipher what DH & I are saying when we're trying to be subtle or secretive. So I know he understands what's expected of him & why and what the consequences might be & all, he just doesn't seem to care.
And I can't figure out discipline at all. Redirection doesn't work anymore, reasoning only works 25% of the time, logical consequences & natural consequences are only about 10% effective, if that. Lately I've been making crazy & unreasonable threats (like, "If you can't be quiet, we are never coming back to the library again!") and obviously they don't work but it's just my frustration level is so high that I don't know what else to do. Time-outs would traumatize him because he is terrified of being away from me (when the discipline involves him being rough with me or something, DH will take him into another room to get him away from me... he can't seem to be in a room by himself even for a few seconds, he is truly too scared). Time-ins just make him silly, he thinks it's a game. Reading calms him down almost instantly but in many situations just doesn't feel appropriate (too much of a reward, I guess?) He won't get dressed, won't brush his teeth, won't stop damaging & destroying the house, won't stop screaming, won't stop climbing on me, won't stop doing dangerous things, I feel like we have absolutely no ability to keep him somewhat well-behaved & respectful of personal boundaries & property. It's hard to feel connected with him because I feel like he's operating on some completely different plane. He is highly verbal & has great comprehension and an amazing ability to read between the lines & decipher what DH & I are saying when we're trying to be subtle or secretive. So I know he understands what's expected of him & why and what the consequences might be & all, he just doesn't seem to care.
