3 month old STILL eating every 1 1/2-2 hours around the clock...help!!

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Is there any way to lengthen the time between feeds...at least at night? I am beyond tired and it is making every other aspect of parenting (especially AP) very challenging. I tend to be a purist...with myself at least, I'm much less judgemental of others :/, and I have been feeding on demand and hesitant to try to put off feeding him. But here's the thing. Ihave massive oversupply, and he's already doubled his birthweight...does he really NEED to be eating every 2 hours? He does take a pacifier, anf if he's not interested in eating he makes that very clear and wants the paci. A friend of mine recommended I try tp put off feeding him as long as possible when he wakes at night (i.e. keep putting the paci in until he is REALLY fussing for food) and that he will eventually learn to hold off on feeds a bit longer. I'm just worried about how this will effect his mental health? Maybe it wont and I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed, so everything I do feels like I'm harming his mental health :(

He will take a bottle (I was on nipple rest and exclusively pumping or 4 days around the 7 week PP mark) and especially since I ordered the medela calma nipple...from the UK no less...he's fine with it. Any idead anyone? I'm an exhausted mess.

btw I am aware that this may be a growth spurt we're going through. As a newborn he was pretty reliable for a couple 3 hour stretches every night, but in the last 3 weeks it has been up EVERY night at 11, 1, 3:15 (I kid you not), 5, 7:30, and the finally totally up at 9. He grazes all day, eats at least 15 times every 24 hours. Seriously. I need some sleep!!

TIA

[PatioGardener]

Are you nursing while lying down? I found that, with practice, I got so we could both sleep and nurse at the same time. That saved me!

My little guy nursed every 90 minutes around the clock for his first 4 months of life. That was his normal. He gained well, but needed to nurse. He would not take a pacifier.

Wearing him and nursing while sleeping were both really helpful.

Hang in there - it does get better.

[etsdtm99]

are you co-sleeping? that is the best advice i have - my babies have all done this - my first early on & my other 2 started it after 4 months .. cosleeping has saved me - i would not be able to do it without just rolling over, latching on and going right back to sleep.. for me, trying to put off feedings at night was just more night wakings as my kids (the ones who took pacis and all) never 'learned' to just not want food..  i also had oversupply - have you tried block feeding for that? that might help  that is the only thing i did differently with my 2nd and 3rd that seemed to help them sleep longer when they were tiny ...

oh and my kids all kept their day time eating habits from 0-12/15 months seriously..  the idea that they eat more less often is a bottle feeding idea.. breastfed babies  normally nurse on the same 'schedule' for the better part of the first year or longer..  at least during the day .. many do start to sleep longer stretches but.. many don't ...

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Hey ladies...thanks for the replies and ideas!! I do cosleep and nurse him lying down...however, I have to move him from one side to the other and at 15 lbs 5, 6, 7 times a night, my back is killing me. :( Maybe I'm doing it wrong?

PatioGardener- thanks for the hugs and reassurance...I sure hope you are right!

Staci- I was block feeding in 4 hour blocks for 3 weeks and it didnt do much...though if I could block feed him at night it would take a lot of stress off my back so I will def be implementing that starting tonight, thanks!!

Last night baby ate last at 10, and when he woke up at 1 I just put the paci in, jiggled him for a minute, and he went back to sleep for another 1 1/2 hours...I havent had four hours of sleep like that in a looooonh time, so I may just try to keep doing thay when I can get away with it...he smiled at me this morning so I'm assuming I havent ruined him!!! Parenting is a constant game of second guessing yourself isnt it??

[McGucks]

Hi, tired mama.  The only thing I can tell you is that pillows behind my back are very helpful...even a wadded-up blanket takes some of the stress off.

My sweet baby is 20 months old and is still up every hour, more or less, at night.  I am completely at my wit's end.  We also co-sleep and nurse...nursing is the only way I have ever been able to get him back to sleep.  I will also say that my first child did NOT co-sleep and weaned at 15 months.  He still slept like crap.  The only difference between them is that with this child, I can get him back to sleep fairly easily with nursing.

I would be seriously considering having a 3rd child were it not for the sleep problem.  It is just terrible.

Wishing you a lovely nap...

[Hannahkatiebell]

Sounds to me like you're doing the right things. My mom always has to force me into making nighttime parenting changes. Like, it's time to stop swaddling or to stop using the wedge or the mobile, etc... Funny, but I need to b pushed into these things.

[McGucks]

p.s.:  Your daughter, if that's her in your avatar, is absolutely beautiful.

[Megan73]

Yep, I'd guess growth spurt although I think many three-month-olds do eat that often. I would not try to delay feeds with a babe that young.
I think you'll find that you can change breasts without rolling over or moving your babe. I stay on my left side and just kind of lean back to nurse on my bottom breast and forward to nurse off the top one.
It's totally typical, BTW, for a BF baby to double birthweight between three and four months. Kellymom.com has some great info on normal infant growth.

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Originally Posted by caedenmomma 

Hi, tired mama.  The only thing I can tell you is that pillows behind my back are very helpful...even a wadded-up blanket takes some of the stress off.

My sweet baby is 20 months old and is still up every hour, more or less, at night.  I am completely at my wit's end.  We also co-sleep and nurse...nursing is the only way I have ever been able to get him back to sleep.  I will also say that my first child did NOT co-sleep and weaned at 15 months.  He still slept like crap.  The only difference between them is that with this child, I can get him back to sleep fairly easily with nursing.

I would be seriously considering having a 3rd child were it not for the sleep problem.  It is just terrible.

Wishing you a lovely nap...

 Oh you are in my thoughts!! you have it much worse than I do...my boy will fall asleep with a paci, being bounced/walked around, or just over my shoulder. He'll also stay asleep alone, just never for very long :(

I'm hoping you get some very serious sleep very soon...I'm just worried about going back to work FT this sleep deprived. Two weeks left of maternity leave...sigh

Originally Posted by Hannahkatiebell 

Sounds to me like you're doing the right things. My mom always has to force me into making nighttime parenting changes. Like, it's time to stop swaddling or to stop using the wedge or the mobile, etc... Funny, but I need to b pushed into these things.

It is funny isn't it? In my case I was so bummed to find that instant "you'll know what to do" thing was wrong that I'm sure it has to do with my pride. For example I know letting DH give baby a bottle with expressed bm once at night would be amazing, just cant bring myself to do it even though we're past the point of nipple preference and a decrease in my supply would actually be a blessing!

Originally Posted by Megan73 

Yep, I'd guess growth spurt although I think many three-month-olds do eat that often. I would not try to delay feeds with a babe that young.
I think you'll find that you can change breasts without rolling over or moving your babe. I stay on my left side and just kind of lean back to nurse on my bottom breast and forward to nurse off the top one.
It's totally typical, BTW, for a BF baby to double birthweight between three and four months. Kellymom.com has some great info on normal infant growth.

Oh mama I am so jealous...even completely deflated my boobs are still to small for me to pull off the nursing from the top breast thing :( How often do women wish for saggier breasts? I think the longer the better these days!! I use Kellymom a lot for myself and clients, so I know this is all withing normal limits, I'm just wondering if maybe he doesnt really need to eat as much as I think he does. It's my default for everything, and sometimes he will flat out scream and cry when I try to offer the breast, I think maybe because he doesn't want it. Im new to parenting though so I sometimes can't think of what else to do for him, and I have a weird aversion to him crying at ALL (even though I know it's ok and normal to cry sometimes just cause...in arms of course). He spits up a TON, and has the hiccups all the time, and since he's not showing any signs of more seiours GI issues, my guess is he's just eating too much. I mean, that's what I would assume if a FF baby was doing the same thing...just wondering if I'm overfeeding him and he's too tired or enjoys sucking too much to fight me on it? I dont know...all of the answers I have are for everyone else. For myself? I'm a mess :(

[Megan73]

Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil 


Oh mama I am so jealous...even completely deflated my boobs are still to small for me to pull off the nursing from the top breast thing How often do women wish for saggier breasts? I think the longer the better these days!! I use Kellymom a lot for myself and clients, so I know this is all withing normal limits, I'm just wondering if maybe he doesnt really need to eat as much as I think he does. It's my default for everything, and sometimes he will flat out scream and cry when I try to offer the breast, I think maybe because he doesn't want it. Im new to parenting though so I sometimes can't think of what else to do for him, and I have a weird aversion to him crying at ALL (even though I know it's ok and normal to cry sometimes just cause...in arms of course). He spits up a TON, and has the hiccups all the time, and since he's not showing any signs of more seiours GI issues, my guess is he's just eating too much. I mean, that's what I would assume if a FF baby was doing the same thing...just wondering if I'm overfeeding him and he's too tired or enjoys sucking too much to fight me on it? I dont know...all of the answers I have are for everyone else. For myself? I'm a mess

I'm glad my saggy old boobs are good for something - although I'd still rather have perky ones! I really don't think you have to worry about overfeeding - spitting up is really normal infant behavior and both of mine (one a skinny babe and the other roly poly) have been major spitters and as you said, your LO's growth is well within the range for a BF babe. I personally think sticking a boob in their mouth at every peep is what moms have done since the beginning of time. If he doesn't want the breast, he's letting you know and taking a pacifier - which neither of mine were willing to do ever.
And yeah, I find it easier to come up with answers for everyone else. Hugs, it gets better!

[etsdtm99]

you're not messing anything up and nursing by default is the best parenting strategy  there is for an infant!  you should give yourself a break and do whatever you think will make it better..  no reason to feel guilty..  

i do have another idea for you though.   I would seriously consider thinking about your diet - maybe try eliminating some major allergens for a few weeks and see if it makes a difference..(probably dairy)   with that much spit up, your over supply etc.  does he also have green poop?  any rashes etc?  you're right that that spit up and all that can be caused by oversupply BUT for many mothers  and babies it is a food intolerance ..  my babies have all had that and #2 and #3 i eliminated most dairy and the spit up stopped and my oversupply calmed down (this worked at 3 weeks with my 3rd so i know it wasn't a hormone shift) - now it took me 3 kids to figure out that I have a dairy allergy and one of MY reactions is oversupply .. awesome, right?   in general, breastfed babies can't over eat... if your oversupply is that bad though you should keep block feeding even if it doesn't seem to help much - baby's symptoms could also be caused by too much foremilk and block feeding might help with that if your oversupply is really really bad - 4 hour blocks might not be enough ..  have you also cut out any foods that make you make more milk like oats/oatmeal ?  (i know there are more, but most aren't normal foods in the US so oatmeal would be the big one, some moms react really dramatically to oatmeal.. even now at 15 months i get full and leak if i have an oatmeal cookie ) 

if your back is bothering you that much you might want to see a chiropractor ;)  I had horrible back pain with my first and i was able to do the lean over and not roll over thing with night nursing - it didn't help, but the chiropractor helped a ton.  my back hasn't hurt at all with #2 and #3

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Originally Posted by Megan73 


I'm glad my saggy old boobs are good for something - although I'd still rather have perky ones!

LOL...I wasn't trying to insinuate that your boobs are saggy, just that I wish mine were :)

I'm sure your boobs are lovely
 

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Staci- My only problem with block feeding during the day now is that I'm going back to work soon and will be pumping at work, and I can't pump just one...especially considering how much less action my breasts will be getting!!! I'm actually hoping that going from 8ish feeds between the hous of 7am and 4pm to 3 pumping sessions in that block of time will help to reduce my supply to managable levels. I have completely gone off galactogogues, no oatmeal or fennel for me :) Still kind of frustrating.

The idea of a food intolerance is intriguing. I already very rarely consume dairy (cheese if ever, I dont drink milk) as I have a slight allergy myself. Porbably wouldnt hurt to cut it out entirely though, thanks for the idea! It is more likely that it could be a soy intolerance though, I tend to eat alot of soy products and I understand that's a high allergy food too.

[snanna]

You're getting some good advice here! I thought I'd throw out a trick I found for moving big babies around in the bed at night-- I put them down on a couple layers of receiving blankets under their whole body, and when it's time to switch sides I sit up and slide them over by holding onto the edge of the blankets. It has the advantage of catching nursing drips or spitup too. Another trick is to just roll over with the baby in your arms, pressed against your chest. My second baby was so heavy I got tendonitis in my wrists from moving him around, so I feel you!

[Hannahkatiebell]

I was going to mention the milk sensitivity, too. My DS has one and his spitting is sooooooooo slight now that I've cut out all milk products. Look at breads, etc.

[cat13]

Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil 

 Oh you are in my thoughts!! you have it much worse than I do...my boy will fall asleep with a paci, being bounced/walked around, or just over my shoulder. He'll also stay asleep alone, just never for very long :(

I'm hoping you get some very serious sleep very soon...I'm just worried about going back to work FT this sleep deprived. Two weeks left of maternity leave...sigh

It is funny isn't it? In my case I was so bummed to find that instant "you'll know what to do" thing was wrong that I'm sure it has to do with my pride. For example I know letting DH give baby a bottle with expressed bm once at night would be amazing, just cant bring myself to do it even though we're past the point of nipple preference and a decrease in my supply would actually be a blessing!

Oh mama I am so jealous...even completely deflated my boobs are still to small for me to pull off the nursing from the top breast thing :( How often do women wish for saggier breasts? I think the longer the better these days!! I use Kellymom a lot for myself and clients, so I know this is all withing normal limits, I'm just wondering if maybe he doesnt really need to eat as much as I think he does. It's my default for everything, and sometimes he will flat out scream and cry when I try to offer the breast, I think maybe because he doesn't want it. Im new to parenting though so I sometimes can't think of what else to do for him, and I have a weird aversion to him crying at ALL (even though I know it's ok and normal to cry sometimes just cause...in arms of course). He spits up a TON, and has the hiccups all the time, and since he's not showing any signs of more seiours GI issues, my guess is he's just eating too much. I mean, that's what I would assume if a FF baby was doing the same thing...just wondering if I'm overfeeding him and he's too tired or enjoys sucking too much to fight me on it? I dont know...all of the answers I have are for everyone else. For myself? I'm a mess :(

I had the exact same problem too, as my boobs are A/B size. But I did find that between 3 and 4 months DS was big enough and had enough head/neck strength that it finally did work. It's not super comfortable to feed from the "top" boob, so I usually only do it when I'm really too tired to move him, but it works now.  Also, on nights where DS is waking up so often, I feed twice on the same side before switching. It makes it much easier on me, and since he's eating so often anyway, my other boob doesn't have time to get engorged before it gets a turn.
 

Originally Posted by snanna 

You're getting some good advice here! I thought I'd throw out a trick I found for moving big babies around in the bed at night-- I put them down on a couple layers of receiving blankets under their whole body, and when it's time to switch sides I sit up and slide them over by holding onto the edge of the blankets. It has the advantage of catching nursing drips or spitup too. Another trick is to just roll over with the baby in your arms, pressed against your chest. My second baby was so heavy I got tendonitis in my wrists from moving him around, so I feel you!

I am totally going to try this tonight! Thanks!
 

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Thanks mamas...:) Gonna try ALL of that!!

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil 

Im new to parenting though so I sometimes can't think of what else to do for him, and I have a weird aversion to him crying at ALL (even though I know it's ok and normal to cry sometimes just cause...in arms of course).

Mama, this is not a weird aversion! This is normal mothering behaviour! This is how we as humans have survived as a species! We take care of our babies and do our best so they don't cry. Sometimes they cry - we can't prevent all crying, but we work as best we can to minimize it.

You're normal - just doing the best you can like the rest of us

[silversparrow]

co-sleeping while nursing kills my back too, I found that using my nursing pillow helped if I rest my head om one end with the rest curled around behind my back.

Also for oversupply you can try drinking some sage tea. One-two cups a days for three days and see if that helps. It's possible with over supply that he getting lots of watery foremilk (though I know some people say there's no such thing as foremilk/ hindmilk, so that's why i say possible) and needing to feed frequently. This is especially applicable if your LO has watery/ foamy green poos. Mine did until my supply calmed dwn.

If you haven't already try to keep him awake (by talking to him, undressing him, burping etc) to drink as long as possible and use breast compressions (after the volcanic-type let down is over) to get as much into him at once as possible. 

You can also try pumping for the first let-down to get the foremilk off and then feeding him for the hindmilk.

I found that doing all these things got him from sleeping 3-4 hrs at night to 6 or 7.... until he hit 5.5 months... but that's diff story...

hope that helps!

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Touche :) thanks for the words of assurance. Good to know it's not the result of some of my own poor attachment issues!!