Visiting grandparents out of state, is this kidnapping?

[Joplusone]

The short version:

My ex fiance gave me permission via email to leave the state to visit extended family for Christmas after I sent him the travel itinerary.  Now, he's mad at me for having an attorney and wanting mediation instead of direct discussion, so he told me I wasn't allowed to leave the state with DD and he would report it as kidnapping if I did go.

The long version:

My ex fiance and I separated before DD was born, and he has only seen her a handful of times.  Every time he asks, I let him, but it is sporadic. He has cancelled before.  About a month and a half ago, my ex and I filed a stipulated petition (stipulated=in agreement) for me to have sole custody and all of the parenting time.  Part of the documentation said that if I wanted to go on out of state trips, I needed to give him at least 48 hours' notice.  One of the papers (the Judgement, the very last paper the case needs) was later returned to him by the court clerk for being incomplete (it needed a few more boxes checked and a CS worksheet attached), and my ex decided he didn't like the previous agreement, but aside from threatening to tell CPS that DD needs to be taken away from me, he hasn't really done anything.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, my father suggested that I come to visit for Christmas and New Year (I had already flown out with DD to visit for Thanksgiving, with my ex's permission), I sent the itinerary, with return date included, to my ex.  He emailed me back saying that it was fine.  A couple days ago, my attorney suggested that she call my ex and explain that the easiest way to get things settled was for him to resubmit the one paper of the stack that had been returned to him for correction.  Now, he called me and told me that since I was not being cooperative (I've been telling him that we need to do mediation), he revokes his permission for me to leave the state and will report it as kidnapping if I do.

My plan is to continue to go, but have the certified copy of the papers he filed saying I could leave the state with adequate notice as well as a copy of the email saying that it was fine for me to leave. Can I go?  Can he report that as kidnapping?  It doesn't interfere with his parenting time, as he hasn't requested any visits for that time.  He might just be bluffing, but I'm worried that he means it.  I have told him that I am returning on the date on the itinerary and that I have no intent to kidnap DD.

PS - I would ask an attorney, but I wasn't able to get a hold of her, and I'm leaving in the morning on Monday.  I'm considering calling the police department and asking if leaving for a two week visit would be kidnapping.

Oh, and this is in the state of Oregon.

[minnowmomma]

Notice is not the same thing as permission,notice just notifies him of your plans and if i read correctly that is all you have to do,permission gives him the right to say yes or no.So in future i would just notify him where i intend to go,he doesn't need a step by step plan unless he is trying to meet you along the way and he can't revoke "permission "verbally it has to be court ordered.If he wants to go to the police let him waste a few hours.I wouldn't worry about it.

[Avani]

You have sole custody & an email from him granting permission. You're good. I would send contact the local police & tell them situation so they know ahead of time in case he does try to claim kidnapping. Give them a copy of your stipulation & the email & tell your ex what you did. Then go & have fun.

[Avani]

And yOu don't need his permission. Just email him the 48 hr notice and you have your proof of being in compliance.

[hillymum]

My understanding is that you would only be in trouble if there is a signed court order stating you can not take your child/ren out of state. If there is no such order then you are good to go.

[Joplusone]

Alright, update: I went to the police station and asked someone there. He said that they don't do anything unless there is an order from the court saying that I can't go.  As it is, I have several copies of the email my ex sent me saying I could go and several copies of the papers he and I filed together. Come hell or high water, DD is going to get to see her grandparents for Christmas.  

Thanks, you guys, for your help.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I'm with the pp's. You're good to go. The ONLY time a court would consider it kidnapping is if you left without notice, when there was a court order stating that it was not your time to spend with the child. In your situation, there is NO WAY it would kidnapping. You're not interfering with his visitation, you aren't doing anything illegal. Just go.