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Unassisted Homebirth Right for me

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

Looking for opinions.

 

This is my second baby and really would like a homebirth. Not sure I can afford an at home midwife and not sure I want one. I have a midwife I am seeing but she doesn't do homebirths. I am 35 in ok shape. My body and I have a very good relationship. It is healthy but out of shape and I would know if I felt I really needed to go to the hospital.

 

My last baby I had last May, he came 6 weeks early for no apparent reason. My water broke at noon, labor didn't start for 5 hours and I was not dilated. Then at 5pm labor struck dilated to 8cm in 2 hours then another 2 hours of labor and then a few pushes and he was out.

 

He was healthy and fine. 5 pounds exactly with high apgars though not sure that means much.

 

My questioning is am I too old? What books are really great for unassisted homebirths and I think I may have a friend come who is a doula.

post #2 of 9

I have no advice, I have to have a c-section, but I wanted to urge you on.  The women here are amazing and have always been great at answering questions for others.  I would say, if your DH is game and you have all the supplies then DO it!!

 

I don't think I would ever do an unassisted birth personally, but I would do a homebirth in a heartbeat if my situation had been different.

post #3 of 9

I have no practical advice just encouragment for whatever you decide! I wanted a home birth but the only support I got was my sister - I have resigned myself to a hospital birth and have done  and am doing everything I can to make it natural as possible and my MD has been great! but it is great that you have options and are exploring it!

post #4 of 9

First, I understand you wanting a homebirth and not being able to afford a midwife.  I also want to say, I think it's important to feel comfortable with your birth choices.

 

That being said, if your first came early, your second might come earlier.  Giving birth to a pre-term baby (which, 34 weeks is pre-term) can be really dangerous.  Although it turned out fine last time, the next baby might not be so lucky.               

 

A homebirth midwife won't (and shouldn't!) deliver a pre-term baby at home, so anything under 37 weeks, and a competent midwife would send you straight to the hospital.

 

Honestly, I don't think it has anything at all to do with your age-- but with a history of pre-term birth, I wouldn't chance unassisted anything.  That's a recipe for Bad Things.

 

I mean, I don't want to sound like a scare-monger or anything, but... I really think this is something you need to consider carefully.  

Best of luck with your pregnancy and I hope you come to a decision that is comfortable and right for you.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

post #5 of 9

Could you see an OB then if you go past 38 weeks plan on having a UC? 

post #6 of 9

I would UC a baby past 36.5/37 weeks, unless I had any indication that there was something else going on and my gut wasn't grumbling at me to seek care. But that's MY comfort level, based on MY experience and "birthing world view".  You gotta go with what works for you. I'd be more comfortable working with a MW/OB for a backup and then any time past my comfort level for gestation, UCing. The fact that you had a really early baby (who was healthy, no problems) makes me more, not less, comfortable with you birthing an "early bird". You don't want to mess around with under developed lungs, that's for sure, but the fact that you baked your first for less time and he was fine makes me more inclined to think that maybe you're just that kind of "baker". Were your dates definitely spot on for that baby? The size you mentioned is pretty right on for a baby of that gestational age.

 

I don't think that not being able to afford HB should be THE reason to UC....but I know an awful lot of people who started on the path to UC because of cost and not really being around a "hot spot" of homebirth midwives and ended up LOVING UC and birthing that way for all of their births. A lot of people are initially drawn to UC through trying to problem solve around not being able to HB with a MW for whatever reason.

 

No one can tell you how to prepare for UC, I know some women who are more like me and need to absolutely THROW themselves into research...and I know some women who really stick to "softer" sources of information (Ina Mays books, birth story books, etc) and end up as knowledgeable as they think they need to be and birth well at home.

 

 

Oh and NO, you are not too old...come on, lady, don't make me go all "psycho birth nut" on you!!! bouncy.gif You're thirty-five, not sixty. Don't let them get to you like that bro!!

post #7 of 9

Oh...and here are some links I love:

 

Go through this whole site, it's just full of really interesting info and stories, etc: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/uc/whatisuc.html

 

Sometimes this site can feel a little kooky.... http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html  but if you hit the link I've given and look to the left side of the screen, scroll down through those topics and hidden amongst things you may not really be interested in reading "pros and cons of this or that" blah blah....are little nuggets of information that I LOVED when I was preparing for birth the last two times...things like their variations of normal page.... http://www.unhinderedliving.com/variations.html <---- Love it. So, really poke around that site and look past some of the things that might be boring or kooky or whatever and you'll find some really great stuff.

 

Good MDC link for resources: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/252628/unassisted-birth-resources

 

Look around dudette! Get lost on hte internet for a few days and write down the book recommendations, see what you can get used on Amazon for practically nothing...and enjoy!

post #8 of 9
Thread Starter 

Well really its not so much we can't afford a midwife for homebirth its more that I want the birth to be personal and private.

 

The only midwife in the area who does homebirths is uncertified in anything  (not that I think you need to go to school to solely gain knowledge) and she has some deaths involved in her births. Which I know is inevitable but still I felt alittle off about someone with a few deaths or more under her belt. Maybe I should just speak to her. I heard the info from a doula.

 

Thanks Everyone!

 

 

Oh and thanks alot broodywoodsy girl for the links. I appreciate it and your right I shouldn't give in to the old mom thing. I don't look it, I don't feel it and 3 generations or more of women on both sides of my family have had healthy children at home after 40!

post #9 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by mudsummer View Post

Oh and thanks alot broodywoodsy girl for the links. I appreciate it and your right I shouldn't give in to the old mom thing. I don't look it, I don't feel it and 3 generations or more of women on both sides of my family have had healthy children at home after 40!



EXACTLY.

 

Some women over the age of 35 aren't as physically fit for birth. Some women over a certain age will run into problems with deteriorating placentas or whatever else they say the "dangers" are. BUT....there are a whole HOST of problems that women who are much younger than that can run into because of diet, overall health,family history, whatever else. Having a poor diet and/or being in poor health overall puts you at MUCH higher risk for pretty much EVERYTHING than being over 35.

 

If you were forty, but you told me some days you feel fifty because you're so out of shape and your overall health is so bad...then I might tell you something different. But if you've birthed before, are in good shape, have a good diet and are an overall healthy person with strong birthers (especially past a certain age) in your family history...I wouldn't think about your age for a moment.

 

To be completely honest, I wouldn't start thinking about my age as being a problem until I was past 45. I just wouldn't. A lot of the degeneration and "Age related problems" are, in my opinion, as a result of long term deficiencies and improper nutrition. The diets of women in our country, even the ones who think they eat a relatively healthy diet, are horrible. Our bodies are NOT supported properly by our diets and we wreak havoc with our hormones with contaminated meats, soy in everything and pasteurized and irradiated foods.

 

We are not getting the nutrition we need to remain vital producers of healthy children for as long as we could, I believe, if we were all eating good, fresh, clean whole foods. Anyway...you guys have already heard that rant from me!

 

 

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