I'm a SAHM to a 15 mo toddler. DH works long hours and spends very little time with DS even when he is at home, so DS is really attached to me. He never lets me out of sight. I can't even go to the bathroom alone, he follows me everywhere. Most days I'm so tired by the time he goes to sleep in the night and off-late, he's been nursing 4-5 times in the night. If I try to wake up before he does in the mornings, he wakes up with me! When I'm in the kitchen, he's constantly tugging my legs and if I carry him, he pulls everything he can reach. Most days I'm ok but some days, I lose my temper and raise my voice slightly at him, knowing fully well that he is not doing anything intentionally. Today, I had eaten very little all day and at about 8:15 in the night, went to fix dinner for myself and he started fussing and pulling my pants. I didn't want to carry him as he'd be near a very hot pan. But the tugging went on and I completely lost my temper and yelled at him really loud and made him sit in the high chair with some clementines just to keep him occupied but he didn't want to sit. So finally I had dinner with him on my hips and I started crying really bad after that from exhaustion and hunger. After a few minutes, we were playing on the couch and he fell down on the floor and hit his head on the base of the table and started crying. For a brief moment, I was happy. I CAN'T BELIEVE I was happy he fell down. I nursed him and he calmed down immediately. But I cried so hard, for about 5 minutes about how I felt earlier. I feel like I need therapy!
Any suggestions to make sure I don't feel burned out? Asking DH to take care of him for more than 15 minutes everyday and 1 hour once in a while is not on option.
ETA: DH keeps insisting that I send him to a daycare for 2 days a week to take the load off of me and for him to get used to other people. But personally, I'm not interested in sending him to a daycare at least at this point in time. He keeps saying I'm spoiling him by being there for him all the time.
Edited by maba - 12/17/11 at 9:04pm