ummm...the OP didn't ask for her marriage to be analyzed.
not that your points are not valid, but the real question was about stress and working around her current situation.
I would look into borrowing a preteen girl to be a baby watcher while you do your chores, save paid babysitters to go and do something fun for yourself every week...the gym is good, but please workout, exercise helps with stress better than anything. Give him 15 mins at a time..we are talking about gently learning to be separate from you, not dissertation. Don't make a big fuss when you leave or when you come back..this isn't a big deal no mater how much he tries to make you think it is.
be preemptive, if you know you have to deal with the stove...put him in a high chair with a snack or treat first..play pen is also not a bad idea. If he yells, so what..now I'm not saying let him cry it out...I expect that you will be in sight talking to him, doing dishes or what ever, but he needs to learn that you can be away from him and you have a right to contain him in a safe place. You as an adult have rights to being treated decently, and this is the first step to teaching your child all sorts of thing he needs to learn. Like to wait his turn, that no means no and it isn't the end of the world if mommy can't get to your needs immediately , she loves you and is coming.
This is not the same as using it as a all day baby cage. This is to protect your sanity and the safety of your child.
I wish you the best luck in the world. I have so been right where you are.