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Exhausted Mother has a confession to make - Page 3

post #41 of 43

ummm...the OP didn't ask for her marriage to be analyzed.

 

not that your points are not valid, but the real question was about stress and working around her current situation.

 

that said...

 

I would look into borrowing a preteen girl to be a baby watcher while you do your chores, save paid babysitters to go and do something fun for yourself every week...the gym is good, but please workout, exercise helps with stress better than anything. Give him 15 mins at a time..we are talking about gently learning to be separate from you, not dissertation. Don't make a big fuss when you leave or when you come back..this isn't a big deal no mater how much he tries to make you think it is.

 

be preemptive, if you know you have to deal with the stove...put him in a high chair with a snack or treat first..play pen is also not a bad idea. If he yells, so what..now I'm not saying let him cry it out...I expect that you will be in sight talking to him, doing dishes or what ever, but he needs to learn that you can be away from him and you have a right to contain him in a safe place. You as an adult have rights to being treated decently, and this is the first step to teaching your child all sorts of thing he needs to learn. Like to wait his turn, that no means no and it isn't the end of the world if mommy can't get to your needs immediately , she loves you and is coming.

 

This is not the same as using it as a all day baby cage. This is to protect your sanity and the safety of your child.

 

I wish you the best luck in the world. I have so been right where you are.

post #42 of 43

There is nothing wrong with closing the door with your lo on the other side to go to the bathroom.  Even if they are banging on the door the whole time.  It is annoying sure- but it won't hurt them.  Embrace your high chair- you can pull it over by the sink while doing dishes or cooking or whatever.  Fun toys and a snack and he will learn to deal with it.  You have to take care of your needs as well as your lo's- and that means eating, showering, and having a minute to yourself in the bathroom.  Little ones cry and it isn't crying it out.  

 

Letting the sitter/childcare at the gym work through things will take some time- but it will never happen if you don't let them try.  They will page you if there is a problem- don't worry- they probably won't let them cry it out for an hour and a half- no one wants to listen to that- trust me....

 

I say probably because when DD was almost 3 we tried out a sitter for a day or so a week.  She let DD cry it out for a whole day and didn't call me.  Yeah... that was short lived....  So if you feel more comfortable- tell them 20 minutes or whatever and if he isn't calmed down to call you.  

 

 

post #43 of 43

Don't have much to add to the other posts (or at least the first few ;-). I just want to say i think you should really reconcider getting some much needed alone time. I say this because I believe it to not only be beneficial to you but also to your son and dh as well.   If you still don't want to go that route then I might suggest you try new things to distract your ds while you are cooking etc. around the house and maybe to take him out to the mall if he sleeps well in a stroller. He could sleep, you could get out of the house, and he wouldn't be in daycare.

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