First-time mamas! - Page 8 « Back to Group Discussions

[Sol_y_Paz]

LilyTiger, Good luck with your projects!  Your house sound very colorful.  Love it.   As far as selling we are using craigslist, etsy, and ebay and have given ourselves a time limit then everything goes to donation.  We did garage sales in the past but we don't have enough left for that this time unless we bundle with others, but at this point I would rather spend my energy making freezer meals.  I agree with you on the having random people coming over.  We tend to meet most people away from the house unless it is a high cost item and difficult to move.    
Eleuthia, That is awesome you have a stroller already!   

MonkeyScience, loved hearing more about how your parents handled this issue.  I am also unsure of what baby really needs or doesn't need as a first time mom.  This weekend I learned boys clothes on average were cheaper than girls clothes but less cute.  Sorry you are struggling with those thoughts about baby .  We weren't on artificial birth control for around 3 years and had taken blood tests to check out things so I was quite thrilled when I found out I was pregnant.  Can't wait to hear about your anatomy scan!  We are having a boy and he wasn't very cooperative.  Unlike your dad our doctor said it is the girls who are more cooperative in general.  LOL

[pennywhistle]

MonkeyScience: I'm in your boat in terms of having no space for a nursery.  Our apartment is pretty small - 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a kitchen and a joint dining room/living room.  The second bedroom is my husband's office right now, since he's a student and needs a desk space at home, so we're going to have to find a way to share the space between baby stuff and desk/computer/school stuff.  The grey colour scheme might be a perfect solution, actually, since that will keep the room from being too nursery-ish.

[Knitting Mama]

Gonna be honest, we didn't use almost any of the larger equipment or even the nursery itself when Cecilia came. I think the only things we used regularly were and still are the changing table and the dresser. She slept with us, we never used the pack n play for anything other than storage, same with the crib. And since we didn't get a rocker/glider, I didn't use one to nurse. That's about the only piece of furniture I want to get this time around. I am not trying to discourage any of you from putting together a nursery, because a. you might use it more than we did and b. it was so much fun to put it together, but if you are waffling over getting certain things, I would just wait and see what you want when the baby is actually here.  Our nursery is now a playroom and it seems to be a better fit for us that way.

[iixivboots]

I am considering waiting on the crib but I'm concerned about finding money for it after the baby comes when I want/need it. We are going to go look at an Arm's reach that is just missing the strap that you can order for $12, it's $55 on craigslist.

[keuriweo]

Ah, all this nursery talk is making me feel lazy!  Our potential nursery is still my husband's office.  He's a freelancer and works from home so I can't just kick him out and start decorating a nursery.  He's been talking about renting office space but, unless he finds a really good place, I think he'll stay put until the end of the year.  Until then, the baby will be in our room anyway.  We'll probably get an AR cosleeper and a dresser/changing table and hold off on a crib (I'd like to get a convertible one) until the end of the year.

If/when I actually decorate a nursery, I'd like to inflict my (and my husband's) favorite colors upon our child: blue and yellow.  I like the look of the gray/yellow nurseries and I think a soft blue/bright yellow nursery would work just as well.  Also, I'd like to get a dragon cradle guardian since this is the year of the dragon.  I'm not sure how a multicolored wooden dragon would fit into my blue/yellow color scheme but I want one so I'll make it work!   

[LilyTiger]

We're not buying large stuff other than a crib that can transition to a toddler bed, an AR cosleeper, strollers, and a car seat.  The nursery is really just to have a place to keep toys and baby stuff.  We'll use an old dresser as a changing table.  We're trying to avoid buying too much baby-specific stuff because our house is so small, so hopefully many items can be transitioned to big kid stuff.  But, I do like the idea of having a baby-specific area where we can put the baby down for naps and keep baby-related stuff in the rest of the house to a minimum.

Monkeyscience and a few others, I just visited a friend who lives in an 800 ft or so very small house and her baby's changing table is in a hallway, the crib in the bedroom, and the swing in the dining room/living room.  My friend's parents kept him in a dresser drawer for the first few months, so there's a lot of variation in what people can do.  I don't think it's abnormal to not have a full-on nursery.

Honestly, part of why we're putting together an actual nursery is that it gives us an opportunity to get rid of stuff, paint, and install new floors, none of which is particularly necessary for a baby in any way.  We also have a very small bedroom, so there's no room for anything other than a cosleeper. We barely fit the nightstands in.

[Veritas Vitae]

We're moving into a 2 bedroom house, but luckily it has an area in the back that will be perfect for an office space.  The nursery will also have to function as a guest room, which will be fine, because the baby can sleep with us.  I just want to keep the baby stuff as much to one space as possible. Plus, I'm excited to decorate a room.  I want to do something really eclectic and colorful. The dragon guardians are so neat, I showed it to DP and he is all excited.  He keeps calling the LO our dragonborn or dovahkiin, from the Sky Rim video game.  

[eleuthia]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 
. And then there's the residual lingering fear that this pregnancy is not going to make it, and I shouldn't waste money/time/emotions on buying stuff. It's dumb, because at 16 weeks with a good heartbeat, odds are very good of baby making it. From a spiritual standpoint, I feel pretty certain this baby will make it. But from emotional, self-doubting side, the side that spent a year and a half trying to conceive this LO, the side that has watched so many women lose pregnancies in that time, I'm scared to attach. I've almost bought things for baby so many times, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. It's odd, because I don't really have much day-to-day worry that baby isn't okay, but I'm not ready to commit to anything past today, I guess.

Even though I've bought stuff, I'm still feeling this! Actually, especially after buying the stroller (since it is so big & just sitting out in the living room), I feel like I'm setting myself up for something terrible to happen. 

[pennywhistle]

If there's a freecycle in your area, I highly recommend checking it out - so far I've gotten an infant carseat with convertible stroller, a changing table, and a breast pump all for free.  It's a website where you post stuff that you're either giving away or looking for.  If you see something you want, or see something that you can provide, you email the poster directly and it's done!

[Knitting Mama]

One word of warning: Please be very careful getting used car seats from anyone you don't actually know and trust implicitly. Beyond knowing when it was bought and when it will expire, you have to trust that the seat hasn't been in an accident and therefore had its structural integrity compromised.

[LeAnn A Doula]

I'm going to check out freecycle, that's a great idea! I've been hoping to find an open box carseat, used just makes me nervous. Apparently they can be compromised without any indication of damage. I'm actually debating between a travel systerm w infant seat or going straight for a convertible carseat with infant padding. I need to get some input from BTDT moms.

As for nursery planning, I like the gray color schemes too. But I'll be dealing with wht walls, I'm a navy wife and I'm not about to paint and re-paint every two yrs. I've been really drawn to wht walls w vivid pops of color and pattern and lots of cozy texture. We'll be moving either shortly before or after the birth, so I'm just planning nursery projects for now. I want to upcycle as much as possible. I'm refinishing the baby armoir I had as a baby and a big dresser that will also be our changing table. We have a cradle that my mom refinished. When baby outgrows that, we'll move to a floor bed. No crib for us! I have a bunch of other projects up my sleeve but the ultimate direction depends on boy baby or girl baby. The only item I'm having trouble w is the rocker. I'm in love with the Joya rocker by Monte Design but it's a budget breaker and I can't find anything remotely similar. :( I really want a cozy modern rocker, not a glider. Something that will stay with my family forever. I just think it can be such a special piece. So if you come across a good source for modern design upholstered rockers, let me know! :) These are a few of my fav inspiration rooms...

http://www.houzz.com/photos/52346/Bay-Area-green-building-and-design--nursery-non-VOC-paint--mural--eco-furniture-eclectic-kids-san-francisco - fun graphic nature motif

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sophias-white-simple-nursery-t-164169 - great color!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/zoeys-handmade-haven-small-kid-131300 - so soft and cozy!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l6TSi6QV3gE/TqH2hsOnHYI/AAAAAAAAJuc/8fuGrR1ElOY/s1600/milk2.jpg - floor bed!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RdoloeL5Te8/TzKMPwz9fzI/AAAAAAAAA_U/BN1Zaj4GgrI/s1600/loft14_11g.jpg - perfect baby girl grey color palate

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by LeAnn A Doula 

I'm going to check out freecycle, that's a great idea! I've been hoping to find an open box carseat, used just makes me nervous. Apparently they can be compromised without any indication of damage. I'm actually debating between a travel systerm w infant seat or going straight for a convertible carseat with infant padding. I need to get some input from BTDT moms.

Yep, I am totally fine with used baby equipment, except carseats. They just scare me too much. 

Last time we did a travel system and I hated it. I stopped carrying the bucket so early because it drove me nuts to lug the awkward thing. Plus Cecilia vastly preferred being worn. I ended up treating the bucket like a convertible anyway.

This time we are doing straight convertible from the start. We have Radians, which are great because they have a high rear facing limit and they are narrow and can go side by side. When Cecilia was tiny the only way she was comforted in the car was with me next to her, so I want a usable seat in the back in case this baby is the same way.

Our two Radians. One is the older brand, Sunshine Kids, and the other is the new one, Diono:

[iixivboots]

We ended up getting the AR mini cosleeper for $55 dollars. I'm pretty happy with it. It didn't come with a sheet, so I need to work on that. People say either king size pillow cases or changing pad covers work. I will order the part to attach it to the bed even though I'm not 100 sure if it will work with our no boxspring bed, but I think it will (between slats and mattress).

I would be happy to wait on the crib, I guess, if I knew I'd have the money later. I'd be happy with a "nursery" with the current futon for guests, a recliner, and baby stuff storage, just cleaned and painted.

Strollers, I think I said but we're getting a Graco Snugride 35 carseat, and the Graco carseat stroller frame (which is about $70). I was planning on getting a lightweight MacLaren volo later, but my friend offered me her old Graco stroller, which was part of a travel system she's just using the carseat for now, so we'll take that until we can afford something lighter, if we need it.

I'd much rather buy stuff than clean.

My parents are coming next week for my spring break and after that, we'll have to get working on that room. It's full of yarn and craft supplies and baby stuff still in packaging.

[LeAnn A Doula]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

Yep, I am totally fine with used baby equipment, except carseats. They just scare me too much. 

Last time we did a travel system and I hated it. I stopped carrying the bucket so early because it drove me nuts to lug the awkward thing. Plus Cecilia vastly preferred being worn. I ended up treating the bucket like a convertible anyway.

This time we are doing straight convertible from the start. We have Radians, which are great because they have a high rear facing limit and they are narrow and can go side by side. When Cecilia was tiny the only way she was comforted in the car was with me next to her, so I want a usable seat in the back in case this baby is the same way.

Our two Radians. One is the older brand, Sunshine Kids, and the other is the new one, Diono:

I'll have to check out this seat. I don't plan to use the bucket at all, hate them! I'm definitely a marsupial mama. I was just considering it because I'm trying to determine the most cost effective option for carseat and stroller. I was looking at the First Year True Fit (looks really nice but a bit wide) or the Graco My Ride 65 (super cost effective). I just wanted to be certain that a convertible carseat will be a good fit for the newbie. Thanks for the input. Super helpful!
 

[eleuthia]

Originally Posted by bootsvalentine 
I'd much rather buy stuff than clean.

Welcome to my life! 

I added a carseat to our registry (Eddie Bauer XRS 65) that I think will meet our needs. It's a convertible and rear-faces to 40lbs, plus it has infant padding & a headrest. One thing I really like is that it fits well in small vehicles - this is key when our infrequent car trips happen in a variety of vehicles (we're members of a carsharing service).

I think we are going to wait on getting a crib. My partner's parents are going to buy it for us, and they plan to visit in November, so I figure his mom might enjoy helping us pick it out. We definitely have a few in mind, though - my current favorite is the Ikea Gulliver. I am pretty set on a crib mattress... the Naturepedic Organic Cotton Classic Lightweight Dual Firmness.

[Sol_y_Paz]

I don't even know how people make the car seat decision.  I looked at a baby store and just got even more confused.  Do you recommend buying one that grows with baby?  

[Knitting Mama]

I personally like the fact that the Radians I have will last for a very long time, because they both have tall shells and have high weight limits. Less worry about buying more carseats later!

[monkeyscience]

Hmm... so there is someone who actually uses their changing table! We never had one growing up, and SIL has one but never uses one, and some friends with 5 kids either don't have one or never use it.

Honestly, I'm thinking I'm just going to get baby a set of plastic drawers like the ones I have half my clothes in (our real dresser doesn't have enough room) until such a time as we have more permanent living arrangements.

As far as carseats, I'm also trying decide between a convertible seat (which I'm leaning towards) and a bucket seat, which is more common. My mom has pointed out that when the weather's nasty, it's nice to be able to buckle baby up inside, and then just pop him in quickly. But I really hate how heavy the darn things are, and how you have to find a place to put them once you're inside. I think part of it, for me, will depend on if I can find a sling that seems simple enough to easily pop baby in and out of for quick trips into the grocery store, etc. I've tried out SIL's Moby, and while it's nice, it is VERY complicated! I'm sure it would get easier with practice, but I can't ever imagine it being fast to put on.

eleuthia - Glad I'm not totally alone in my feelings. It seems so silly - I'm sure people lose babies equally whether they buy baby stuff or not, but somehow it does still seem like tempting fate.

Oh, and on a sort of random note - while going through stuff stored at my mom's house, I found a baby quilt I made back when I was in junior high - so baby does officially have his/her first blanket! It is much more girl-ish than boy-ish, but I don't really care. It's big enough/thick enough that it will mostly be a floor blanket, anyway.

[Knitting Mama]

I LOVE my changing table. It's a dresser from IKEA with a changing table topper on it. I have a bad back, though, so it's nice to not have to get onto the floor or lean onto a bed to change my girlie.

vvvv We do use our crib now, as a sidecar. Never used it before we moved it into our room as a sidecar though. The nursery is now a playroom and clothes storage room, and that works well for us now that there will be two.

Edited by Knitting Mama - 3/7/12 at 8:46pm

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

For what it's worth, we never used the crib. Like seriously never ever.  DD slept (and still sleeps) with us. We didn't have a changing table and I never would have used it anyway - we change DD on the bed or on the floor wherever we are.  We have two diaper changing stations, one upstairs one downstairs and use waterproof pads just in case. No changing cushion or anything.  We also never used the (absurdly expensive) stroller we bought brand new.  Dumb dumb purchase.  I wore DD everywhere we went, and I still do. DD never tolerated the pack n play, so that became a giant laundry basket.  Wasted purchase. 

Things I would have purchased again - arms reach co-sleeper or other bassinet, dresser for clothing, swing, bouncy seat, jumperoo, glider or rocker, and carseat.  The jumperoo can wait, but I was definitely happy to have the swing for moments when nothing else would calm DD, and the bouncy seat was great for grabbing a shower and having DD in the bathroom with me. Actually we have a second one for downstairs so that if DD was tired of being worn we could put her down safely.  

We have a lovely nursery that we are changing over to house two children.  We are doing away with the crib/toddler bed and bought a used loft bed.  The plan is to put a mattress on the top and also directly on the floor.  DD will get the floor bed until she is old enough to move up to the top, at which time our new addition will get the floor bed. I don't regret the nursery exactly, because it really was fun to set up, but it was a giant waste of money since we barely used anything in it, and now we need to completely change the setup. 

Check out the family safety portion of the forums for great advice on carseats. We bought the Chicco KeyFit because it was the best reviewed of Consumer Reports.  We moved on to a convertible when DD was 4 months because she HATED the bucket seat. (True Fit - LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  We have one for each car). The bucket seat was also incredibly big and bulky to lug around - we got the larger version (which technically DD still fits into weight wise at 2 years old), which was a big mistake because there is no way you are carrying a 30lb child around in a bucket seat that weighs 15lbs. I don't regret buying the bucket seat because for the first few months it WAS convenient to strap her in while in the house and not in the car, but I NEVER left her in it when we went into stores or anything, so it sort of defeated the purpose.  We will use it again this time around because we have it, but I think if we were to do it over again, I would have bought a convertible from the start.  Oh, and the travel system was a waste because as I said above, DD HATED strollers too, so we never used it!

Edited by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 - 3/7/12 at 8:53pm