First-time mamas! - Page 10 « Back to Group Discussions

[Knitting Mama]

Definitely look into Radians or Coccoro Combis if you want side-by-side seats. I have heard less good stuff about the Combi seat but at least some people seem to really like them.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

As a second time mom, it's amusing to see how much everyone is stressing over what they need.  I SO remember doing exactly that.  And we ended up with piles, literally piles, of stuff we didn't need.  Here is my list of stuff that you MUST have.  Everything else, not so much.

• diapers, whether cloth or sposies, you will use so many more than you imagine. Same goes for wipes
• newborn onesies.  This is all we used for a while.  People got us loads of cute clothes that got used ONCE.  If I had it all to do over, I would have returned everything but the onesies and maybe some soft pants and a sweatshirt or two. 
• socks and hats. These are good even in summer. Babies cannot regulate their temperatures and need some help here.  Don't get fancy ones, just the simple cotton ones work great. 
• carseat - we had a bucket and while I don't necessarily regret it, we only used it for four months.  We also NEVER ONCE put it in a stroller. Nor did we carry it around with us - that's what slings are for. 
• Baby carrier. The only one I really used at first was the ring sling. Couldn't live without it. I liked my mei tai and the moby was ok, but the ring sling was a lifesaver. Truly. 
• Somewhere to put baby down safely while you shower.  This could be a bucket seat, a bouncy seat, a bassinet, a moses basket, but you WILL need to shower alone at SOME point.  It's also helpful for when you are cooking or your back/arms are tired. 
• Somewhere to sleep.  DD slept in our bed from day one.  We are currently transitioning her into a twin bed in her own room.  Skipped over the crib and toddler bed altogether. We also never used the arms reach co-sleeper for anything but laundry. 
• Swaddling blankets - yes these were very helpful.
• Burp rags. DD was a spitter so we went through a LOT of these.  Pre-folds are a great cheap option. 
• Bag for baby gear.  Does NOT have to be a diaper bag, but a decent bag with lots of pockets is a good idea.
• Lanolin for your nipples and your lips. Both get cracked and painfully dry if you don't drink 3446234235 gallons of water a day when you are breastfeeding. 
• Waterproof lap mats.  These were AMAZING.  DD had ridiculously powerful poops every time she breastfed and it would frequently blow out the back.  If I didn't use these, I would have needed a shower every time I nursed.  Can't recommend highly enough. 
• Monitor - you need this even if you are in a two room apartment. I only had an audio monitor and we will be upgrading to a video monitor this time around. 
• Breastpump and bottles.  I had so much oversupply that I sometimes needed to pump a little off to relieve the pressure and also to balance the amount of hindmilk DD was getting.  I don't recommend using bottles before the first month or so, but it was really helpful to have some extra milk kicking around so that I could sleep in every now and then. I work outside of my home and so the pump was essential for me. 
• Good quality nursing bra - this was really helpful and I will need a few more this time around.  My complaint is that it is very hard to find supportive bras for a 40DDD. 
• Changing station - a basket, a caddy, SOMETHING is good to keep all of your diaper changing supplies together so that you don't need to look for it in the middle of the night. 
• High quality diaper cream. We put some on every single night before putting DD down for the night and she never had diaper rash that lasted longer than a day. 
• White noise machine.  Or a loud fan, or something that can break the silence. Most babies seem to feel more secure with a little white noise. 

Things you definitely do not NEED:

• stroller. we never used it until DD was many months old, and at that point, she didn't want to be in it. Waste of money - a lot of money.
• Pack and play. DD never wanted to spend a minute in there. 
• Swing.  DD spent no more than ten minutes at a time in the thing and if we spent more than $10 at a tag sale, I would have been really mad at myself for wasting the money. 
• Crib - as I said above, DD never slept in one ever. We are going to sell it on Craigslist and if new babe is willing to sleep outside of our bed, we will use the arms reach co-sleeper. 
• Baby soap products. For many months we did not wash DD with anything but water.  Don't spend lots on high quality soap if you don't have the money because you won't need it for a while. 
• Baby towels or washcloths.  They are just like regular towels and washcloths.  Sure the little head part is cute, but lots of kids don't want things on their 
• Baby shoes. Babies don't want things on their feet. These are a gigantic waste of money. Sure they are cute to look at, but seriously you won't EVER use them. 
• Exercise mat - blankets with a few toys will work just as well!
• Exersaucer - this was useful, but I wouldn't get it until later. Otherwise it will just take up space needlessly. 
• Baby bathtub - I bathed with DD in the tub. Never used a baby tub at all.  This time, I will likely do the same.  If not, there are always pots and bowls. No need to spend money on this kind of product. 
• Stuffed animals/toys/books - we got so many as gifts that I would never register for these. They are good to have, but you don't need to ask for them or buy them yourself. 
• Diaper genie - okay, we use this and it is very convenient. But you don't NEED it if you just wrap each poopie diaper in a garbage bag. 
• Nursing cover/nursing clothes.  I just used regular shirts and pulled them up while wearing a cami or a belly band underneath. Nursing clothes never opened the way I needed them to - either the opening was far too narrow or far to exposed. 
• Boppy pillow - this was somewhat helpful for me, but not essential.  Pick one up if you find a cheapie - otherwise I would skip.
• High chair - you will need this eventually, but I would wait until baby actually needs one. Otherwise it just takes up space.
• Bibs - we never used these much because they were too much trouble. We never needed to buy or register for them because people gave them to us. 
• Paci. I am not anti-pacifier, but it is REALLY important that you not introduce something that could interfere with developing a healthy latch at the beginning of the breastfeeding relationship.  Don's use a paci until AFTER you have a totally secure breastfeeding relationship. Otherwise you risk a painful latch or worse. 
• Wipe warmer. Seriously there is no need for this. 
• Bottle warmer - you have a pot you can put water in and a stove right? 
• Changing table - we always changed DD on our bed or on the floor.  It would have been a lot of trouble to leave the room to have to change her every two hours. 
• Swaddlers and blanket sleepers. Lots of people use and like these, I never did and so I don't think they are necessary. Having one or two kicking around probably isn't a bad idea, but I wouldn't spend a lot on either of them. 
• glider/rocker - we never used ours. I don't mind having it, but I wouldn't spend much because it may not get used.

That's all I can think of. Obviously, some people may disagree with me, these are just my experiences. Hope this helps somewhat. 

[Knitting Mama]

So many of those are subjective, though. Like, for me, a Boppy absolutely was-- and still is, with my nursing toddler-- absolutely priceless. Same with changing table. I hate changing her on the floor. And she vastly prefers wipes from the wipes warmer. 

[LilyTiger]

I know!  How crazy is it that I'm even thinking about multiple kids.  Whew.  Just feeling this little beano rolling around has me freaking out.  I can't wait to hold him/her, but it's also insane to think about there being three of us.

Originally Posted by LeAnn A Doula 

LilyTiger - I've been thinking about the same thing, multiple car seats, which I have to admit scares the crap out of me. I still can't believe we're here, building a family, it's surreal! 

[NewMumJoy]

1stTimeMama - this list is GREAT - thanks sooo much for sharing!!!  Because we're moving cross country this fall - to a city apartment - I'm trying my best to be as 'minimalist' as possible.  It's great to see where we're on the same page or what I might not have considered.  Both our families are many states away, so we need to plan our registry/wish lists very carefully - so that we get just what we need in the short-term and obtain other 'essentials' later on down the road as they are required.

I just started my online registry - and despite my "simple" list, choosing the right models of the few essentials (car seats, strollers, cloth diapers, oh my!!!) is turning out to be a much more time consuming experience that I had expected!!

[LeAnn A Doula]

LilyTiger - It's totally insane! I think that I'll still be feeling this way well after baby is here. I find myself resisting looking into the future. I really can't think much beyond this pregnancy right now. My mom sent a cute pic of her friends 2yr old w the caption 'what you have to look forward to.' It actually made me angry! I just want to be pregnant right now. I'm not ready to contemplate much beyond that at this point. Is that crazy?

1st TimeMama - Thanks for the list. I do think that there's a core list of basics that work for most but it is super subjective. I plan to get a wipe warmer bc my friends babe screamed every time he had a dipe change until they finally bought one. Poor guy just didn't like the chilly wipes, can't blame him. :) I'm planning to wait to buy a lot of things until they are needed/wanted, too.

[Waffler]

yeah, i think that's where i keep getting caught up...you ask 10 different people and you'll get 10 different opinions (i guess like most things baby/kid related). and newmumjoy, i feel the same...i know i need a carseat (or whatever) but which one? 

[Knitting Mama]

The bottom line to me is, get what you consider to be the bare minimum, and know that you can always get things as a one-off if needed later. I went to the hospital with a little outfit (which ended up being way too big because Cecilia is itty-bitty), a Boppy, some cloth diapers and a carseat. That worked pretty well for me. At home we had lots of clothes, thanks to generous friends and family, a changing table/dresser combo from IKEA, more diapers and cloth wipes (and the aforementioned warmer ) and that was about it. Worked really well for us! As Cecilia grew, we got other stuff, either handed down from others or secondhand, rarely new. Trying things at friends' houses was a godsend, because it let me learn if Cecilia liked stuff before we bought it. For example, she didn't like exersaurcer or bouncer style things at all, so that was easy to save on.

[monkeyscience]

Yeah, I think a lot of that is subjective as well, but it's something to think about.

FWIW, my SIL said (and I agree) that registering for baby clothes is a somewhat futile endeavor - most people will buy what they think is cute, and that's it. I know I often do the same thing, in part because trying to match registry descriptions to the millions of onesies out there is maddening. I'm still registering for a few things, in hopes of giving people an idea of what *I* think is cute, but we'll see. I'm not registering for any newborn-size stuff, though, because so many babies either don't fit that at all when they're born, or wear it for a week or two. And again, I figure I'll probably get some anyway. My niece (born at 41 weeks) wore newborn clothes for about a week - her brothers (twins, born about 3 weeks early) wore newborn clothes for a month, though. It's going to be hotter than
Hades here in August, so I think I'll get a few onesies and stick with blankets and socks for if baby is cold. I also have the bonus of having both grandmas living in town, so if I wind up without enough clothes, I can call my mom and bet that she'll be over with more in no time. It would not surprise me to find out MIL is the same way. Half the clothes my brother's kids wear still come from Grandma, because she can't resist buying them baby clothes (not that I blame her!).

Still excited for the ultrasound Friday, but for the last couple of days I've been plagued by the horrible fear that we're going to find out the baby has died, or has something terribly wrong with it. I don't really know why. I guess part of it is just that so many people know about the baby now, and the ultrasound, and I'm terrified of getting a million messages asking what we're having, only to have to tell everyone, nothing. We're not having a baby at all. Siiigh. Hopefully the next few days fly by!
 

Oh, and funny note about the baby wipe warmer - I think it's utterly ludicrous, but it's the one thing dh INSISTED on putting on the registry. He thinks it sounds absolutely marvelous for the baby. So there it is. If we don't get it, I won't buy one, but it wouldn't surprise me if he does. Hey, if he wants it that much, I say let him have it. Plus he registered for one that says it works with cloth or disposable wipes.

[LeAnn A Doula]

That's my thought. Just wait and see what this LO needs/likes - esp regarding swing, bouncy seat, etc. I want to have a rocker, moses basket, dipes/wipes, warmer, carriers, onesies, baby legs, boppy, carseat, breast pump, noise machine, monitor, blankets/burp cloths. That's about it to start.

[monkeyscience]

Yeah, a monitor is one of those things I just cannot see why I would need. There's very little chance we're living in a space over 1000 square feet, so I cannot really see what I would do with such a thing. But that's specific to my living situation. I know at my brother's house, if you close the door to some rooms, it's like sealing the baby in a vault - you won't hear them unless they're screaming bloody murder.

I guess my bare essentials list is:

onesies, diapers, wipes, socks, blankets, burp clothes, nursing pads, car seat, carrier, cosleeper. I'm sure we'll HAVE more than that, and will discover some other essential-for-our-baby things, but I feel like that should take me through the first week of life. And if it doesn't, well, that's what dh/grandmas are for - store runs!

Oh, and I'm guessing I'll need nursing bras, but there's no way I'm buying any until I'm much closer to term. Pretty sure I'm still growing there!

[Knitting Mama]

And you might not even find the cosleeper useful, at least not at first! 

[monkeyscience]

Yeah, I know, but I can't see assuming that I WILL have the baby in my bed, when that's not where I want the baby/feel comfortable with having him/her. It may not get used, but I will feel very stressed if there is no designated place to put the baby down. :) Plus, we're getting a mini AR, so it will take up a lot less space than having a crib for the same reason.

[monkeyscience]

Okay, I did it, I got brave (and suckered into a sale) and bought three baby onesies on Amazon. I have now officially bought something for this baby. Fears be darned.

[DesertSunsets]

I have to mention that we had a foster kiddo that would scream bloody murder about cold wipes when the nights got cooler.  I laughed about the wipe warmer when we got it as a hand me down, but we did use it.  The other foster baby we had could care less.  So I think it is one of those things that just depends on your baby.  

We had the same thing with the glider.  One baby wanted to be rocked, the other bounced (I would sit on the corner of the twin bed in the nursery and bounce).  

I used our stroller for walks around the neighborhood or park and trips to the zoo, etc.  I tried a carrier but didn't like it.  Part of it was that it wasn't a good carrier and part of it was that we didn't get to start from newborn and we somehow ended up with little chunky babies who were at the top of the charts for height and weight. It really was too much for my back and shoulders.  However I plan on doing TONS of baby wearing with our own, especially when they are newborns. 

[sallyrae17]

I actually used the wipe warmer all the time with cloth wipes. I wasn't close to a bathroom to wet the cloth first, so it was great to have a wipe warmer full of warm sudsy water by the changing table! It made changing diapers a lot easier. As usual, it all depends on your setup. It's not "necessary," but it can make life easier.

[LilyTiger]

Monkeyscience, I had the same irrational fear right before my 19 week u/s.  I kept thinking, how am I going to announce that we lost the baby?  It was really messed up.  And then there was the bouncing little dude/tte.  Now that I'm feeling movement consistently, those crazy thoughts are diminishing.  I still thought I killed the baby after a long walk yesterday.  It wasn't until it flipped before bed that I knew it was still there.

These lists and so on are helpful, but as people have pointed out, so much of it is subjective.  As monkeyscience points out, I want a designated place to put the baby and we're not comfy with co-sleeping in bed, so we'll have an Arm's Reach in the bedroom and a crib in the nursery.  Who knows whether we'll use them often, but it's just our preference for what we're going to do.  DH wants a bucket car seat, so we'll probably get one of those.  We are trying to keep it pretty minimal since we're inheriting a ton of stuff.  As I said before, our biggest purchase will probably be a jogging stroller.  My friend had a giant sponge that she used instead of a baby tub, which we might do too.  Don't know about the wipe warmer, but we'll definitely need a place for sudsy cloth wipes.  Not finding out the sex is complicating some things, since my SILs both have boy and girl clothes, but it doesn't make sense to ship them if the baby isn't whatever sex.  I guess we'll just see. Maybe they'll send the early stuff and we'll wait on the bigger stuff until we know for sure. 

[monkeyscience]

GAH... just spent an hour or two researching car seats, only to find out that the one I picked (Evenflo Triumph Advance) has been discontinued! Grrr. dh is on board with getting a convertible seat (and buying a bucket later if we decide we want it), but from what I've read a lot of convertibles aren't super newborn-friendly. The ETA had a TON of great reviews on Consumer Reports and Amazon, and got pretty good marks from CR. The Evenflo Triumph 65 that replaced didn't get as high of marks from CR, though. Not sure if I should go for that or another one they said was better for newborns, but pricey and difficult to install (Maxi-Cosi Priori, in case anyone cares). Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

LilyTiger - Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not crazy... or at least that I'm not crazy alone. :)

ETA: After some more browsing, and looking on some MDC threads, I'm tentatively registering for the Maxi-Cosi Pria 70. It's got a lot of good reviews for older kids and longer/bigger babies, but I'm not find a ton for newborns. I like that it has a totally separate fit system for them, though.

Edited by monkeyscience - 3/19/12 at 3:38pm

[eleuthia]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 
Still excited for the ultrasound Friday, but for the last couple of days I've been plagued by the horrible fear that we're going to find out the baby has died, or has something terribly wrong with it. I don't really know why. I guess part of it is just that so many people know about the baby now, and the ultrasound, and I'm terrified of getting a million messages asking what we're having, only to have to tell everyone, nothing. We're not having a baby at all. Siiigh. Hopefully the next few days fly by!

Mine is tomorrow and I'm having the same sort of fears! I think it's why I am kind of denying things that could be movement and telling myself it's just gas or stomach bubbles - I don't want to feel stupid if I'm wrong? My partner is excited because we're (hopefully) finding out the sex and he's eager to talk more about names. On the other hand, I'm thinking about alllll of the things they'll be looking at that could lead to bad news - the size of the baby, all of the organs & parts, my placenta, the umbilical cord, possibly the uterine arteries, my fibroid... 

[Veritas Vitae]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

GAH... just spent an hour or two researching car seats, only to find out that the one I picked (Evenflo Triumph Advance) has been discontinued! Grrr. dh is on board with getting a convertible seat (and buying a bucket later if we decide we want it), but from what I've read a lot of convertibles aren't super newborn-friendly. The ETA had a TON of great reviews on Consumer Reports and Amazon, and got pretty good marks from CR. The Evenflo Triumph 65 that replaced didn't get as high of marks from CR, though. Not sure if I should go for that or another one they said was better for newborns, but pricey and difficult to install (Maxi-Cosi Priori, in case anyone cares). Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

My sister is in the market for a new convertible seat so I had her do some research for me as well.  If budget isn't a huge issue, she said she really likes the Britax Marathon, ~$240 I think.  Since she is working on a budget, she liked the Britax Roundabout 55, which you can also get a newborn convertible insert for and the Graco My Ride 65.  Each around $150.  She says she has had her Marathon for two kids, and it has held up super well, and the new Marathons don't expire for 9 years or something.  She likes the Roundabout and My Ride because the rear facing weight and height limit is higher, so you can have them rear facing longer.  Also, they did really well in safety testing.

Originally Posted by eleuthia 

Mine is tomorrow and I'm having the same sort of fears! I think it's why I am kind of denying things that could be movement and telling myself it's just gas or stomach bubbles - I don't want to feel stupid if I'm wrong? My partner is excited because we're (hopefully) finding out the sex and he's eager to talk more about names. On the other hand, I'm thinking about alllll of the things they'll be looking at that could lead to bad news - the size of the baby, all of the organs & parts, my placenta, the umbilical cord, possibly the uterine arteries, my fibroid... 

I'm with you ladies.  Mine is Thursday and I'm so afraid it will be bad news.

Originally Posted by NewMumJoy 

I just started my online registry - and despite my "simple" list, choosing the right models of the few essentials (car seats, strollers, cloth diapers, oh my!!!) is turning out to be a much more time consuming experience that I had expected!!

I found the same thing.  I look at the sample registries and immediately nix certain things, then for things I'm not sure on, I call my sister and friend to find out if they thought it was useful.  If they did, then I start looking through all of the reviews.  It's been taking a long time.  Also, I know some people who will be invited to the shower are going to want to look for some lower ticket items as gifts, so I'm registering for some things that I may not necessarily need right away as well.  I have a long way to go before I need to think about this stuff, but since I can't nest in a home for a couple more weeks, this is my default nesting.  It makes me feel connected with my babe.  Also, while B is really adamant about researching EVERYTHING, he just isn't that interested in researching baby stuff, so someone has to do it. ;]