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First-time mamas! - Page 5

post #81 of 425

hey Veritas you called me out for crashing your club, I was going to try to lay low. hide.gif

post #82 of 425
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

Anybody else have these kinds of discussions with their dh/dp? 

Sounds like they went pretty well for you overall.  We have also been having conversations.  He supports BF very much so, like Pennywhistle's Dhthumb.gif.  We are having some discussions about just what co-sleeping means for us but are both sure baby will be in our room one way or another.   

 

And Thursday Girl, glad you are here! Please stick around.  Don't feel the need to lay low. 

post #83 of 425

I had an appointment today with my ob, mainly talking, no exam, but I got sent for tons of bloodwork. This was the first time in my life that the blood was flowing super fast--the vials were filled in no time. Must be the extra blood our pregnant bodies are producing.

 

I go back in 4 weeks and she'll do the heartbeat and set me up with the specialists to do the 2nd tri scan. I was pretty shocked that she says that she does not send her 35+ patients for the 1st tri scan (I think it's the NT scan and bloodwork). I understood her rationale, but was really shocked and taken aback Basically, she says that it's not a great test as it is and especially not for someone my age and over, since it is more likely to show a high risk. But I haven't heard that or seen that rationale in my research. I just kind of feel uncomfortable not doing anything until the 2nd tri scan (I think it's 18-20 weeks?). Because I do not want to do cvs or amnio, I guess this is just where we're at. I brought up the MaterniT21 blood test (for down's syndrome)  I read about and she had not heard of it, but said basically that I will have to see what they say at the 2nd tri scan meeting with that specialist. 

 

Any other experiences?

post #84 of 425

I think if you want the 1st trimester screening, you should get it! Even if she doesn't routinely send her patients to get it, she should honor your wishes. The midwife I saw at the birth center encouraged me (more than I expected) to have the sequential screen (bloodwork + NT scan). I was already scheduled for it (at my previous ob/gyn office) and my primary reason for wanting the u/s is to check my fibroid and cyst, but I think it makes sense for me to know if I am higher risk for the issues it could reveal. 

 

As for me... I bought a few maternity/baby things (a maternity/nursing dress, a map print for the nursery, and a bright/gender-neutral onesie) on zullily today and I feel nervous about it, like I am tempting fate or something. I have had the Beco Butterfly in the house for about a month though, so I should probably relax about it! 

post #85 of 425

Thanks for the support, Eleuthia. See, the thing is, I wasn't sure I wanted it because of what I had read about it. But I at least wanted the choice! This ob is very much about: this is what you will do, this is when, etc. I love my regular doc who takes a lot of time to discuss everything with me and seems to always give me choices. My ob is just kind of cold and distant. She did discuss it with me at length and she did even try to connect with me on a more personal level.

 

It's funny because in some ways I'm similar to her (which is what my mom said tonight when I was discussing it with her). I like to be in control, so it's hard. I've been trying to let go a little more, especially given the nature of pregnancy.

 

Enjoy your new purchases! I discovered that there is a consignment shop for baby and maternity clothes and stuff at the end of my street today. I had no idea until I saw the ad in a local guide I got at my ob appointment! I tried on a few things, but nothing fit well.

post #86 of 425

Our midwife explained the testing rather neutrally and had us sign a paper that expressed our preferences (with the disclaimer that we were free to change our minds at any point). 

 

As far as the parenting "hot topics" we've been discussing them for quite a while.  My DW went through a baby crazed period about 2 years ago and started ordering pregnancy and lesbian conception books online.  It freaked me out a little and was what lead us to doing foster care while we got to a financially stable enough place to have our own.  But we also got to learn a lot with out a time limit. We have a short list of things that we are still researching (vaccines, cloth diapering), and we're probably just going to wing it on how long we BF and how long the baby sleeps in our room.  We feel like our bed is too soft and we move too much to co-sleep, but we will get a sidecar-type crib.  No circumcision and lots of baby wearing.  Before her book shopping spree we were definitely not on the same page with hospital births, but she completely converted, found the birth center here and made us both start going the for our gyn appointments so we'd already be patients. Now if we could only agree on names (although I feel like I veto way more of her's than she does mine)...

post #87 of 425

Andaluza, we were very much on the fence about the 13 week screen, mostly because we wouldn't change the outcome of the pregnancy either way, so there probably isn't much to talk about.  I agreed to it in a moment of pregnancy induced confusion, but later felt pretty good about it.  DH and I talked it over and realized that we would want the opportunity to plan, educate ourselves, and perhaps most importantly let other people know so we can avoid uncomfortable or inappropriate comments after birth.  But my doctor's office (I spoke to the nurse at this point, not my OB) was really neutral about it.  I would talk to your doc about it and if she's not open to discussion, that might be a warning sign.

 

I'm actually changing OB's right now because I was really unhappy with the way my concerns were being treated at my current place.  They too are not really about discussing things apart from the standard procedure, and I just started to feel like I was being pushed out of my own birth.  My philosophy in this whole process is that I can trust my body to do what it needs to do and I have to have that trust in order to get through this.  Starting from a position of powerlessness is not, in my opinion at least, a recipe for a good birth.  //rant off

 

post #88 of 425

Andazula, I am surprised about what happened.  I don't know if this helps but at my first prenatal appointment I had the screening talked about and pamphlets about the screenings given to me.  2nd appointment they were discussed again by another person, Dh was also there, they also brought up how the tests often have false positives.  Again, I think I got reading material and a talk about what they were and what happens during the tests, was not pushed the tests or asked to even make a decision, just given information.  At the next appointment my doctor asked if we had any questions about all the testing and said if we were interested we needed to book it in advance, but there was no rush if we hadn't made a decision.  This is normal procedure with all their patients as it was explained to me.  

post #89 of 425

I remember the nurse mentioning the NT scan - but in the same breath she said because I wasn't 35+ (just turned 30) - my insurance might not pay for it. The midwife asked me if I was interested and when I didn't jump on it - she didn't ask me again. I know she's planning on scheduling my 18wk appointment when I see her in Feb at my 14 week appt. I guess since she hasn't called me about the NT scan - I just won't have it. I don't mind limiting my u/s scans - but I can TOTALLY see why it's weird that if you want it she's not willing to give it to you. I might ask her again if I were you - and say you're really interested in having it.

post #90 of 425
Thread Starter 

Ugh, I hope that the nurse knew what she was talking about at my OB, she said insurance pays for the 12 week scan, I'm 32 turning 33 soon.

 

 

post #91 of 425

It looks like in 2007, ACOG started recommending that all women, regardless of age, be offered screening and/or invasive testing (CVS/amnio) for Down's syndrome. They recommended the first-trimester sequential screen (2 blood tests and the NT scan) versus the old 2nd trimester (quad) screening since the detection rate is higher for the 1st tri screening with the same false-positive rate. Usually insurance company medical policies will reflect these kinds of recommendations. If you are really concerned though, you should call your insurance company to confirm your benefits/their policies. 

post #92 of 425

Thank you so much ladies, for sharing your experiences! It feels good to know that I am not being irrational. Like I said, she did discuss it with me at length, other options for testing (ones I had already decided I would not do like cvs and amnio, which she also backed me up on). I am still thinking I'm going to call and ask for the info about the genetic counselor so I can have a discussion with them about the tests. She did tell me that she is just a regular ob, and there are others that specialize in all these different conditions, and that is why they are there. So then she should not object if I seek info from those specialists directly. And, I repeat, I was not sure about the NT test to begin with, so the fact that I'm now more obsessed with it is all her fault!

post #93 of 425

andaluza - I guess if I were you, I would consider finding a different provider, since it seems like you aren't really comfortable with your OB's style. Even if she did discuss it at length with you, it sounds like you don't like her overall "I am the captain of this pregnancy" attitude. (I wouldn't like that, either.) Obviously, your call, but I think if at all possible, it's best to have a care provider that you actually like interacting with, that puts you at ease. As far as the screening itself, I think it's a little funny that you're more interested in it now that it's "forbidden" than you were beforehand. ;) I personally have no intention of doing the screening, as I'm not at high risk for a baby with a chromosomal disorder, and wouldn't terminate a pregnancy even if there was a problem. I'm also choosing the "ignorance is bliss" strategy for this pregnancy - I'd rather continue assuming my baby is healthy and enjoying my pregnancy as opposed to spending the whole time worrying and planning for a problem. But that's totally a personal decision, and I can completely understand why others would want to know in advance, whether or not termination is on the table for them.

 

eleuthia - Yeah, I haven't brought myself to buy any baby stuff yet, partly because I'm afraid of "jinxing" things. But also because we don't have a lot of room and I haven't run across something adorable and gender-neutral just yet. I did buy some maternity yoga pants yesterday, though, and I LOVE THEM!! They are possibly the best thing ever for my poor, sensitive abdomen. They don't really have a waistband at all, just a separate waist section that you can wear partly folded over or stretched out over your belly. But there's basically zero pressure on your tummy, which is amazing. I'm definitely going to try to find some other colors somewhere (I bought gray ones), because they're perfect for this in-between phase when I really don't need actual maternity pants, but my regular pants aren't comfortable, either. If only I could find a similar-style skirt to wear to church, I would be in business!

 

DesertSunsets - It's nice that you've had some time to discuss and work through your parenting style. dh and I haven't been together that long (married 19 months, met a little over 2 years ago), so we haven't gotten that far in discussions. Especially since dh doesn't really like to talk about things until it's action time, and we've been focusing on dealing with IF. We actually did spend a bunch of time discussing names right after we got married, so we have a list that we agree on. :) Though I think I really only still like our top couple of name choices in each category at this point - but we may well not have any more kids to worry about naming than that, anyway!

 

LilyTiger - Glad you're switching to a new OB, and hope the one you were talking about on the Birth Choices thread works out. (Did you already talk to her?) Sounds like she would be a pretty awesome OB!

 

sol_y_paz - Glad to read on another thread that you and baby are doing well - hope the recovery continues to go smoothly!

 

Anyone else I missed - hi!!

 

AFM, finally starting to feel good this week! I'm hoping that the placenta is taking over the hormones and this is a permanent change for the better. Though I honestly don't get why the placenta making the hormones is any different than the ovaries making the hormones. Either way, I will take it! dh and I went out for Mongolian hot pot for dinner last night, and now I am craving soup like crazy! Somehow, I don't think the Campbell's in my cupboard is going to cut it. My tummy is definitely starting to poke out a little, though I know it's just displaced intestines, not baby, at this point. dh says I don't look any different, but there's definitely something there that I can't suck in any more. That being said, I certainly don't look pregnant yet, just pudgy. But I know the truth. :D Excited to have my 12 week appointment in 2 weeks and hear the heartbeat again. Then we will tell the whole world! We are already telling a lot of people, but just not being loud about it.

post #94 of 425

monkeyscience- what I've read about the hormones is that its the hCG that makes you feel crummy in the 1st tri.  It nourishes the fetus until the placenta fully takes over then it starts to drop. Also, I also totally feel your pain of feeling pudgy, not pregnant.  I can still hold it in when I'm actively doing something, but any time I stand still or sit, it pops out.  A co-worker made a joke about feeling it today and I told him he was welcome to, but that it was just a food-baby at this point. 

post #95 of 425

Monkeyscience, I was going to wait until the last possible minute to buy maternity but now you have me interested.  Your new pants sound so very comfortable!  My stomach is very sensitive right now too.  Where did you get them?  

post #96 of 425

I tried on some maternity pants at Old Navy yesterday and... I'm never going back to regular pants again. I wear a different size in maternity, which means the pants fit in my butt/thighs/legs a lot better. Whenever I tried to buy pants before, I had to get the size that fit my belly and since that's bigger than anything else (oh, PCOS...), they'd look baggy on my butt, etc so I always just gave up. I really like the "smooth panel" ones - especially now, folded down. Unfortunately, my ON store has a really picked-through selection, so I'm going to have to buy online. And I hate paying full price/$40 for jeans, BUT I really think they will work for me beyond pregnancy, so I can probably justify it. 

 

While I was there, I looked through the clearance baby stuff and picked up a few things that were too cheap/too cute to pass up. So now I've got baby clothes in the house. My 12-week ultrasound is tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous, like I've just tempted fate by spending $7 on baby things?? Hopefully once I can feel the fetus moving regularly, I will be less paranoid, but that won't be for another 6 weeks or so. Maybe this is why my hair is still falling out? lol.gif

post #97 of 425

My cousin swears by Gap maternity jeans because they look amazing and last forever.  She used hers through three or so pregnancies.  I'm thinking about buying one pair.  They are spendy, but they are flattering and well made.   I just inherited four pairs of maternity pants from a friend though, so I can't really justify much of an expense at this point.  We'll see what happens when I start showing more.

post #98 of 425
Quote:
Originally Posted by eleuthia View Post

I tried on some maternity pants at Old Navy yesterday and... I'm never going back to regular pants again. I wear a different size in maternity, which means the pants fit in my butt/thighs/legs a lot better. Whenever I tried to buy pants before, I had to get the size that fit my belly and since that's bigger than anything else (oh, PCOS...), they'd look baggy on my butt, etc so I always just gave up. I really like the "smooth panel" ones - especially now, folded down. Unfortunately, my ON store has a really picked-through selection, so I'm going to have to buy online. And I hate paying full price/$40 for jeans, BUT I really think they will work for me beyond pregnancy, so I can probably justify it. 

 

While I was there, I looked through the clearance baby stuff and picked up a few things that were too cheap/too cute to pass up. So now I've got baby clothes in the house. My 12-week ultrasound is tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous, like I've just tempted fate by spending $7 on baby things?? Hopefully once I can feel the fetus moving regularly, I will be less paranoid, but that won't be for another 6 weeks or so. Maybe this is why my hair is still falling out? lol.gif

 

You're not the only one. While I normally just wear yoga pants, I do have a few pairs of maternity pants that I wear whether I am pregnant or not. I have the same issue as you with my silly belly.
 

 

post #99 of 425

Eleuthia, was that a joke about your hair? My hair is below my shoulders and when it is this length I always notice that it sheds a lot in winter, but I kind of feel as though it may be shedding too much. Shedding has decreased lately, but I'm still losing hair. This is happening as I concurrently notice that I'm getting fine hairs on my belly and my armpit/leg hair seems to be growing faster. 

Ugh, paranoia, I'm going through some anxiety now.

 

I bought old navy yoga pants for when I don't go in to work, but they are really comfortable. I've been making do with pants and skirts that were a little too big to begin with and the bella band on pants I can no longer close, but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep that up. I really need to find some more second hand stores for maternity clothes since I am just trying to bide time until I can wear spring and summer skirts, which I'm pretty sure will fit.

post #100 of 425

I can't remember what point in the pregnancy it happened with Elsa, but I did end up where I didn't lose any hair in the shower at all.  It was so nice, since normally I shed like a malamute.  That hasn't happened yet so I don't know if I'm just not at the point where it stops, or if this is just a different pregnancy.  But it definitely can happen!

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