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Mothering › Groups › June 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › So does this feel real to you yet?

So does this feel real to you yet?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

Sometimes I feel like the fact that we're going to have another baby is still sinking in....then I have weird moments where I feel fierce love for this unborn baby. I feel the transition, I think, from the abstract idea of "baby".....to the feeling that a new child is in the air around us.

 

Anybody else feeling a slow transition from loving the "idea" of a baby.....to feeling real connection and intense love for your child and a real sense that the baby is coming?

 

I'm 16 weeks. With my DD it took even longer to realize that she was a real baby I think, just because I had no idea REALLY what it was going to be like. With DS I felt it much sooner than 16 weeks...but I wanted him and begged my DH for him and he was a gift from my DH to me and I had already experienced that TRUE love you feel when they are born and knew what I was getting into.

 

This time it's come later. I think that's just because it was such a shock and we were so "done" that it's been weird to turn my mind back to baby mode....but man, I'm really starting to feel it and I'm getting excited!! Having a bump definitely makes a difference I think! It's like, REALLY actually happening!

post #2 of 21

Nope doesnt feel real yet.  Not until I am bigger and feel the baby move around.  I wish I could be 7 months for a long time, that is the best :) 

post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post

Nope doesnt feel real yet.  Not until I am bigger and feel the baby move around.  I wish I could be 7 months for a long time, that is the best :) 



Haha, yeah, no kidding!

post #4 of 21
Definitely not real to me yet. I am sooo ready to feel real, distinguishable baby movement! Also, we're finding out the gender next Friday hopefully, and we already have our names picked out for either gender, so he/she will have a real name after that & I can start thinking of him/her as a real little person smile.gif
post #5 of 21

It's starting to feel real now that I know were having a girl. I think it will really sink in for me when I move. Right now I am very focused on that and my school work. I think about Ellie all the time but not about the reality of getting to hold her and care for her.

post #6 of 21

I feel like it's a gradual process. We have been talking a lot about the actual baby care stuff lately, since this is dh's first and he has so much to learn about it all!  So that makes it seem more real. But in general, I think it takes the full 9 months to really wrap your brain around it totally... there's a good reason it takes so long!

post #7 of 21

Only in the last week or so has the essence of our new babe been strong in our house.It's funny because as soon as I really started to feel the connection (finally permitting myself to develop a strong loving attachment) my 4 year old picked up the thread. He talks about the new baby all day. He is very concerned for the babies well being. It's sweet he saw the growth pictures at the midwives office, now he is constantly talking about babies bubble it lives in and it's mysterious hose.

post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tri31 View Post

Only in the last week or so has the essence of our new babe been strong in our house.It's funny because as soon as I really started to feel the connection (finally permitting myself to develop a strong loving attachment) my 4 year old picked up the thread. He talks about the new baby all day. He is very concerned for the babies well being. It's sweet he saw the growth pictures at the midwives office, now he is constantly talking about babies bubble it lives in and it's mysterious hose.



TOO DAMN CUTE!

post #9 of 21

it has felt real to me for a while now. i have 4 already so i am nervous about a fifth coupled with the knowledge that i got this. i know all too well what adding a kid does to the family and how tight things are. i feel like i am nesting already. i am all over getting things together and ready now. i am about to start on some nb dipes. i plan to make them out of old tshirts. i will use these one for the meconium part and then switch to my prefolds when the the babe hits the right size. that should only take a couple of weeks as mine start out almost 8 lbs anyway. i already have all the clothes i need for the first 3 months, whether boy or girl. it will be summer so it is just shirts and dipes, maybe socks, and a sling or wrap. i think my body knows i wont have energy later when i get bigger so it wants to do it now. i just wish i knew what i was having. i would have already bought the car seat and some other stuff. but i am only 12 weeks so i gotta wait awhile to find out yet. 

post #10 of 21

I'm in that phase where I don't really feel pregnant.  The m/s is gone, I feel fantastic, but I don't really feel the baby move.   I mean, I *think* I *might* have felt the baby a couple times, but I'm also not 100% positive, and haven't convinced myself it wasn't just gas.  It's surreal, a bit, for me. 

DD is super excited and asks how big the baby is, and says, "when the baby is this big [holds up her dolly] then my baby brother or sister will come out, right?" 

And then I tell her, "yes, round about!" and

she asks, "So how big is baby now?" 

 And she asks me a couple times a day, "How is our baby doing?" 

 

It's so adorable, it makes me want to squeal.  But even though I've seen the baby on ultrasound several times more than I'd planned, it still feels a little like a dream.

 

I'm really looking forward to feeling the baby move.  I can't talk to the baby before that, it makes me feel crazy. 

post #11 of 21

What a great thread!  I've been mulling these kinds of things about in my mind, so it's great to see others kind of experiencing similar thoughts as to if it feels real yet or not.  I have to say, I certainly don't feel that things are as 'magical' with this pregnancy as I did with my DS.  I wonder, is it because I'm so busy looking after him, is it because there are so many 'firsts' that we no longer have because it is the second time around, etc.  I mean, I still marvel at the miracle of life within me, and I'm excited to welcome this little one into our family.  But I'm also feeling quite overwhelmed lately, probably because we've had three different cold and flu viruses go through our home and affect all three of us over the last month, so maybe I've been merely just getting through things and not being fully present and in the moment with what has been happening inside me?

 

 The other thing is, I notice that when I was pregnant with DS, I was treated differently by everyone, like I was going through this passage into motherhood and people were really enthusiastic to share their stories, well wishes, help out, etc.  But now, since I have DS in tow, nobody seems to take much notice that I'm pregnant.  It's like maybe I've 'been there, done that' so it's not a big deal.  Perhaps that is why it's not feeling as real to me, too... I am feeling some movement, at night when I lay in bed and all is quiet and still and I tune into my baby.  Would finding out the sex of the baby when I have my anatomy scan in a couple weeks would make a difference?  I was wanting to wait until the birth to find out, this time around... I was hoping to experience that big surprise the day he/she arrives.

post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by TenzinsMama View Post

 The other thing is, I notice that when I was pregnant with DS, I was treated differently by everyone, like I was going through this passage into motherhood and people were really enthusiastic to share their stories, well wishes, help out, etc.  But now, since I have DS in tow, nobody seems to take much notice that I'm pregnant.  It's like maybe I've 'been there, done that' so it's not a big deal.  Perhaps that is why it's not feeling as real to me, too...

I'm feeling this way a lot this time around. I have three little ones already and feel like everyone thinks this has been to done to death in our family & aren't nearly as excited for me this time as they were the other times. Not one person has mentioned anything about my pregnancy in public, and with all three other babies, I was already being asked when I was due, what is the gender, what is his/her name, etc. by now. I'm definitely showing majorly at this point, so I have NO idea why no one has made a single comment yet!
post #13 of 21

Just recently :)  The belly's too big to ignore, and I feel baby move every time I sit down!  I am beyond excited to find out gender on Jan. 18 - dying for that day.  Then I can start nesting :)

post #14 of 21

becoming, check this out:  http://www.thespec.com/living/familyparenting/article/641615--the-payback-pregnancy  I thought it was such a fabulous find and I could have written it myself!

 

post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by TenzinsMama View Post

becoming, check this out:  http://www.thespec.com/living/familyparenting/article/641615--the-payback-pregnancy  I thought it was such a fabulous find and I could have written it myself!

 



Great link! I know how she feels.

post #16 of 21

Yes, I can relate. :)  I feel pregnant and think I finally look pregnant but I still feel like my pregnancy isn't getting as much attention as it should. This is our third, and DD has been having health issues for the past month(s), + my prolonged m/s and DH's crazy schedule. Maybe that's why?

 

Anyway, I've been feeling blue about the fact that I'm almost 16 weeks and DH and I haven't discussed anything about the new baby. Like, how will we fit our new little one's things in our tight space? How can we plan financially for the needs that will come up soon for replacing baby items (few but pricey)? Talking about Godparents, names, family dynamics and just plain enjoying being a couple with me being pregnant totally hasn't happened. :( I have talked to DH about this but I know that I need to try to seek out some other pregnant mamas IRL and maybe that will help with the reality, too.

 

 

post #17 of 21

sraplayas, I'm right with you on so many of those things!  I've been feeling blue quite a bit for the past month, and I brought up a bunch of this stuff with my DH just recently.  I was pretty grumpy when I was talking about it all, so I'm sure he was wishing he was anywhere else but beside me at that moment.  But it was festering.  It seems to come down to me to make the first move, if we are to talk about it.  So I got us started on thinking about how we will turn our office into a nursery, and how we need a touch down spot for our laptop that will be in a good place so I can keep an eye on the two kids and try to get some stuff done (a big part of this is figuring out what we need in terms of furniture, and what needs to be tossed to make space)... I'm trying to work out what we should do about the nursing situation with DS (do I work towards weaning him completely before baby comes, do I set some more limits but still get my head wrapped around tandem nursing?)-- I'll need lots of support from him in different ways, when it come to either... and, something I think is super critical, is that we need to talk about the things we can put in place beforehand and also those we could have at-the-ready, should we feel overwhelmed from sleep deprivation, baby care, and our son's needs (not sure what 22 month olds do when a new baby takes up residence, but I hope he adjusts well).  And extended family dynamics will certainly come into play with the latter... Oh, and one thing I've really been missing is the pure excitement that DH openly displayed when I was pregnant with DS-- I know he's tired, as am I, by the time 10pm rolls around and we crash into bed, but I just wish that he would play more attention to my belly and be playful and wonder about the baby in there.  I don't know-- would it make a difference if we knew the sex of the baby?  I know that it will help with feeling real and all that once we have a lot of movement, especially the ones that he can see/feel.  Are you going to find out?  I'm trying to remember, are you still nursing a little one?

post #18 of 21
Yep, that article says a lot about how I'm feeling, only without all the miserable stuff, because I really FEEL okay now, thank goodness.
post #19 of 21

Loved reading that article, made me laugh and totally understand at the same time.  I guess only NOW does it make sense why everyone was doting over SIL's pregnancy and whispering congratulations to me on the side as to not upset her by saying it aloud.  :o(

post #20 of 21

Yes, I loved that article! It was great. It is so funny, I feel sometimes like I need to wear a shirt with a big arrow pointing towards my tummy!

 

Tenzinsmama---yes, I'm still nursing DS 1-2x per day now (he's almost 3!). He still sleeps with us.:) We are going to find out the gender of baby in two weeks. I've felt the baby move for quite a while, and heard the HB, but maybe seeing the U/S together will help DH enter in a little more......

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