Santa and extended family

[bluedaisy]

My DD just turned 3 and for various reasons we don't do Santa.  She has seen pictures of him so she can recognize who he is, but I don't think she even knows his "story" at this point - that he comes down the chimney and leaves gifts, etc.  She's not in preschool or daycare and most of our friends don't do santa so she just hasn't really been exposed to it.

My sister has 2 kids, 3 and 5.  She does Santa and is very excited about it. We'll all be going to my parent's house on Christmas day around lunchtime and celebrating Christmas together.  We'll be staying for 2 or 3 days.

I know her kids are going to be so excited about what Santa brought and ask DD what Santa brought her.  It's never been an issue other years because DD wasn't old enough so I could just tell my neice that Santa did come to our house.  But this year DD is old enough to say that Santa didn't come or bring her anything, that her presents were from mom and dad, etc.  And she's not old enough to explain that some kids believe in Santa so she has to keep the "secret" etc.

I respect my sister's parenting choices and i don't want to ruin it for her kids, but I'm not sure what to tell DD or how to handle the "what did Santa bring you?" questions.

Any advice?

[wehrli]

we would really like to not do Santa in our house but I'm afraid of the same things... hoping for some good advice!

[RStelle]

For me & my sister when we were growing up, my parents didn't teach that Santa was real, but they did read us some books about Santa, like The Polar Express and The Night Before Christmas. They just never implied that they were real, it was just that Santa was a nice fairy tale to tell around Christmas. I remember being totally weirded out and thinking my friend was crazy when I realized that she actually thought the stories were real, I was like, "Um, you know that's not real, right?", I actually remember arguing with kids at school about it. That probably wasn't good, but for me Christmas was still magical and wonderful without Santa.

Anyway, my DD isn't old enough now, but I pan on telling her the story of Santa, but we will do it as pretend, we won't tell her it's real.  But we'll explain that most kids like to think that Santa is a real person, and that it would make them sad if they knew he wasn't. 

I'm worried about the in-laws, though, they are all ready getting all excited about Santa, we've tried to explain it to them but they think we are crazy and horribly depriving DD with it so they are all ready going over the top with Santa everything. This year it doesn't matter but next year will be hard with that, I think.

[JollyGG]

Honestly the question the kids are really asking is "What did you get for Christmas?" I'd just coach her to answer that question. Her cousins really just want to know what cool toys she got, not who gave them to her.

Does your sister know that you don't do Christmas? Even at three and five I easily explained to my kids that different people belive different things and celebrate different ways. Santa only goes to the homes that believe in Santa. So cousin X didn't get a visit from Santa becaus that isn't how they celebrate Christmas.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

We don't celebrate Christmas but my ILs do. We do NOT do Santa. But one of very good friend's ds really likes Santa. My ds has no idea who Santa is or any of the story (ds is 4). One day I had both kids in the car and friend's ds was saying (over and over and over) 'Santa comes at night' wanting my ds to respond. Well ds had no idea what his friend was talking about so he responded 'I'm nocturnal. I sleep during the day and am awake at night'

My point being that kids will often sorta be like 'I have no idea what you are talking about' and then latch on to the one thing they do understand and talk about that.


Also if they ask your dd 'what did Santa bring you?' you can say 'dd cousin wants to know what presents you got'

[philomom]

We traveled at holiday time for years because of this very issue. I didn't want to play along nor did I want to spoil it for the cousins.