UCers, come on in! « Back to Group Discussions

[FeralFox]

If you're planning to UP/UC, come chat with me!  This will be my first UC after having my son in a hospital after a failed home birth - epidural, monitoring, episiotomy, vacuum, the whole nine yards.  I'm going to get shadow care from a midwife, because my insurance pays it completely, but we'll be birthing at home, just me and the husband (and maybe my son, we'll see how he feels).

So what's your plan?  UP or getting traditional care?  Going to get testing and ultrasounds?  Planning to have a midwife on backup call?  Doing it completely alone?  Have you had a UC before?  I'd really love to hear from some other UCing mamas, and chat about the experience.

[~Demeter~]

I UP'd with my daughter.. almost UC'd but had some bleeding that was concerning right at the end so I transferred, I didn't have any shadow care and the transfer was TERRIBLE. The doctor was not kind... I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do this time around, I'd really love another UP, it was so peaceful... my entire pregnancy was far more relaxed than the 4 before it and I had no complications with any of my pregnancies... I don't know, it's definitely a totally different experience and one I really enjoyed.

[suddenlyamama]

Hi. New to this group as we only found out a couple days ago that we are expecting our second.

I "think" I plan on having care with a doctor up until I am due, and then UC'ing. Our insurance does not cover midwife fees otherwise that would be what I would have planned. To be honest I am super nervous, but I would be more nervous about going to the hospital.

I want to be a part of this thread to get some info. Looking forward to hearing what others have for plans. 

[intime0]

me!  nursing.  more later,

[Lizbiz]

Count me in... I'll probably end up UCing, with prenatal care from a doc.  I've homebirthed with a midwife and then UCed with my second.  Both births were very smooth - the first was loooong (31 hour labor) and the second was blessedly not as long (9 hour labor).  

I loved both births... If it's possible though, I think... I might prefer having a midwife in attendance... but I totally get why one would choose to UC.  (My choice to UC was sort of not a choice - there were no midwives or doctors that attend homebirths and a Chinese hospital sounded awful.)  I also loved our midwife who delivered my first... she was on the phone with us via Skype right after my daughter was born here in China :).  She helped give us instructions how to cut the cord.  I totally trust her and wish I could fly her in to deliver all my babies!  She was so chilled out and reassuring and very flexible and patient.

We worked quite diligently to prepare for the UC.  We had back up care at a hospital and had developed a relationship with a doctor.  We had done a lot of homework and studied up on possible complications and what to do.  We also had a few medications shipped to us to help in the short run with heavy bleeding, and we had two taxi companies (no reliable ambulances here) on call waiting to take me to the hospital if I needed a transfer.  We did have a few ultrasounds to confirm baby's position and things like cord around the neck (which she did have, wrapped once and it didn't cause any issues).  We also reserved blood from the blood bank because Chinese hospitals don't regularly carry my blood type.  It was complicated - but totally worth all of the hassle!  

I know not everyone UCs this way - we were pretty confident about following our intuition, but wanted to be as prepared as possible if there were any issue or problem.  

I'll look forward to connecting with you ladies on this!  

[IntuitiveJamie]

I had a UC with my first, a mw birth with 2nd and I would love to have a UC with this one. My dh is not on board, however. Although everything went very well the first time. Perfectly, beautifully and wonderfuly actually.

I'll share the story of how it came about and why we had a mw birth the next time, later when I'm feeling more up to it.

Anyhow, my goal is to UC this time. I'm not going to lie about it or try to trick anyone or anything like that; but intuitively I feel it will happen. We will be seeing a mw, but not until 2nd trimester and not often. She's also a friend, so she'll be down with whatever I want.

I'll add that my first birth was only 3 hours, my 2nd was 7.5 hours. Both are obviously pretty short labors. I know that it can be different for every birth, but it is likely that this one will be short as well. I wouldn't be surprised if that played into having a UC this time.

I do know that the mind is a powerful thing. I also tend to manifest exactly what I want. So although I can't say we'll be planning a UC outwardly, in my heart, I will be.

[BaileyB]

Yay! This is exciting!

I have been induced for both of my pregnancies. #1 because the baby was stillborn and #2 because they were worried because of having a previous stillborn that they never found the cause for. I am UPing for sure this time and probably UCing but will really actually decide when I go into labor. I never knew UCing or UPing was even a thing but I had a voice telling me to not go to the doctor when I got pregnant and to birth at home and that everything would be fine....then I come to find out that all that is called a UP! I'm just planning on weighing myself every once in a while, taking my BP, Pulse, and Temp. every few days or so/few times a week-ish. I've been taking supplements and tissue salts and trying to eat healthy. (Other than the coffee and egg mcmuffins....) Mostly I am trying to just stay calm, relaxed, go with the flow, etc. I've been feeling pretty good this pregnancy so far. It feels like I have been pregnant longer than only being almost 5 weeks because I knew I was pg since the day after conception.

LizBiz, can I ask a really ignorant question? Do the Chinese still only allow one child per family? And if they do, how do they feel about non-chinese families living in China having multiple children? Sorry if that is really dumb.

Jamie, I totally know what you mean about manifesting your own destiny. When I was in college, I was walking to class and had a voice tell me that maybe I should be keeping my eye out for good men and not long after I met my now husband. Then he was traveling at his old job and I was thinking that we need to move back to where he grew up and he needed to stop traveling and it all happened. My DH is not 100% on board with a UC but I am not pushing the subject. I just told him we will go with the flow and I think that will be the best way to 'convince' without having to actually convince him. If he's not stressed out by it or always hearing me go on and on about it I think it will just happen.

[Lizbiz]

Hey BaileyB - The government here is realizing the demographic nightmare they are causing by the one-child policy and are now easing up.  But, as of now, yes, pretty much it's one child per family for the Han people (they are the majority ethnic group here - they make up 90% of the Chinese population), unless two only children marry each other - then they can have two children now.  Minority people can have multiple children.  However, the norm here is now one child and many couples do not plan to have any more than one even if they are allowed by law - because people now have the idea that more than one child is too big a burden to support.  People spend tremendous amounts of money and energy on their one child - so I can see why they think that.  And many young people now don't even want one child at all.  It's a very interesting time here - people are, well, a little selfish in this regard right now - it's the first time a good portion of Chinese are actually prosperous and they want to enjoy that for themselves.  Many people here realize the problems with these attitudes and practices though and are preaching against the tide.  I admire them, but their voices are softer than the majority at the moment!

Foreign families are not subject to this law - so we can have as many children as we want here.  Whew! 

[BaileyB]

That's really interesting! I guess if your family has been really poor for such a long time and then you are finally prospering you don't want to go back to being poor. Why are you in China?

[intime0]

I've had 3 UP's and 2 UC's.  (You can read my birth stories on my blog.)

With my 2nd UP, I developed pre eclampsia and my husband took me in. They tried to give me a csection that evening but we declined.  We came back the next day and they induced, slowly and easily. I ended up pushing into DH's hands without anyone knowing.  The doctor wasnt called until after the fact. JUST how I wanted it.

I VERY much want another UC.  But most important is a visa, as we go back to the states a few months later.  So we will have to follow the laws here by hiring a doctor to support the birth.  Basically, he just sees me a few times and signs off on teh paperwork.  I'll know more after i visit with him in a few months. 

I'm VERY VERY hands off. I do not want to be touched or tested on throughout the pregnancy. 

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by intime0 

I've had 3 UP's and 2 UC's.  (You can read my birth stories on my blog.)

With my 2nd UP, I developed pre eclampsia and my husband took me in. They tried to give me a csection that evening but we declined.  We came back the next day and they induced, slowly and easily. I ended up pushing into DH's hands without anyone knowing.  The doctor wasnt called until after the fact. JUST how I wanted it.

I VERY much want another UC.  But most important is a visa, as we go back to the states a few months later.  So we will have to follow the laws here by hiring a doctor to support the birth.  Basically, he just sees me a few times and signs off on teh paperwork.  I'll know more after i visit with him in a few months. 

I'm VERY VERY hands off. I do not want to be touched or tested on throughout the pregnancy. 

After all that I've been through and especially after my last birth I feel very much the same... I'm not sure how to go about that though and not feel threatened like I did last time when I needed to transfer. They were looking for anything and everything to be wrong with my beautiful baby girl... and in fact CAUSED some issues with all of their interventions. I had 4 inductions prior to her (went on my own naturally) and had NEVER been treated that way before. I don't think I CAN go through that again... I'm trying not to obsess over details at this point. :) Trying, lol.

[Lizbiz]

Hey BaileyB - I work for a major US research university here doing admin for a grad school joint venture.  We came here 4 years ago to learn Chinese/get to know another side of the planet.  It's been a great adventure!

Intime0 - I'm not sure about Singapore law - but we had a UC in China (which was technically illegal), and didn't get a Chinese birth certificate (which was technically required by the consulate to issue her US passport) - and the US consulate still issued her a Certificate of Birth Abroad (which is now her only birth certificate), and thus issued her a passport.  At least here in China, they allowed us to use the Certificate of Birth Abroad from the US Consulate along with her US Passport to get her visa at the Chinese Public Security Bureau.  It was slightly involved in that we took lots of pictures, had letters of testimony written by doctors and friends to our pregnancy - we even recorded the birth on our digital camera - all this in order to prove to the US Consulate that she was ours in lieu of a birth certificate.  Our interview with the US Consulate went off without a hitch.  As did our visa application with the Chinese side - maybe something similar is possible in Singapore? 

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by intime0 

I've had 3 UP's and 2 UC's.  (You can read my birth stories on my blog.)

With my 2nd UP, I developed pre eclampsia and my husband took me in. They tried to give me a csection that evening but we declined.  We came back the next day and they induced, slowly and easily. I ended up pushing into DH's hands without anyone knowing.  The doctor wasnt called until after the fact. JUST how I wanted it.

That is so cool! We were thinking about traveling to Dallas in July before I knew I pregnant and now I still think it would be kind of fun to have a UC on the road. That would be such an adventure! We'll see...Haven't really decided yet, we are going to take it 1 week/day/month at a time. Very laid back this time after 2 back to back pregnancies, inductions, stillborn, etc.

Lizbiz, do you know Mark White by any chance? He's a friend of mine who was in China maybe a year or 2 ago, I forget now, but I think it might have been related to grad school. He's in Iowa now working for John Deere as a engineer I think. I wanna say he was an Engineering and Chinese major. It's been a long time since I have talked to him.

[Tizzy]

Hey everyone, I guess I belong here :)

I took a break from MDC, but couldn't stay away for too long, especially when I needed to find my DDC!

I've had a C/S, then two wonderful UC's. I haven't recognized any names in this thread, so it'll be nice to "meet" some new people! :)

[intime0]

LizBiz, NO WAY!  You just gave me a HUGE amount of hope.  Thank you. UC is NOT illegal here nor is homebirth, but as you well know, Asians like to follow policy so it's just not done much.  Yes, I will look into that.  That's awesome. 

As far as having to transfer, I just don't let them touch  my baby.  The thing is, no matter where or how we have our babies, they are OUR babies and our bodies.  We set down the guidelines for my induction. And they followed. My husband made the doctor agree to many things before we agreed to come in.  Once they did, we made them stick to it. 

When the baby came, no one touched him.  We left after 4 hours. 

So if you have to emergency transfer, the baby is still yours.  Go against medical counsel.  It's okay.  and it's worth it to keep them from prodding and poking your baby.  Tell them YOU are there for help, NOT your baby.  Don't let them do a THING with your baby.  Unless you feel it's necessary.  My husband let the doctor put a pulse-ometer on our sons finger tip because he was having some weird breathing.  (Which he did for weeks afterwards.)  NOTHING ELSE. No tests, no shots.  I think we weighed him on the bed ourselves.  Then I left and went home and slept in my own bed. 

Even for my daughter's birth, I kept her baby within my line of sight the entire time...she had  a csection.  and I'm telling you, they werent loving it.  But that was my daughter's wishes and I followed it! 

Just remember that they are only doctors and they don't care about your personal best interests.  They have to do what's best for the masses...which sometimes isnt always what's best for you. They have to do what they have to do. Which is great for emergencies and special conditions.  But not always for normal, average birth.

[IntuitiveJamie]

I talked with my mw today. Upthread I mentioned that I would like to UC, but dh is not on board (even though we've done it before and it went great). However, in my heart I'm still planning a UC, so I'm going to stick around this thread as it gets into full swing.

I am also doing mainly UP. But I know my dh will not be comfortable with this either, so I talked with the mw we use and her and I agreed upon three visits only. One at 13 weeks, 25 and 36. I'm comfortable with this.

At my first visit with her, I will explain my desire for a UC and be very honest about the possibility of not calling her. I will also talk to her about if she is her, just staying in the other room while I birth and simply be there for my dh's peace of mind. I know she will be fine with all of this. (She's also a friend and whom I mentored under when I was training to be a doula).

So all of this feels very good to me.

Now to get the convo going I'd love to hear why you ladies believe in and are comfortable with UP/UC.  My reasons are:

1. I trust birth.

2. I have a lot of knowledge about pregnancy and birth and feel totally comfortable in using it on myself. I trust me.

3. I have a lot of knowledge about nutrition and feel comfortable in my ability to guide have excellent nutrition during pregnancy; which I do believe can make all the difference in the world.

4.I don't trust the medical community, in general, but definitely not for pregnancy and birth (unless a true emergency arose).

5. Spiritual beliefs lead me to UC/UP

Those are my main reasons.  There are maybe a couple of more, but these are the ones that stand out to me as most important for me to UP/UC I'd love to hear your reasons for choices. Not for debate, for interest and support only.

[intime0]

Jamie, your plan sounds great!  I may try that route myself.  We arent seeing anyone until March or so.  (Because we have to.)

My reasons:

1.  Birth is not an emergency.  It's a beautiful, private time for a family to enjoy their new family member.

2.  I trust birth.  I trust my body.  I do not trust doctors.

3.  I want to be able to birth my way, the entire time. 

Which to me means:

No one talks to me, no one touches me. 

I have my family on speed dial...LOL.  Meaning, my kidlets will get me whatever I want but leave me be.  My husband will attend to me by praying or reading scripture or encouraging me. But he does not touch me. Just the way I like it.

I also UP because doctors FIX things.  THerefore, they are LOOKING for things to fix.  Why would I need to go get fixed, when there is nothing wrong.  He will find something if I let him look.

That being said, we check for stuff, too.  We aren't willy nilly totally against the doctor.  Nope, they are there for emergencies!  I feel that way across the board and with my children.

[IntuitiveJamie]

Intime- I also do not like to be touched or talked to during labor. I like it completely quiet and dark.  I am looking forward to having my children there this time, but they will have someone that is responsible for them, so if they are getting too loud for me, or are uncomfortable with what's going on, they are welcome to remove themselves. I do hope they will be present when she comes out though. But if not, that's okay.

One thing I consider is that although I don't trust doctors, I do trust my mw. And my dh often reminds me that just b/c you can do something on your own, doesn't mean you should. Why not have someone with knowledge be present in case there is an emergency? Or what I've decided I like about the three visits, is that the mw does offer a few things I don't have. Why not use her for her knowledge, skills and capabilities?  So although I feel I could do it all 100% on my own. I totally trust me to do that. I trust other women to do that. There is something nice about having other ppl with skills they trained in and spent extra time learning available.  I certainly don't require it though.  And I still want to birth alone.