12/19 Weekly Chat Thread - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[BaileyB]

Wow! Aimee that is great! What a little bean!!!

Demeter, we lived with my husband's parents for 6 months when we were engaged and waiting for people to move out of the house we bought. We lucked out and got along well with them but I can def. understand how wanting and needing your own place feels. And as for feeling if-y about being pregnant I can understand that, too. I got pregnant with DD 6 weeks after having our first daughter stillborn and I had just come out of a few day stint in a mental health ward of a hospital for a suicide watch and ended up having a lot of bleeding early on with the pregnancy. I know a lot of the time I either was in denial of being pregnant or felt that it was probably going to be a miscarriage or ectopic. I got pregnant in May and it took me driving past some corn and noticing that it wasn't green anymore and had turned brown and was ready to harvest for me to accept that I was pregnant and almost 20 weeks! Don't feel bad if you are not always feeling connected to your bump. It can take a while when other big things are on your mind.

LilyTIger, I had to quit my job when I was in my first trimester with DD#1. I was calling in sick 3 days a week. I hope it lets up for you soon. I can't say I have any real advice on how to get through it, but I can commiserate. I can also understand the scared feelings. I was going to say something else about the scared feelings but DD distracted me and pregnancy brain made it disappear so I will tell you later if I can remember...haha. Sorry!

[eleuthia]

Aimee, what a great picture! Mine (from 5w6d) is so fuzzy I could probably pass it off as Sasquatch running through the forest. Fortunately my uterus should pop forward by my 12 week scan. 

I felt LOUSY today. Which is partly a relief, but was also not very fun. 

[O's mommy]

Hello!  I am a long time lurker and don't post much but I just may start . 

My name is Karen and I am pregnant with my third child due around 8/21- 8/26.  We have a 7 y.o. DD and a 3 y.o. DS. 

[Ninetales]

I love how clear your scan is, Aimee.  The baby is shaped exactly how all the websites say they are right now, it looks perfect.

I'm not a first timer so I won't be having a shower but I've been dreaming of the few things I want to get for the newb.  I have a decent stroller for Elsa right now but I think I'm going to save up for a Baby Jogger City Mini.  I was looking at the doubles but Elsa isn't a big stroller fan anymore.  If she needs to ride I can always wear the baby.

Which leads me to wanting to buy a Beco Butterfly.  I used an Ergo with Elsa and I liked it but I never felt comfortable with back carries, and I had to wait for her to grow into it, so I think a Beco might be more the ticket for me.

I also want a new diaper bag.  Since I don't see Elsa potty training any time soon I'm thinking a Skip Hop Duo.  That's a lot of pennies to save by August, haha!

[Knitting Mama]

I have a Beco Gemini and I adore it. To me, it is more versatile than an Ergo. You can use it backpack style like an Ergo for back carries, but also cross style for front carries. And, if you end up with a baby who absolutely hates facing inward for a period of time (like Cecilia from months 4-7), you can do a proper forward facing carry, with the legs supported correctly.

We won't do a shower this time either, but we will probably do a blessingway, and maybe ask for something like a double stroller (if Cece still loves riding in strollers then like she does now). Mostly I think we'll ask for contributions towards a newborn photo shoot.

[~Demeter~]

I don't care for any carrier with buckles, lol. Well... maybe a half buckle I would be able to tolerate. Too many things to keep track of and adjust. I love wrapping and my babyhawk MT.

No shower here, either, even though I was pretty much forced to get rid of all of my things before we move. :( I think that's what jinxed me.

[ainh]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~ 

 sometimes, when I'm not sure I 'feel' pregnant, I think that it would be okay if I lost the baby/pregnancy... does that make sense and not sound like I'm a total crazy person or really disgusting?

I just can't deal with anybody else's disappointment on top of my own... I guess maybe I feel a little bit of shame that I'm pregnant again, too,

I can relate.  I don't want to get into the details, lest the flaming begin.  But I too am feeling some shame.  As much as I've always wanted a third, this feels like a mistake and I'm devastated when I see other people losing their babies...I just wish I could trade them for a minute.  I hate that some people try so hard and would be such great parents and I feel inadequate.  And now with this weird cyst that might require surgery during pregnancy I'm just feeling very negative about things....

[IntuitiveJamie]

Hello O's mommy! Welcome.

To everyone that is having a hard time. I don't feel like there are many words that are too helpful. But do remember, there are mass hormones at play and it does matter. It also sounds like there is emotions and healing that still need to occur. And stress, oh boy, the stress. But you can get through this. You WILL get through this. Clearly, y'all are strong women!

  In my first pregnancy, I was such a mess hormonally, I decided my husband was a beast and would be this awful parent and I tried to leave him. It wasn't true (that he was awful), he's an amazing husband and father. But for a moment (and many other crazy hormonal moments that 9 months), I was up and down and all over the place, and it was really tough on everyone around me. We were both very afraid of me getting pregnant a second time.

I'm certainly not trying to diminish what you are going through. I just want to gently remind that the physiological changes going on in your body, on top of your daily stressors is not always a great mix. Go easy on yourselves. Honor your feelings; no beating yourselves up.

Aimee- Great news about your edd.

No baby shower here, although I already had a friend ask if she could throw me one. But I'm very interested in having a gender reveal party. I'll prob. ask for no gifts though. I really just want to do the cute gender reveal ideas. They seem so fun.

I'm really ready for the big Christmas day to be here. Normally I feel that way b/c I've completely overextended myself and done too much and I'm stinkin worn out. I have not done a darn thing this year, due to feeling poopy all month. But I'm ready for it to be here b/c my oldest son (6) is expecting a certain gift and he's obsessed with it and talks about it all.the.time. He'll even come to bed at 4 am and start whispering in my dh's ear about. it like he's been dreaming about it all night. And he wants to look it up on the computer and watch videos about it etc etc. He's been wanting this for about 5 weeks, so it's really not so cute anymore. It's actually really irritating. So I just want him to have it already so he can play it and be quiet about it. Seriously. I'll be so glad when it's Sunday!

[Willovia]

Originally Posted by LilyTiger 

And Demeter, so sorry you're having a rough time.  My husband and I were actively trying for a baby and I still have days when I'm overwhelmed with our dogs and work and everything else where I wonder if this was a good idea.  It's a really scary experience (at least for me), since you can feel like everything, including your own body, is totally out of your control.  I hope things get better soon!

LilyTiger, that pretty much sums up my experience so far. I had the "did we make a mistake?" conversation with my husband last night. And on some level, Demeter, I had the same thoughts creep in where if I miscarried maybe it wouldn't be so bad? I can't believe I let the thought creep into my head, but hormones are doing some crazy things to me. And for what it's worth, living with family isn't an easy thing - whether you're single, one child, or 6 - so that's understandably stressful. Hopefully it's just a temporary living situation, and as family gets used to the idea of a new baby, things settle down a bit for you.

[Willovia]

Originally Posted by IntuitiveJamie 

  In my first pregnancy, I was such a mess hormonally, I decided my husband was a beast and would be this awful parent and I tried to leave him. It wasn't true (that he was awful), he's an amazing husband and father. But for a moment (and many other crazy hormonal moments that 9 months), I was up and down and all over the place, and it was really tough on everyone around me. We were both very afraid of me getting pregnant a second time.

Ding, ding, ding!! No way I can think of going through this a second time.

This morning I had a fight with my husband. He doesn't quite understand that this is NOT the time to be remodeling the bathroom and tearing up the house. Even though he's been planning this for months. I told him things have changed since we made these plans, and his response? "Things have changed, which is why you're in no position to be making decisions!" ::gasp::  I feel like so much is out of my control hormonally, that I need as much predictability and stability in my house as I can get. He tries to understand, but I still don't think he gets the hormones as much as he should. I need to give him something to read to educate him...once I start speaking to him again.

[Lisanne]

I need to start saving my pennies for car seats. I think I need 3 radians to fit 3 kids in my car and we only have one right now. I need a new wrap too. I have the Moby D with the fleece panel from my winter babies in Germany. I think I need a gauze version for summer in New Mexico. I have an Ergo Performance for my toddler, but I don't want to buy the infant insert, I'll just save it for when baby is bigger. I've already been looking at cloth diapers too. My SIL has my stash so when we announce we'll have to let her know to get going with the potty training :) Most of those diapers are larger or one size so I need NB stuff anyway. I'm thinking I'll be cheap and get prefolds. I intentionally got rid of some baby things so we can be minimalists this time. If we set up the crib it will just be for a safe place to set baby because I have 2 energetic kids and a dog, I gave my swing to a friend and sold the rocker/vibrating seat I had. 

[IntuitiveJamie]

Oh geez...they never get it, and unfortunately never will. I've had to remind myself of this each and every pregnancy! It's so annoying.

And just to give you some more perspective on how crazy raging I was the first pregnancy; I had a lunatic moment where my cordless phone didn't work.  So I had one of those moments that you see on tv where someone rages. Well  I did it in real life. First, I threw the phone against the wall (hard!) and that pretty much smashed it up. But that wasn't enough. So then I went and stomped on it to smitherines. By the time I got done with it, it was literally in a 100 tiny little pieces on the floor, unrecognizable as a phone.

I kid you not.

I was a true mess the first pregnancy, except for the fact that I felt amazing physically.

Fwiw- I agree that it's not a great time to be making changes like remodeling. Reducing stress is key now, not adding stress. And I cannot believe he actually said that to you about making decisions! Argh!!

[IntuitiveJamie]

Originally Posted by Lisanne 
 I intentionally got rid of some baby things so we can be minimalists this time.

I am a minimalist too. Also, I prefer used to new. Whatever I might need (aside from car seats) I will get hand me downs. I should have no problems doing this. Besides I don't need much for that first year. A couple of slings, and one bouncy seat for quick showers and stuff. Eventually we will need a dinner table seat of sorts. But that's about it. I've got cloth diapers covered.

Oh, I am wondering about a breast pump. I'm hoping to borrow one from my bff (and by all new accessories for it). Just in case. Hoping I don't need it, but don't want to be without one in case I do. I really needed one for my first, didn't at all need it for 2nd baby.

[Lisanne]

I must say my husband is being great. It took me a long time to talk him into this baby and he's still not really excited about having 3 kids, but last night when I had heartburn he wanted to run to the store for Tums. He was disappointed when I found some Maalox in the cupboard. I've never sent him out at night for anything and he said he wants me to this time. I usually get up at 6am and make him breakfast before he goes to work and I didn't yesterday. He didn't complain at all and just fixed his own eggs.

[BaileyB]

Eleuthia, I had a similar experience this morning. Coffee actually tasted bad to me and DD's peanut butter was making my stomach feel bubbly and I was like, "YES!". haha. I also had some blood streaked cm lastnite and today. Both times it was having a harder bm which caused a big gush of cm with a streak of blood. I think that is normal, I don't have any cramps and when I check my cervix there is no blood.

Welcome Karen. This is our third also and we are due the same time!

Ninetales, I am looking to get rid of my jogging stroller if you are interested in buying a used one. It has a few scratches on the tray part in the front but is otherwise in good shape. I want to get a double since my babies are going to be close in age.

Ainh, sometimes after DD goes to bed at night I will sit down on the couch and think, "I wish I was a better mom." I think it is normal to love our kids so much that we can feel that our kids' own mothers are not adequate for them.

Jamie, that is so funny about your son! I had DD's Christmas toys in the walk in closet for a few months and she would see them when I took her to get dressed and she would look at me and then look at them and look at me again, kinda puzzled. Then she saw me wrapping her new dolly and got really mad when she couldn't see her anymore. She will be so surprised to see those toys again under grandma's tree! ha.

I like being a minimalist, especially for newborns. I was at first but then stopped bf at 4 months and really regretted it when I had to start carrying formula everywhere with us.

Willovia, I don't have any good advice for you but I have had those fights before.

Lisanne, it just dawned on me yesterday that I will need another car seat. I have a full sized sedan and DD has a graco my ride carseat which is huge! I'm not really a fan of the infant seat/carriers but I think that that is all that will fit next to hers.

I am not having a shower either, as far as I know. DD woke up already from her nap, got to go!

[Knitting Mama]

Lisanne, I have a gauze wrap and I love love love it. It will totally be a mainstay when this baby comes.

I want to get this new Radian when this baby comes, too. Now that they're Diono and not Sunshine Kids, they've come out with a new model that is basically the XTsl with the addition of a backless booster to 120 lbs. From 5-120, it's literally the only carseat ever needed.

[Lisanne]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

Lisanne, I have a gauze wrap and I love love love it. It will totally be a mainstay when this baby comes.

I want to get this new Radian when this baby comes, too. Now that they're Diono and not Sunshine Kids, they've come out with a new model that is basically the XTsl with the addition of a backless booster to 120 lbs. From 5-120, it's literally the only carseat ever needed.

I love that car seat! I want the spring or plum color. My daughter's is gray so I might give the baby the gray one because we won't know the sex and get the plum or spring for my girls.
 

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by Lisanne 

I love that car seat! I want the spring or plum color. My daughter's is gray so I might give the baby the gray one because we won't know the sex and get the plum or spring for my girls.
 

That's exactly my thought too (hers is grey/black)! Plus, my daughter will be bigger as they get older, so it stands to reason that she should have a higher weight limit seat.

[Lisanne]

I don't have an infant insert for my gray one. I guess if I buy 2 new purple ones I could maybe take the infant cushions off one of theirs. I wonder if they are compatible with this one we have in gray.

[dovemama]

Good morning everyone.

I am saving my pennies too!

I have so many things I "want" but really I want this kiddo to be healthy.

But the material things I will be saving for are: double stroller, carseat, and a new diaper bag. Oh and a great high chair would be fun too. We have this nasty Eddie Bauer one, given to us by a gift, and it has so many nooks and crannies (ew).

I watched "The Help" last night. Cried and cried.

DH thought I was nuts.