What is up with the 4 am wake-up?!?

[cristeen]

Because I'm completely done.  I'm ready to leave him in his room and let him scream.  DH has been urging me to do it for weeks because I'm exhausted and on a constant short fuse because of it. 

He's been waking up at 4 am for the last 2 weeks now.  And I mean he's UP.  For the day.  So this weekend we decided to drop his nap completely and see if we could get him to sleep until a more reasonable hour.  The first night (Saturday), he woke up at 4, but went right back to sleep with his bottle.  Yeah!  Then last night he didn't.  He was up at 4 for at least an hour, maybe more like 2 (no clock, I just know it was a long freaking time because I wanted to scream) before finally falling back to sleep to wake up at 7 when daddy started his coffee.  It's not so much that he's awake, it's that he insists on keeping ME awake.  He'll lie in bed next to me for most of that time (I might have to remind him to lay down 2 or 3 times), but he's singing and talking and pinching my nipple endlessly.  If I roll over so he doesn't have access to my nipple (which I eventually do because I can only take so much), he'll go into full meltdown screaming fit, and obviously that's not conducive to sleep either. 

Besides the obvious of me not getting enough sleep and being on a very short fuse, he has huge black circles around his eyes because he's just not getting enough sleep.  Sunday morning he got up about 7, no nap at all and went to sleep within minutes of starting bedtime at 7:30.  Before we were starting bedtime at 8 (it would take an hour), he'd be up at 4 and would take a 90 minute-3 hours nap in the afternoon.  So getting him to sleep was tons easier, but he's still waking up at 4!

Not so long ago he would sleep until 5:30/6:00 before waking.  And then he'd be up.  I could deal with that.  I didn't really like it, but I could deal.  This 4 am stuff though, I'm not dealing.  I really need a solution here that allows me to get some sleep. 

And to make everything worse, we leave on Saturday for a week with family, where we're all going to be in one bedroom (with DH), and 9 other adults in the house to hear him screaming.  Not the way I want to spend the holiday. 

Help?

[azzeps]

I'm sorry.  4 AM is bad.  He is two? Could you turn on some cartoons for him? I mean, I know, it's not ideal, but he could sit there for an hour until you could get up.   Or kid-proof an area of his or your room, or contain him somehow and he can play on his own?  Two is probably too big for sitting and playing with toys in the pack n play.  I used to do that with my daughter, but I think she was younger than your son when I did that. 

About next week, maybe some family members will be able to help you? Grandma can get up with him and let you sleep in some?

Maybe does could having some running around outside time help him make it to a more normal wake up time?

I don't have any solutions, just ideas.  I hope that you find something that will help.  Coffee?

[cristeen]

So, the holiday went really well - for some reason he slept the whole time we were gone.  He even went to sleep for the grandparents (which he won't even do for daddy!) when they babysat so we could go out to dinner. 

But he's back to getting up at 4 now.  Yesterday was 4:30, today was 4:00.  The problem is that I have 2 options of places to sleep - if I sleep on the floor next to his bed, he'll just get up and play with his Legos when he's up (periodically coming and shoving them in my face to be sure I'm awake).  But I'm 5 mos pg, and sleeping on the floor every night is not a great idea - in fact DH just chewed me out for doing it.  But if I move to the couch (and he comes with me), then he won't go play with his Legos in his room, he wants me to play with him.  I'm not waking up in pain from the hardwood floor, but he's insisting I'm up instead of letting me doze a bit more.  Neither of these options is working for me.  And I don't understand his sleep patterns at all.  One night he slept 15 hours (falling asleep at 5 and not getting up until almost 8), the next night 8.  The next night was 16 hours (down at 4), and then back to 8.  Then yesterday he took a 2 hour nap, and 8 again last night.  WTF?!?! 

I just want some consistent sleep!!  I cannot do this with a NB, I can.not.  There has to be a solution I'm missing here. 

[twinpossible]

Thats hard! One of my 8 month twins wakes at 3 or 4 and hits me in the face saying "mum mum". Im a momma monster too :(

Haven't been there yet as a parent with a 2 year old BUT that was me as a child. My mom and I bedshared until I was 12. She became so fed up with me waking her before 6am that she began a house rule when I was age 2. I could not wake her before the sun was up or else. I then would bring toys to the room before bed to play with if I was up early or I would watch cartoons (age 3 and up). Maybe the toy idea would work, can he climb out of your bed easily?