How do I get thru the day with a cranky, exhausted 6m old who won't nap?

[Dot-to-Dot]

I am so angry.  I don't want to be resentful, but I NEED some alone time and my baby will not nap.  She won't even nap with me in a dark room right after being nursed.  She won't nap in a carrier and in fact will dive out the opening in the armpit.  So I've tried to wrap her tightly in the sleepy wrap and she arches her back until she is literally launching herself out of the wrap backwards.  She clearly hates the carriers.  She doesn't cry in them, she's just incredibly restless and if she isn't busting out of them she's thrashing her head back and forth and moving up and down knocking me in the chin with her skull.  It. is. maddening.

I am AP at heart, but out of sheer desperation I have bought a bunch of junk hoping she'd be lulled to sleep SOMEWHERE.  Motorized swing, boucer, rocking cradle, etc.  And then resigning to the fact that she's just gonna be awake all day I have bought more junk hoping she'd be occupied long enough for me to eat something...bumbo, playmat, stuff that lights up and makes sounds.  She grunts and wines and wants to be picked up the entire time she's placed in/on these contraptions.  My house is starting to look like DisneyLand and that is so not me.  But, like I said, I'm desperate.  I have needs of my own, ya know! 

So I hold her.  And while holding her, she's diving downward to the ground making it nearly impossible to hold her.  She twists and lurches all around and you seriously have to hold onto her tightly when walking through a doorway or she's liable to crack her head on the threshold.  It seems like she wants down...but, she doesn't.  If she isn't trying to get down, she's trying to nurse all. the. time.  She's in the 99th percentile at 6 months and very well fed.  We ebf.  It's tough to go anywhere when she's wanting to nurse every hour or two. 

My guess is that she is tired and wants something comforting, so she wants to nurse.  I think if she would just sleep during the day that she would feel better and not be so out of sorts and would probably happily play independently for short periods of time.  I'm not expecting a baby who sits quietly in the corner playing alone all day.  I just need to do quick chores that require two hands and I need to give my neck/shoulder/back a break from her constant physical resistance.

Does ANYONE have some experience with this temperament.  Any advice?  I have no idea what the hell to do with such a needy cranky baby all day.  If I sound grumpy...I am.  :(

P.S.  She is developing normally and hitting milestones...she sits up unassisted, rolls both ways, babbles normally, smiles and laughs, and surprisingly sleeps well at night as of a few weeks ago.

[crayfishgirl]

My daughter also hated carriers and sleeping during the day....even though she was exhausted.  Once she fell asleep at night (although getting her to sleep sometimes took a long time), she also slept well.  I used a ringsling and would hip carry her when she was your daughter's age.  I think she prefered it because she could see what was going on in the world and had her hands free, but was still snugged up close.  She would occasionally fall alseep too and I could just lay her down (although I only did that a few times because I was utterly pertified that she'd wake up.  I usually just sat or would lay down with her still in the sling).  Its not a solution, but it made things better.

[Dot-to-Dot]

I hear ya about being utterly petrified if they ever DO happen to fall asleep.  She gets really upset if I ever sit down with any of the carriers.  But, maybe I'll re-visit the ring sling and try that one again.  It's always been my least favorite, but I'll try it again and see if she likes it now that she's a little bigger. thank you

[crayfishgirl]

I was rushed when I wrote that last post. 

Has your daughter always been like that (i.e. scorning anything but arms?)?  Mine was as well, but at 6 months she was worseworseworse.  Are you familiar with the Wonder Weeks?  It helped me immensely in being patient when it seemed Fiona was just trying to test my resolve as a mother.  Basically, a group of Swedish (Dutch?) child development researchers found that babies were crabby/clingy/getting on mama's last nerve around the same time periods, and they found that these periods coincided with big developmental milestones (which they coined Wonder Weeks).  Fiona was following them pretty consistently, although it was occasionally hard to distinguish them from teething, extended travel for work that she accompanied me on, and her being sick for a week on two separate occasions.  However, it did help explain why my baby who was perfectly happy yesterday, is being such a crankypants today (and for the next two weeks).  Knowing that this was a phase (and not the new normal) was so helpful!

http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=120

Not to be a downer on the naps, but Fiona always fought them, and stopped napping altogether at ~21 months.  As she got older and more mobile she was happy to be on her own and exploring (in part because she was obsessed with our cat, who was a moving target and kept her occupied).

Hopefully its a 6 month Wonder Week and she'll settle down after this milestone passes.

[Dot-to-Dot]

Ooo, I do remember hearing about this when my dd1 was little.  (this is dd2).  Yes, she's actually always been this way, from day 1, never even calming down to co-sleep which breaks my heart.  But, in the haze of my frustration, maybe I could flesh out some weeks being tougher than others if I look at the Wonder Weeks info.  Thank you!

And I'd definitely say she's teething.  But, she's been hardcore teething since 2 months.  So over 4 months straight of nashing her gums on everything (well, everything except toys I paid good money for).  She only wants to chew on things like a coffee cup, the baby monitor, the edge of the rockiong chair...but not the beautiful and expensive wooden teethers or anything.  Ha!  I am praying that once some teeth pop out she'll get some reprieve from whatever makes her so cranky.  It looks as if FOUR (two top and two bottom) are going to pop out.  But even some motrin or Tylenol doesn't seem to help her.  (and again, it's unlike me to even resort to OTC remedies, but we've tried everything else to relieve that pain for her). 

Will go read that link now...

[Magali]

At just over 1 year old, I finally figured out how to get my girl to sleep.  I'm not sure if this would be appropriate for a 6 month old though.  I put her in her playpen, I pull the playpen right up to my bed so we are really close and she can see me.  And she screams for about 5 minutes.  and then she falls asleep.  Wow.  This is huge for me because with my son it was so easy.  Nurse to sleep, put him down on the bed, walk away and see you in a few hours.  But not this child!!  I just had so much of a problem with letting her cry at all that it didn't even cross my mind to just put her down.  We still nurse before naps and bed, and every time she wakes back up.  And I NEVER leave her to cry alone.  But one night a few months ago I was at my wits end and I just put her down out of sheer frustration and she actually fell asleep and stayed asleep for a couple of hours.  DH and I just kind of looked at each other wide eyed.  She sleeps so much better on her own too.  At night when she wakes and I bring her to bed she will fuss and squirm after nursing until I place her back in her own bed.  

[dot1]

Have you tried a front facing position in a carrier?   My dd1 was similar until i turned her to face out and she could see what i was doing.  i got a few things done while she was awake.  otherwise she never napped more than 30 min at that age (nor did she sleep well at night - it was a rough time)

Will she fall asleep in a stroller?  does she even like stroller rides?  Later that was the only thing that worked for me....as soon as she looked tired we'd head out and i would park the stroller in the house afterwards.  if she didn't sleep i got some exercise.

good luck...this too shall pass