Ok..so i am not trying to sound like a whiny baby here YET I need some help! First of all let me start by saying that I am a GOOD decorator, (so i have been told) and a clean "freak". We have down sized being as I am looking for a job and we are living just on my husband's income. We needed something that we could afford so we went from a 2/2 - that was over 1400 sq. feet to this duplex which is LESS than 800 sq. ft.
Ok - so....we have a garage which is a huge PLUS and that is where the washer/dryer goes. We also have made "closet space" on the one wall for my husband's clothes that he really doesn't wear too often...as well as my own clothes. We have any of the kids toys in the garage too that they don't play with often.
I have boy/girl twins - 5-1/2 yrs. old. I also have a REALLY nice screened in porch which is my sanctuary and a small fenced in back yard. It doesn't sound bad, right? Well...our Landlord definitely didn't keep up with this place and it has not only a VERY dropped ceiling which is yellow from stains, (we can't clean them - we have tried) - and are NOT allowed to paint. The walls are this eggshell color...EVERYWHERE. The bathroom is RIGHT off the kitchen...aka...no privacy. The kitchen is tiny which is fine - no garbage disposal or dishwasher - floor is parquet...(a plus) - bedrooms' flooring is the same color as the walls in berber carpet.
There is next to NO lighting in the house which i KNOW makes a HUGE difference. I put new blinds on all the windows as well as pretty, light colored curtains to make the rooms appear larger. IF ONLY I COULD PAINT. We all feel like we are in this tiny box when we are all together. I FINALLY realized that it is the HOUSE that is depressing me so much. I thought i was going insane.
I eliminated the kitchen table and chairs because it simply didn't fit in our house. We have two sofas...small entertainment center...no coffee table, (we have a 100 lb. golden retriever - he is our coffee table, haha) - two end tables and a VERY small side table in the kitchen. I keep everything clean and free of clutter. The kids room is large..we gave them the master because of all their toys. Their room is the ONLY room besides the porch that i feel comfortable in. IF the appliances were updated...the ceiling wasn't dropped and we could paint - or do upgrades ourself...this place wouldn't be half bad. BUT we were desperate to find something quick and settled on this place.
I feel horrible but the only place that is comfortable besides the kids room is the porch bc of the vaulted celing out here....(which is where I keep my laptop and do most of any communicating).
Do i just sweat it out until July when our lease is up? When I FINALLY land a job will it get better bc i won't be home all the time?? I feel like a crazy lady...i vacume too much, (twice a day) - clean constantly (kids are out of school on holiday break) and do dishes constantly. OH - we also do NOT have a car...we are waiting until we get our income tax to buy one. We had to give up that luxury too because we needed to really cut back. SO - i can't just leave when i want to....roll down the windows and listen to my music which used to really help me mood wise. My neighbor on the other side is elderly...so i can't really play music too loud over here otherwise i would!
My husband thinks we should put one of the couches in the garage to help out with space. If we do that....then it looks too empty. I tried to give the house some character by adding greenery where i could...put down some pretty rugs, etc. Yet - when i open the front door...it is clean...but then the ceiling gets to me...and yes - there are actual hand prints on the ceiling from someone that did cartwheels or something before we lived here. We took ALL the ceiling tiles down and bleached them. From all the years of "wear and tear" it didn't do ANYTHING. If i could just paint ONE wall I would in a heart beat...what a difference clean, fresh paint makes..BUT - Landlord gave us a big fat no when we asked.
I should be thankful that we have a place of our own...i know that...and I AM - but - i feel like this place is SUCKING me in. HELP! Any suggestions so appreciated. Or is there anyone else out there in the same "boat" i am in??