My husband does not want to me to birth unassisted. Says he doesn't have the knowledge and experience of a mw and would blame himself if something happened to me or baby.
We had a homebirth w mw attending with our daughter and it was great, but I just feel a mw is unnecessary, plus she did a few things that I didn't appreciate (not huge, but just niggling things in my mind).
I worked as a doula for several years and am extremely knowledgeable about birth and am reading up again on the most common complications that could occur (mainly hemmorhage and slow to breathe baby). I told my husband there is nothing the mw could do that we can't. I don't believe our mw carries pitocin or other drugs to stop excessive bleeding. She would have oxygen for the baby though.
We had a teary discussion about it and I agreed to have a mw and perhaps I should simply be grateful for birthing at home in the first place! But, of course i am going to have resentment toward him and if we decided the other way he would be resentful of me.
Our relationship issues are things we are working on anyway and I was hoping that we would be able to really be in this thing together (unexpected pregnancy as well)
I could just labor and not tell him and then have baby by myself, but I feel that that might be me shutting him out and being my normal independent " I don't need anybody" self. I don't think that would be conducive to our relationship healing or to his relationship w the new baby.
Any thoughts? Any body else find a way to deal w/ this that was acceptable to both parties?