Our mother in law has been planting seeds and whatnot about moving in with us. We have been married 4 years with a 14 month old. We are in the process of getting a larger home and while we are wanting to enjoy it, the comments are getting worse. We both have decided that neither parents would move in unless its dire. Mother in law is broke, no job, possibly bi polar, severe bouts with depression off and on. We don't want that in our house and know it would severely strain us. Is it wrong to be willing to pay rent for them in a cheap apartment? I'm sure they will be ungrateful and pissed we don't let then in too!
- topicPersonal Growthtagged by System, 12/20/11
Related Forum Threads
- My Book of Days Last post on 4/17/14 at 1:49pm in Personal Growth
- I had my trust betrayed Last post on 4/17/14 at 1:46am in Personal Growth
- Good morning, Last post on 4/7/14 at 10:38am in Personal Growth
- Why do some people just disappear? Last post on 4/16/14 at 10:53am in Personal Growth
- Wanting the house to myself - Is this unfair? Last post on 3/30/14 at 9:07am in Personal Growth
Guest Blogger: Halfway to Normal's Kristin Tennant on The Love...
Last edited: 3/31/13
- Guest Blogger Cathy Cassani Adams on Self-Care as a Gift to Your...Last edited: 3/31/13
- Riding the Roller Coaster of Pregnancy and Becoming a ParentLast edited: 3/14/13
- Counting BreathsLast edited: 3/30/13
- Happiness and Its AmbiguitiesLast edited: 4/4/13
Mil move in?post #1 of 312/20/11 at 11:32amThread Starterpost #2 of 312/20/11 at 1:10pmpost #3 of 312/20/11 at 5:34pm
How long are you willing to pay that rent? And what if she needs you to pay the electricity too? And the water? Cable? Groceries? etc...?
And if something were to happen (need a new roof? car breaks down? job loss?) and you didn't have that extra money one month, then what?
What happens when she's no longer able to live on her own (due to mental or physical issues)?
This is not something I would take on, myself. But if you really want to, I would sit down (with your partner) and think about all the worst case scenarios and come up with solutions, ground rules and limitations. Write all these things down then think about it a few more days and revisit the conversation. Do this several times - I'd bet you come up with more things to discuss each time. If after all that you are still interested, then you need to work out a working long-term budget and go from there.
We've discussed these things in relation to my aging grandmother. She would never be welcome to live with us in our current house. Aside from the physical logistics of the matter, she also has no support system here whereas she does in her town. But the time is approaching when she's no longer going to be able to live on her own (or drive herself around). I had to sit down and have a very awkward conversation with her about what her plans were, where she was going to go, how it would be paid for, etc. It was very difficult for me, but ultimately it pushed her to do some research into the local senior living situations, cost, and all that jazz. So now she has a plan, and it doesn't involve us. Obviously in that instance she was willing to do the leg work, but it may be something you have to do yourself. Look into senior living situations. Look into any social services she may qualify for (either due to age or mental health). Contact your local counsel on aging and request resources for your area, etc. Find out what the options are other than 1- living with you or 2- you paying for her living expenses until she dies.
- Guest Blogger Cathy Cassani Adams on Self-Care as a Gift to Your...
- › Grateful but tired 10 minutes ago
- › ~~~The Belly Thread~~~ 12 minutes ago
- › Surprise? 14 minutes ago
- › No longer nursing to sleep but I'm having second thoughts 32 minutes ago
- › Pre-teen wild child? 54 minutes ago
- › ~*~The TTC ONE Thread~*~April 2014 1 hour, 32 minutes ago
- › The Saner TTC and Graduates -- Worm Moon 1 hour, 35 minutes ago
- › Dinner - What Are You Having? 1 hour, 36 minutes ago
- › Wanting But Waiting 2014 1 hour, 36 minutes ago
- › One concerned parent to another 1 hour, 46 minutes ago
- › Epibi Nursing Pads by SparkleMaman
- › By Marie Winn - The Plug-In Drug: Television, Computers, and Family... by Catholic Mama
- › Vaccine: The Controversial Story of Medicine's Greatest Lifesaver by ss834
- › Pyur Diaper Balm by MimiPilla
- › Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm, Fragrance Free, by KatelynRose
- › Summer Infant Best View Handheld Color Video Monitor with 2.5"... by thebessmartinfo
- › Happy Heiny's One Size Cloth Diapers by SquirmyWorm
- › Homesteader's Kitchen, The: Recipes from Farm to Table by Monica S
- › Rainbow Light Just Once Prenatal One Multivitamin, 90 Tablets by glwilson22
- › Bear Stays Up for Christmas by rosemarievpaulson
- › Turning Five by Sheryl Paul
- › WellFuture WellBelly April 2014 Giveaway by JenniO11
- › 30 Hilarious and Inspiring Parenting Quotes... by Melanie Mayo
- › Should We Stop Acting Like Breastfeeding is a... by Sarah Clark
- › Got Trust? The Antidote for Insecurity &... by Marcy Axness
- › Finding My Tribe After the Death of My Daughter by Melanie Mayo
- › Ten Tips for Surviving Two Under Two by Melanie Mayo
- › The Worry and Wonderment of Parenting by Melanie Mayo
- › 5 Surprising Benefits to Making a Pet a Part... by Melanie Mayo
- › Mining Joy from the Muck of Daily Mothering by Marcy Axness