I just feel like this AP style of parenting should be the easiest thing and what's best for everyone. Isn't that how it's meant to be? I mean, it's so simple.
Actually breastfeeding and co-sleeping are the easiest parts, for me. He's for the most part great during nursing and at night (except the last three nights, no one has gotten any sleep - but that hasn't been the norm for the last three months or so). And Rhyko absolutely has to be nursing to fall asleep (other than crying, I guess) and so not co-sleeping wouldn't work for us, I don't think. And I loathe pumping and bottles. And during breastfeeding is one of the only times I feel love for him.
My husband does know. He pretty much just thinks I'm crazy, irrational, and stubborn.
I feel like I suppose therapy might help, but I feel like a therapist would tell me to sleep train, bottle feed and get a job outside the home. Are there AP friendly therapists and how do I find one? I don't really feel like I have the time to be able to get away for therapy sessions, though. I don't have anyone who could watch R during the day.
I'd just like to fast forward 20 years so he's in college or at least moved out and I can get back to doing some crafting and traveling and perhaps feel human again. I just really dislike being a parent. Pretty much worst decision I ever made. Sucks I STILL feel this way 8 months pp.