If you want to share, feel the need to process, or want to read about what other ladies have been through, this is where to go.
If you don't want to hear about it, go find another thread - I figured separating it out this way was the best option for those mamas who want to avoid birth stories, particularly since several of us seem to fall under the "scary" category.
Wonderful idea, Cristeen.
I love this idea! I don't have any of my own stories, as this is my first time being a mama, but I'm one of those people who WANTS to hear difficult birthing stories - that way, I'll feel prepared if things are difficult, and I'll feel relieved if everything turns out the way I hope it does.
I have one birth story saved still, from my first baby. For my second I wrote it out twice on separate computers and then had both of those computers crash and lose it entirely, the hard drives failed :(
I just read it over today and I think I was writing it out for a very non-homebirth-friendly audience and was super positive and enthusiastic about the whole thing. Or my memories have just changed a lot in the passing years- I wrote about how great and encouraging the midwives are, but now I think about how bossy and pushy and rude they seemed. I wrote things like how they "encouraged me to push if I wanted to" but that's not what they did- they definitely said "okay, you're a 10, lets start pushing!" Hmm. Memories are weird things, aren't they?
Should I just post it here....? I'm just thinking about how HUGE that post would be, my birth story is not short! I assume others have similar stories in length?
Actually... I posted in here a VERY brief birth story for my second baby, a UC (almost 2 years ago now! Crazy!) with photos.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1189704/orrin-is-here-updated-with-pics-in-op
The link to the Facebook album is still valid, too, if anyone wants to take a gander.
Yeah! Go ahead and post it, that's the point of the thread.
I've actually never typed up birth stories for either of the boys, and all these years later I'm not sure I want to.
LOL Grace - I know what you mean about memories and so on. The fact then becomes - "Which version is the truth?" LOL
I know that after my second birth I totally typed up a glossed over story full of painting things as beautiful as I could because I didn't want to 'paint a bad picture' on the HB community. All these years later, ugh.
I looked at your beautiful birth photos :) You all are a gorgeous family! Good job on birthing your babe!
I wrote out LOONNNGGGG birth stories for the first part of both my births, lol. Then I lost steam and wasn't as into it by the time I got back to it... Anyway, I seem to have easy pregnancies and AWFUL deliveries. I've had two sections, both for failure to progress. The first one I felt railroaded and bullied, the second one I felt so empowered and in charge- and I had the exact same result. Honestly, my labors were almost identical. Sigh. After my second section my skin didn't take to the staples well, so I went home with a 4-inch open wound on my abdomen. I ended up with a NASTY post-op infection and was re-hospitalized for another 5 days and 5 or 6 different antibiotics- plus a weird allergic reaction to something and a biopsy.
I'd MUCH rather not have another section, especially after my last experience and I'll have a 2-year-old to think about this time around. But I don't know if a) they'll even "let" me try for another VBAC (I'm assuming that I'll need to be induced) and b) if it's even worth trying. I've tried twice and I don't really know why it would work out differently this time around.
(FWIW, I wasn't induced with my first and went to 43 weeks. She was 10 1/2 pounds. I was induced with my second at 41 weeks with no sign of labor in sight. So I don't really think that I'll have spontaneous labor before my baby turns into a toddler while still in utero...) :)
Nothing scary about my birth =D
I was 21 y/o with a very much surprise baby and started out with OB care...switched to a MW and birth center at 26 weeks pregnant! (OB told me "drug free births just don't happen.." So I switched care to a place with no drugs)
I started doing hypnobabies prior to birth and really loved it!
4am my water broke the day before I was "due". 30 mins later my contractions kicked in. I tried to relax in the tub and I listened to my hypnobabies CDs. 8 am I called the MW and told her I was on my way...
2hour drive later (and doing hypnobabies the whole time!) I arrived at the birth center 5cm dialated
I *wanted* a water birth but my instincts were going off like crazy to stay away from the water! I walked around a lot and laid in bed focusing on the CD and talking down my contraction with the phrase "it's just tightening and pressure".
My body began an urge to push. My DD's head kept going in and out of my pelvis and I couldn't seem to get her past the bone. I pushed for a good 3 hours but I really thought it was only 30 mins. She finally made it past my pelvis and crowned. I waited and gently pushed her the rest of the way when my body prompted it.
She was born at 4:06 pm that same day! 8lbs 6 oz
The ride was very long b/c of rush hour traffic and the birth center being over an hour away but it was so worth it! I got to leave 5hours later!
This time we are having a home birth :)
Birth number one, i was 17 and clueless. I went in to the hospital the night before for labor and was sent home and told I was not in labor. I continued to feel mild cramping through out the day. I thought nothing of them, they didn't hurt that bad, but I called my doc as the nurse at the hospital suggested just to check in.
My doctor said I was most likely not in labor but to come in and get checked. I drove my self to his office and waited for an hour and a half in the waiting room before he finally got me in.
When he checked me the look on his face was one of pure shock.
"OMG you are 7 cm! You need to get to the hospital asap!"
Not feeling badly I argued that I needed to go home and get my hospital bag. He insisted I go straight to the hospital, but I still went home and got my bag. It was only a mile a way.
Once I arrived t the hospital i walked up to labor and delivery and told them "My doctor says I am in labor,and that I am 7 centimeters. He said I should come in" I was laughing and joking and not really in a lot of pain so the nurses did not take me seriously. So they directed me to sit on a little plastic chair, and there I sat for almost 45 minutes.
After I finally got a room and the nurse checked me, she had that same look that the doctor had. I was almost 8 by then.
The rest of the labor sucked, I was put in bed where my labor stalled and it too literally another 6 hours to have baby(three of those were pushing)
That was the med free birth of my now 15 year old.
I was 21 with my first. I hired a Homebirth midwife right away and began educating myself. My mom had all home births, my Grandma had 9 out of her 13 at home. Homebirth was just something we do, it wasn't the political/media deal that it is today - so I was not looking to make any statement about birth when I first started on my parenting path.
But...being young and inexperienced I quickly got wrapped up into home birth wars and the circus that it was becoming. I would say that I became judgmental and somewhat prideful after my first birth went so smoothly. 
My first birth happened a few days after the 'due' date. I was walking and kept feeling my belly getting rock hard at about 10pm. Husband and I played some board games and watched a movie. Contractions were getting very uncomfortable, forcing me to stay up through the night and bounce on my birth ball or take hot showers. By 1pm my water had broke and there was meconium in it, I also had bloody show. Contractions were to the point I could not talk comfortably through them and I felt a lot of pressure and some pain. There were tears and outbursts. I was tired, and overwhelmed feeling. I tried napping, and did manage to get a 30 minute one in - somehow...
Midwives showed up and left between 2 and 3pm.
They came back around 6pm. I had a cervical lip that hurt like HELL to get pushed back. I remember I was DONE during transition. I cried and beat my pillow wanting to go to the hosp for pain relief. LOL I was the whiniest laboring woman ever. But, I won't mince words - It hurt!
Baby was born after a half hour of pushing at 9 pounds 6 ounces 19" at 7 pm. No tears, all was well. So a 21 hour labor, with about 18 of it being active labor (to the point all I could focus on was labor) I would say.
So after feeling very strong and accomplishing that feat - I began being a young judgmental mommy. I would look at a woman who wanted an epidural from the start like "wuss". After having 1 kid I totally knew all things parenting, dontchaknow. LOL
I could pinpoint who was screwing up their kid out of a crowd. LOL Yeah, in my head I was insufferable - really.
Keep this in mind as you read my second birth and don't feel too bad for me....warning: not a butterfly & pixie dust birth story
My second birth didn't want to start. It was 10 days after the magical 'due' date and I was exhausted. My body was so tired, I hadn't had a full nights rest since baby #1 had been born. Labor started with a back ache. A dull, horrid back ache. I woke up with it. I rested in the shower with the hot water on my back. Nothing was helping. I went through my day, very uncomfortable.
By that night at 6pm I was having contractions that were painful, but I had been in so much pain since that morning with my back that I didn't assume I was in labor.
By 11 pm I sat on my birthball, with the breast pump working its magic (trying to augment labor- I did not want it to stall out). I was in pain, and I was just damn tired of being pregnant. I couldn't sleep with these contractions I was having and I wanted this show on the road.
I stayed up most of the night contracting by myself listening to drum music, swaying on my birth ball, in the shower, going through my birth positions for a baby I suspected was still posterior (due to the back ache)..I think I laid down in the bed with my husband and babe around 4 am. Even though I was very uncomfortable and in labor, I slept for two hours and as I had the day before - awoke with a back ache.
Around 6:30 am I was climbing the walls with discomfort. It felt like someone was cutting on my back with out numbing me first. Discomfort may be the 6 years later -glossed over word. It was painful. It hurt as bad as the worst pain I felt in birth #1 but I still had hours to go and unbeknownst to me - a lot more pain to go through.
The midwife assistant came to try and help me get the baby turned. I was for sure the babe was posterior and all the positions I had tried had done squat. We did the arnica and hands on knees and...nothing.
Babe was going to come out posterior despite my constant monitoring of fetal positioning and all that 'preventative education' through the pregnancy.
Hours passed of pain. Around 11 am I wanted my midwife who had a total attitude to break my water, but she didn't (she was very 'hands off' but also acted pissed to be there). It didn't matter anyways, I was in so much pain that even if she was there for me I don't think it would have helped any.
I can only describe transition with babe #2 as "If I had a gun I gladly would have ended it myself" that is not hyperbole, that is absolutely serious...I screamed like a women on movies scream once. It was...words can't describe. I felt like I was literally being torn apart. Literally.
I would not wish that pain on my worst enemy.
Around noon I started feeling pushy. I hated pushing with my first. It was one of the most painful parts. Thankfully, it was quick for me so I knew to just get to work and do IT.
I was in such emotional and physical wreckage that all I remember was pushing and feeling nothing but like I was going to black out. Finally my water bag broke after about 5 minutes of pushing. A couple more pushes and she was out after 15 minutes of pushing my 9 pound 7 ounce 22" long posterior baby with a nuchal hand was born.
I want to say that I held her and it all melted away and I was overcome with oxytocin and love hormones and feeling empowered and all that stuff.
But, that would be a lie and would serve no one.
I faked a smile because the camera was turned on me and I knew that if I didn't smile it would look like I didn't love my child. Honestly, I was just glad it was over. I would have gladly handed the baby to my husband so I could retreat to a place of safety and comfort, but I didn't. I held the baby, faked a smile, and tried to understand where *I* went wrong. Me with all my so called birth education compared to the average Joe and my prior birth experience...
2 years later I still could not sit on a chair without a lot of padding. My tailbone to this day still gets sore.
This is honestly a birth that I can say would have been better for me if I had went to the hospital for an epidural. However, my short time as judgmental mommy was OVER. From then on out I began studying even more, and realized that birth is so much more than just pushing a baby out. I won't go on a soap box, but my experience (combined with a much harder experience which is not my story to tell) taught me that a beautiful birth can come in many different forms and support truly makes the difference before, during, and after.
3rd Birth:
After my second birth, I was terrified. So terrified of this third babe making its way out of my body. Yes, I could have a birth like my first - but I could also have a birth like my second. I was so scared, so I took some birth classes loosely styled off of "Birthing From Within" (I figured this would do best for a traumatic experience) and they didn't really help much because I found myself getting irate with a few of the women in the class. First time mom to be's who were already all judgmental about how every one gave birth, parented, blahblahblah. Like myself after number 1 but even worse, and they hadn't given birth yet!
I was there trying to work through my trauma and fear without scaring the others (though I will admit the bad part of me wanted to just because of how arrogant and pompous one lady in particular was) and really, I didn't find the class all that helpful.
I wanted an unassisted birth but my husband said "NO". He said if an emergency happened, he wanted help and since it was our baby and our birth, he should have a say so. I agreed, I wanted him to be comfortable also because our first birth had been such a bonding experience for both of us.
In my third trimester I hired some midwives at a birthing center who would attend me at home. I told them I wanted them hands off, in fact - I didn't even really want them there in my space. I knew state law said they had to be in the room while I was pushing but beside that - away from me unless I called for them.
They agreed, and were supportive.
13 days after my due date I was crying and contracting while on the phone with my mom "Take me to the *beeeeeeep* hospital and let them cut this kid out" LOL
I was measuring 54cm and dialated to 3 with NOTHING. I was huge, I was in pain, it felt like a bowling ball was resting right there making sitting, standing, and just breathing as uncomfortable as possible.
I had been contracting on and off for *DAYS* and labor would just keep stalling out. I asked the midwife to please strip my membranes and they did. I didn't feel a thing.
2 days later (15 days past my due date) I drive to the birth center to see if there is anything they could do to get labor going. The mw said that I was already in early labor. I was like "Yeah right lady" because there was nothing different about these contractions than the ones I had been feeling for a week straight now.
I drove the 40 miles home with my husband, contracting uncomfortable and out of my mind with hormones. We went to the groc. store and got some watermelon and chips. I leaned against the conveyor belt and breathed through a contraction.
At home I sat and crocheted over and over the same two colors and then frogged them. My mom came up and her and husband started watching a Law and Order marathon while the babies slept. I laid down behind the couch and slept. I guess while I was sleeping I was groaning/moaning through contractions...I awoke at 5:30 am to them still watching the show. I needed to pee. I stood up and *POP* out down my leg came my waters.
I went to the shower and stood there.
Labor was fast but bearable. Yes, it was uncomfortable and painful at parts - but my husband was right there supporting me. My sister and Mom hung out helping with the kids and anything my husband needed.
Around 10 am the midwives showed up and I was already pushing :) Baby crowned with her elbow splayed across her face. Assistant midwife was afraid it was a shoulder dislocate, but nope. She was just fine.
They were there a total of 8 minutes before the baby was born at 10:08 am
Baby was 10 pounds 4 ounces and 22 1/2" long with a 15 head. She was soooo FAT and squishy and cute.
Baby number 4's story is to come in May, if I am so blessed.
One more, my last baby was posterior and I know exactly what you mean about being torn in 1/2! I felt like I was going to be slit in 1/2. I had crazy making back labor, and lost my mind with that baby. But as soon as it was really, really, bad, I was in transition. But yes, I know exactly what you mean about that feeling of being ripped in 1/2! That was the only labor I had like that... the rest were not as bad as that one. Yes, it hurt, but not like that.
He also had nuchal hand and was almost 9 lbs.
I am going to scrub my floors on my hands and knees to get this baby to be in the right position before he is due!
Oh, I am happy (but sad) to hear someone else knows what I am talking about! I know exactly what you mean when you say you 'lost your mind' with that baby. That is exactly what that birth felt like.
Did you have the problems with your tailbone after? Mine has never been the same, but does not hurt like it did the first couple years after the birth.
One more, my last baby was posterior and I know exactly what you mean about being torn in 1/2! I felt like I was going to be slit in 1/2. I had crazy making back labor, and lost my mind with that baby. But as soon as it was really, really, bad, I was in transition. But yes, I know exactly what you mean about that feeling of being ripped in 1/2! That was the only labor I had like that... the rest were not as bad as that one. Yes, it hurt, but not like that.
He also had nuchal hand and was almost 9 lbs.
I am going to scrub my floors on my hands and knees to get this baby to be in the right position before he is due!
These stories are amazing. As someone who is 100 percent new at this, I appreciate the honesty about the good and the bad. And Grace, your photos are beautiful!
I am a bit confused about what is meant by the baby being "posterior." Is that when his face is turned toward your spine? My MW said my placenta is posterior. Is it related to that? I am nervous about the possibility of back labor.
These stories are amazing. As someone who is 100 percent new at this, I appreciate the honesty about the good and the bad. And Grace, your photos are beautiful!
I am a bit confused about what is meant by the baby being "posterior." Is that when his face is turned toward your spine? My MW said my placenta is posterior. Is it related to that? I am nervous about the possibility of back labor.
It shouldn't affect the baby :)
posterior does refer to the direction the baby is facing during active labor. It can create pains that are more focused to the back of the mama. There are ways of coping with the pain, but with the little hand there, too, it is more painful. Being on hands and knees, like when you are scrubbing a floor, is one way to encourage baby to flip before labor... so hopefully my nesting instinct will drive me to want very clean floors ! LOL
posterior does refer to the direction the baby is facing during active labor. It can create pains that are more focused to the back of the mama. There are ways of coping with the pain, but with the little hand there, too, it is more painful. Being on hands and knees, like when you are scrubbing a floor, is one way to encourage baby to flip before labor... so hopefully my nesting instinct will drive me to want very clean floors ! LOL
Right. And, just cause I do NOT want to scare any one - posterior is survivable and there are quite a few variations to posterior 'pain'. So please don't assume if your child is posterior that you are going to have hell to pay during birth. Forestmushroom is the only other lady I've met who says it felt like being torn in half, so maybe typically it isn't all that much worse than normal?
I haven't been to a birth with a posterior baby before, so really I don't have anything but my own personal experience to judge from.
My step mom didn't think contractions were that much worse (if at all) than normal with a posterior- that it was just located in the back instead.
Honestly, I don't know *why* my birth was so painful - I did all the spinning babies and so on but child stayed posterior. She is also my child with special needs, so perhaps it was just something in her personality and how she needed to be birthed for her own safety reasons. It could also be God's way of giving me a much needed lesson in humility.
It made me a better person, and gave me a beautiful child..
Wild shots in the dark on the speculation, but honestly thats all I have.
Long story short, do what you can to prevent a posterior babe but if yours is posterior - don't freak out and assume the worst. Wide variation of normal in regards to pain. Mine was just kind of a birth horror story and there are 2 million other happy outcomes much more likely than mine that you are MUCH MORE LIKELY TO EXPERIENCE.
My best friend had a posterior baby and she didn't know she was in labor until she was 9cm! She thought she just had a killer back ache LOL
Both of my babies were posterior. Nigella was posterior with a titled head- she came out sideways with one side of her head all bruised from the pressure. Orrin was posterior for the majority of the labour, and he was seriously seriously STUCK. I think he maybe was posterior with a brow presentation (based on what i could tell, it was a UC after all!) and after nearly 2 hours of non-progressive pushing he flipped and was born anterior about 5 minutes later.
I had no back pain with either of them. Some typical "hallmarks" of posterior babies is long, slow labour, sporadic contraction pattern, and back pain- I had none of those. Labour progressed very normally until pushing started and the lack of progression started. An anterior placenta can encourage posterior positioning of the baby, too- I had an anterior with nigella, but posterior placenta with Orrin. Anterior placenta with this one, too. I also KNEW Orrin was posterior for a long time before he was born- like, weeks. Months, possibly. I tried everything to get him to turn- and he would, while i was in the hands and knees position, etc, and then would flip back as soon as I stood up. He was determined to do it his own way for as long as possible.
I am very VERY determined not to have another posterior babe, but I really don't know that there's much I can do about it. I'm wondering if something about the shape of my pelvis makes it the only comfy position? I will do all the spinning babies stuff, maybe even some homeopathy, chiropractic, accupressure, etc. I'd love to avoid another 2 hour pushing phase.
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